Hi Sue,
I sometimes find repetition of a line or a word, in a poem, a little monotonous, but here you have used it well to emphasise the title and enhance the real feeling of the poem.
A delightful read, simple yet so meaningful.
Well written.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Sue,
I can see why this piece won first place.
It has all the elements of a song.
The lyrics are written in such a way that music is not needed to get the feel of the tune. The flow of the piece plays its own melody.
The subject matter is also an ideal one for the makings of a good song. Unrequited love or a lost love or a love turned sour ... anything about love is sure to be a hit.
Well done and congratulations on first placing with this one.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Sue,
This is a well constructed piece with perfect rhyme and rhythm which allows the reader to feel the mood and emotions throughout the poem, without stumbling over a line too long or too short.
One can concentrate on the content of the poem and absorb it's message.
Well done here.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Sue,
Poetry is certainly a means by which we can express our thoughts and feelings and dreams in a few lines.
And sometimes the unwritten words between those lines conjure up an image for the reader.
A few chosen words or phrases can say so much more than a whole paragraph of prose.
You are so right. Poetry does come from the heart.
Well written.
Cheers Meg.
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I am so pleased to see that the majority of the votors agree with my vote, Matt.
At least in the 60's and 70's one could understand the words of the songs.
Then again it may be an age thing too. Music one listened to as a teenager/young adult has much more nostalgic value. If one is under 35, other types of music would be favoured over the 60's and 70's classics.
Thanks for the poll.
Cheers Meg.
Hi Shirley,
This is an astounding geography lesson put wonderfully into verse.
You have portrayed a very vivid picture of Mt. Baker, your "Ice Cream Cone", and no doubt all who live beneath it are aware of the force she could unleash at any time.
To see the picture, the mountain looks so beautiful and serene. It's hard to believe it could be so destructive. Let's hope this sleeping giant stays sleeping for more years yet.
One thing I learned when I went to school
Was always obey the golden rule.
And now you've gone and wrecked it for me,
I'll never believe now that it's "i" before "e".
I'm Aussie, and English is the language we use,
And we, like you, have a penchant for "u's". Humour's a lonely word for me too,
If I can't make a funny including You too.
One little hiccup I found in your rhyme
Was a word that you used demonstrating the crime
of not obeying the hard and fast law
that "e" follows "i" and does not come before.
The word that you mentioned, and I query, is "thier"
I believe it's spelt "their" as the rule does declare.
I'm not being picky, I love your neat poem,
I'll get back in my box now, and head off back home.
I am amazed that you are still sane! I am amazed that any wife/mother is still sane.
We can all relate to this, Victoria.
I have attended many weddings, including my own, and cannot remember any of these things being mentioned in the vows. Yet all men seem to know these hard and fast rules. I think it is just a characteristic of the male species.
But.....would we ever be happy without them around?
Cheers Meg...scrumming through chocolate wrappers to find a bit of comfort food! Yes! I have that same problem here too!
This story has brought tears to my eyes.
Not tears of sadness or pity, but tears of the kind that fall when one reads a story of love and devotion that goes with the pride one has in herself and her loved one.
The honour and gratitude you have shown here toward your husband is overwhelming. He is certainly one very special person who recognised another very special person when he found you.
I am very proud to say that I too have loved a man such as this, and though he is no longer with us, his love will always be felt by all of those whose lives he touched.
Hi Magoo,
This is so true of Kindy kids.
They look so little yet it belies the fact that they really are all grown up now and can fend for themselves, right? Just ask them they'll tell you so!
I really feel for teachers of the younger kids. They have much more patience than I would ever have!
Lovely poem with a rollicking rhyme to put the reader in the right mood for enjoying it.
Welldone.
Cheers Meg.
Hi IGW,
Thought I would return the favour of your review.
When I saw you were into sci-fi, I took a step back!
Not my favourite genre.
I was so pleased to find this pleasant little rollicking ditty, as you so aptly described it.
I love the ending. It tells me that I, the reader can go ahead and do as I wish. You have more important urgent things to do, like opening presents.
Just what we need at this time of the year. A little bit of lightheartedness and fun. Well done.
Cheers Meg.
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Now you are teasing me with all this talk of freezing walks to the mailbox.
Would you believe I have never seen snow?
Thank goodness there are writers like you who can take me there to dream of freezing my fingers and nose, and maybe getting frostbite.
Still it would be wonderful to just once feel that soft white ground cover beneath my feet.
I sincerely hope, for the sake of your loved ones in New Orleans, you made it to the mailbox.
Hi Angie,
A poem about a Mother's love will grab a heart anytime, no matter how tough that heart may try to be.
I can feel the personal inspiration and experience that has gone into these words, and it feels marvellous.
Those sneaky apostrophes seem to disappear right when you need them most:- A mother's love How constant are a mother's fears
Keep writing, Angie, I sense you have many tales to tell, be they sentimental or humourous.
I shall watch for more in your port in the near future.
Come visit my port anytime.
Cheers Meg.
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Hello Angie,
Another poem with heartfelt emotions giving it that personal touch that makes a poem shine.
Drawing on your own feelings for inspiration gives your work that extra special something for the reader to enjoy.
A few errors I noticed, if I may point them out to you, With starry eyes
and to keep the plural constant:- search their souls it seems
and:- A simple answer somewhere lies
Well done.
Cheers Meg.
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You certainly do a lot of deep thinking, Tim, and it makes for wonderful poetry. A delight to read.
The first line of the 3rd stanza seems just that little bit too wordy, if that is the right way to describe it.
My suggestion only:- My heart's been broken many times,
Been ripped right from my chest.
As I said, just a suggestion. It is a lovely heartfelt piece of work.
Cheers Meg.
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Hello again Tim,
Another easy flowing poem with a profound message.
A lot of things here to really think about how we feel about our true friends.
I feel the poem stopped just one stanza short, though.
I was swinging along with the rhythm and looking for a 12th stanza.
My suggestion only:- When you find
those special friends,
Love and treasure them.
Well done. A poem worth re-reading quite a few times.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Tim,
This is a poem that is very easy to read. It flows along so freely, the reader can concentrate on the message without stumbling over an uneven rhythm.
Well done on the technical front.
The first line of stanza 2, however, seemed, to me, somehow out of place with the smooth language of the rest of the poem. May I suggest Should you have a thought. Just my personal feeling.
The overall message of the poem was perfect. The 2 final stanzas sum it up wonderfully.
Most enjoyable reading.
Cheers Meg.
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A rollicking rhyme that rolls along with a really bouncy beat.
An unusual rhyme scheme that would have had you searching for the right rhyme. At times when there are so many like rhymes in a poem, the words tend to become forced as you slowly run out of appropriate options of rhymes, but you have succeeded in making the words come naturally.
The only stumbling line is the 2nd line in the 5th verse. It just seems a little out of sync with the rest of the poem.
A fun read.
Thanks Meg.
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Hello there,
My love of poetry is only exceeded by my love of poetry with a story.
In these few verses you have expressed all the thoughts that would go through my mind as I sat down at the computer to write a rhyme or two.
We know what we should be doing, but a finished poem does give so much satisfaction to the writer.
I am looking forward to seeing what else you have achieved in the writing arena when you should have been doing important? work.
Cheers Meg.
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I am pleased to say that this book has pride of place on my bookshelf already, Lou.
It's just a shame the Author could not have signed it for me. That would have been a bit difficult though, wouldn't it.
Hope it is getting the response it so richly deserves.
Cheers...your #1 fan...Meg.
This is really lovely, Julie.
A stand back, take stock, take a deep breath, and get on with life attitude.
It is a hard road, but we can do it with God's help, and the character he gave us to to stand and be strong.
I like the idea of the first and last verses enveloping the poem. It rounds it off so well.
Cheers Meg.
Hi Morgan,
Good use of the word prompts here, and you tell your story clearly of a writer getting absorbed in his/her work.
In the last verse "rhythm". Seems the keys jump out of place on your keyboard, as they do mine.
Your rhyming is perfect in all but the last line.
Sometimes you can get away with a close rhyme in the middle of a poem, but it really stops the reader with a jolt when the finale is not perfect.
I have some suggestions that I will give you shortly to polish off this catchy poem.
Very cute Morgan.
It gives a lovely picture of a shy young child going trick or teating for the first time, and Mum standing close by giving encouragement.
Acrostics are fun. I see you have entered the Monthly acrostic contest? That's what got me started on writing them.
Good luck in the contest.
Welcome to WDC, I'm sure you will have lots of fun writing and meeting so many new friends.
Cheers Meg.
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