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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ashakristone
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Asha
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This was awesome. There have been few stories on Writing.com that I liked as much as this (mind, I haven't read all the stories on here). It was deep and intriguing. The variety in sentence and paragraph structure definitely helped keep the story flowing. I loved how poetry was integrated into the story. It gave it some extra oomph. Write on!

Asha *Wink*
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Review of The Moment  
Review by Asha
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It was definitely interesting. I liked the story line and it looks like a great idea. The sentences could use more variety of structure and length. Your paragraphs are done very well. Nate and Jack are great characters with a lot of realism. The beginning and the split tale is creative, but I'm not sure it works very well. Maybe integrate them, so you can get both sides of the story without having it split, or turn it into two complete stories.
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Review of GREYHOUND GRIFTER  
Review by Asha
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. It was very well written, grammatically and structurally. The variety in sentence and paragraph length really helped to keep my eyes flowing through your story. I loved how you got the conversations to feel so realistic and omitted the he said/she saids without the dialogue becoming confusing. I didn't quite understand whether Ellie just freaked out over nothing, or if Pete really was a bad guy, but maybe I missed something or there's another chapter or something. I'd like to read more of your stories. Keep posting and have fun writing!

-Sarah
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