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| This anuses me haha. Love it. 02. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. |
| The First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them) 01. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 02. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. 03. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 04. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 05. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public. 06. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. 07. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 08. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 09. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor." 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one. |
| Drum-roll please. Or not. Coming in January, 2020, WDC's prodigal son, Timtu, returns and rejoins with his many friends -- okay, a couple, I think. My recent voyage of self-discovery has taught me little more than what I already knew -- okay, make that a lot more. Your humble servant will therefore start vacuuming and dusting his cobweb-strung office, putting books back on their shelves, and replacing a now defunct calendar with a more current edition. No flower-strewn parade is necessary, as I shall resume my former work here in the least obnoxious manner possible. I offer an appropriate metaphor, that of a clean slate, and wish that all my past and former transgressions, insults, and otherwise rude behaviors will make way for a renewed onslaught of new transgressions, insults, and otherwise rude behaviors. |
| If God were a Time of Day, Then Mornings She would be. If the God to Whom I prithee, Should She grant me to be privy, I would seek to know Who be Thee, That I might lay me down to pray. An original poem by Timtu, who, to quote General Douglas MacArthur and say, "Hello," to all my Filipino friends here at WDC, "I shall return." |
Introducing Timtu's Fly-By [Night] Reviews Ever want a quick, down and dirty overview of your story, poem, or writing skills in general? A totally honest opinion that results from a fast but thorough appraisal of your work? Where encouragement of your strengths supersedes harsh criticisms of flaws and weaknesses. But why bother, you ask, with my opinion about anything, let alone a scrutiny of your writing? As a publisher of six novels with over twenty-five years of literary experience, I'm not suggesting that I'm some great writer who should be listened to. Nope, that's not what this is all about. Nor is it about your more typical, more standard reviews -- all of which have their rightful and important, undisputed place here at WDC. Please understand, therefore, that what I offer is not a routine, formal review. No stars here. On the contrary, this invite simply involves one or more emails just betwixt me and thee, should you be interested. All I ask, but will never demand, is that you let me know if my fly-by critique was helpful or not. I still want to improve as much as you do.  Over the years, I've fine-tuned some very important skills with regard to self-editing -- for both my own writing and that penned by others. Even then, few of us ever truly perfect this often lonely art. The inability of authors, young and old alike, to edit their own works-in-progress, is probably the single, most challenging -- and unforgiving -- aspect of writing. Learning to self-edit, and do it well, can mean the difference between real authorship (being published), or just a hobby -- usually without any real aims or goals in mind. The cure to writers' block for example, is often no more complicated than gaining a fair, honest, and/or realistic approximation of our talent as a writer. A fair critique by a total stranger who has no proverbial axe-to-grind, and who only wants to help those who might welcome (and benefit from) a brief assessment of their stuff.  The aim is such that we want our work to require the least amount of professional editing, as possible. Our manuscripts must, sooner or later, face professional (and expensive) Editor Monsters. The less work you make for them, the less you'll have to pay. Pure and simple. And, no, I'm not soliciting for an editing service.  Come one, come all. Timtu |
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