I found this poem beautiful and truthful. ''Gone'' the title spoke to me, the main theme Regret hit me with a truth, I knew.
“Regret is insight that comes a day too late”
I have made a lot of mistakes, said alot of hurtful things and each time I regretted it.I believe what you are trying to emphasize is that we should live each day, the right way because there is no second chance. Yesterday is gone.GREAT READ.
I would have given you a five but you seem to be against that . I found your rant to be both educational and truthful. I can not say you opened my eyes but you definetly reinstated the cold harsh truth, I already knew.
If you wrote this quote, then this is FANTASTIC. There is something about love , that is foreign. It is always different and there is always something new to learn. I Look at the heart as uncharted area , because it has no reason ,it just does. I THINK THIS QUOTE IS BEAUTIFUL.
toooooo short. If you add a little more , this would be bigger and this poem would mean more. I would think that love related subjects should be bigger because there are a hundred ways to say I love you.Emphasize the surrender. I would imagine when you surrender your love , you give some part of you away and from what I hear trusting anyone with you heart is quite painful. Maybe tell me why you are surrendering.
Nicely done.You had great choice of wording and vocabulary. Goodness sake you loved this person, I mean it was all about Maggie. The character and I are reallly different , as someone who has experienced being left : I would never let her back in. I guess what I am saying is you got a 4.5 mainly because this story is not realistic. I would have liked to see Cara become more than imaginary. I get what you tried to do , but perfect is unrealistic. Add pain, add suffering do not make it so fairytale.All in all I loved the being in love aspect of this. Its good to read something happy at times.Good READ
VERY LOVELY, I have to say. You did a very good job of describing a moment.That says a lot about you as an author. The imagery was great, I could see , and feel all that you wrote. Maybe if you changed the title to something else, reviewers can appreciate this art a little bit more.
I am very much impressed by you.You present very straight forward and real opinions on life. I find your writing unique and masterful. You have this way of getting people to think like you. I read somewhere that love wasnt being perfect it was seeing those imperfections perfectly. I guess what I am saying is they dont have to perfect their love has to be. You gave me alot of things to think about, opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. WONDERFUL READ.
WOW !!!! Never have I read anything as inspiring and thought provoking as this.At times I do find myself asking whether this is all a dream. Instead of thinking it a dream , you compare it to a dream. though it might be a dream as in aspirations, I look to it more as fantasy world. You are right life is whatever I make it. I love love that it is not in typical poem form , but more of a speech.GOOD READ.
Keep writing and I might buy your book sometime soon.
GREAT READ. I find this poem very beautiful, which shows just how beautiful their love is. Though I am against friends becoming more , I dont mind it in this context. This person brings the very best out of you
, you feel as though when they were not there you were lost. NICELY DONE.
LOVE LOVE LOVE The rhyme scheme.I have to congratulate you, you seem to have a way to communicate fear in words. Often times when authors attempt themes such as love , hate and fear it does not come across well.You touched everything , the feelings, the embarrasment .Great title , says it all.
love love love it.The suspense is great , fantastic.The only disappointment is the ending, its wrong but i wanted her to jump.there was so much emphasis on her jumping it seemed as though thats were the story was going.short stories need a twist ending to bring something more to the table.Maybe if the guy was God and she had already died.
wowowowowowow!!! I completely see why you are the one who won the competition, you deserved it.Everything is perfect.I love the flashback and the epiphany towards his demise was absolutely brilliant.This was A beautiful story about all the worlds common end.We always see our deaths as in the future but you take that and you make it known to all that its now .Each choice , decision is another step closer.BRILLIANT
the purpose of short stories is to tell a story in short.the dialogue , you are great at representing, but i just dont get story from this.he loves this girl i get that but what is this story about?i was hoping that at the end i would have figured it out , but i cant really.is their love wrong?if you would explain this i would be happy to look over this again.
I have to say that this appealed to merely because i believe , in this but as i read on i found its true beauty.very well written.-.5 because the dialogue needs different wording and rewriting.all in all good idea.
Lovely .its so short yet it says it all.If a writer can tell a story in 150 words or less, it says a lot about their talent and craft.What i have to say about this is, you have it.You are a writer.my reason for taking away a half a point is if you are seven yrs old then think like that.Some of the diction is that of a mature person.all in all great work.
wow!You tackled quite a few issues.What i am not sure is are you for these things or against?You are obviously very opinionated , this is not a well favored subject and you get your point across.VERY graphic , i looked away a few times.Anything that has to do with informing the world about the world around them , i love.I do love the rhyming it lightens things a bit.
LOVELY.Very good descriptions , they really help a reader picture every detail. The way you described everything made me more and more interested.It allowed me to dig into the story and devour every word..i love how you give each character a chance to shine, giving me a sense of their personality.Its quite lovely how you used different point of views for breaks.its very different.keep writing, there is something very special here
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. I found your rant to be both educational and truthful. I can not say you opened my eyes but you definetly reinstated the cold harsh truth, I already knew.