This is such a sweet and lovely little poem. Flowers do have a certain, delicate beauty of their own. To me, flowers also bring a sense of renewal throughout the seasons. At least they do to me!
I'll provide a small example. A few years ago, my mum's garden was overgrown with rather a lot of tough old weeds. But somehow growing through the weeds, were bluebells. This particular flower is a favourite of mine.
Mum got someone in to do the garden and both weeds and bluebells were gotten rid of. The next year, the bluebells didn't grow. I felt a bit despondent about that.
But the year after, the bluebells once more grew in the back garden. And my sense of renewal came right back.
All flowers I believe have meanings and a language all of their own!
Weeeeell, I'm interested. Is this a fantasy type novel? If so, please do let me know and I'll try and review what you upload here on WDC.
I do have a few questions though.
It looks like you've done some research for the basic plot outline.
1) Did you base the Cyprian Order on historical religious orders that have been known to exis throughout the century. The Scabbard of the yprian Order sounds like a male role, perhaps based on the Knights Templar? Sorry for asking this, I'm really interested in what you can do with this. It has so much potential and I cannot wait to see what you do with it.
2) Is there a way for the spirit of the Essence Queen to let someone know a viable successor is out there when it is time for the ancient spirit to make a jump to a new female host? That would be great to read. A seer/oracle born somewhere who has the gift of being able to sense the future hosts of the ageless spirit of the Essence Queen.
3) Also, perhaps expand on the Cyprian Order. Are there other ranks beside the Scabbard. Knights perhaps called 'Shields' who protect both the Essence Queen and the Scabbard?
Hello Paige and welcome to WDC! Your chapter popped up in the random review rewards and I decided to review this. First all, you've gotten a hold on the WritingML language just fine. I've been here two years and still have trouble!
The premise of this is rather good. I do love stories/novels where humanity faces a disaster and manages to overcome it. I did see a few errors, but those were minor. This has promise. If you plan on postimg more chapters to this, please let me know. I'll definitely read them.
Welcome to WDC Aesop. Thank you posting this piece of silliness. I've always wondered if anyone had ever written stories about alpacas. Guess you've answered that question. Well done on such a fine upload. I'm still laughing as I type this review. I also slightly envy you. You can write comedic stories, unlike myself!
Thanks for taking the time and having the patience to meticulously craft such an informative and quite frankly, interesting article. I've been reading various books on writing, but this seems more concise. I do highly recommend the lesson about listening to various conversations around you.
I work in a shop so this is rather helpful. Plus the myriad links you've posted are fantastic. Consider this article on my favourites list!
WEll done on such a fine first upload. This short fiction is so darn creepy! The description of the woman at the bus stop, late at night....
Sheer perfection. As for the homeless person, once you've read the part at the end about the gruesome smile being the last thing visble. Brilliant. Imagination also plays a part when you read the imagery.
What a beautiful image, especially for the 'Mystical' Merit badge? Is this for a fantasy or spiritual group or activity. This image seems magical and rather fantastic. Two questions though:
1) Where did you find such a beautiful image.
2) If you made it, how much would it cost to BUY one?
Ths really made me laugh as I read it. Strong perfumes and soap set me off, I have to steer clear of them unfortunately. Over here in England, there is a chain of stores called 'Lush', they make homemade soaps etc.
I have to hold my nose, try not to breathe as I rush past! I gave 5* as you are ale to poke fun at your allergies! Well done!
Ooo, mythology monologue! I like the points, valid ones you've raised too. I find it rather amazing there are variations of most of the legenday creatures I've read and studied about. Such as the dragon, look at chinese, japanese and Western mythology.
It is well written and a monologue I had pleasure reading. You want to know my favourite part:
'Think about that before you brush off those legends as mere fantasy.'
I do believe dragons and other such wonderful creatures exist somewhere. I mean the world is so large, we haven't managed to explore all of it.
Great upload here! You are correct. We have to create happiness in our lives. Sometimes it finds us, but most of the time, we are the ones who have to make that happen. My favourite part was:
It's rainy nights spent curled under the blankets with a good book.
It's continuous hours listening to mellifluous songs that touch your soul.
I do these two all the time, plus read some fanfictions that have been created by other writers based on my all time favourite movies, books and games!
This actually made me laugh as I read through it. Don't you think these titles are a ploy by management to make the staff feel more at ease and happy with their job by rewarding them with a long and convoluted title? If my boss did this to me, I'd tell him where to shove that idea and ask for a raise instead!
Another good thing about this list. It is perfect material for budding novellists and those who are completely bonkers, who undertake NaNo THREE times a year!
After reading this post, I do believe in the saying. I have a very old and bad habit! Going shopping when I should really save money! I've learned to budget and it is actully quite interesting! Also doing a writing course keeps me distracted from going shopping. So the advice of your guitar teacher and yourself has been quite beneficial. Thanks for teaching me a valuable lesson. Or three.
I might just read the rest of the your blog to learn something else!
This amazing set of verses here, without using the more common words associated with autumn must have been quite a challenge. You've perfectly described the fall season, I believe Americans call it. When nature prepares to wind down, well mostly, for a rest. This can also reflect upon the state of mind of a person as well. Perhaps contemplation for a human, as autumn seems to be a restful state for nature.
Even though this is just the synopsis, I am very interested in this novel. I take it Captain Darius has a past he'd rather keep hidden? Was he a pirate or did something occur that he would rather keep secret. Gods and demons indicates magic. So far this sounds great. If you ever update, please let me know.
What a poignant and fitting way to remember your feline companion Venus. To me, after reading this lovely crafted poem, Venus seemed to be a rather cheeky, yet charming cat.
Also a very friendly one from the images that flowed through my mind as I read through the verses. Is the very beautiful cat in the picture Venus? This is indeed, a very fitting tribute to your lost companion Venus.
I nreally do love this poem. This describes perfectly what my furball Gozmo gets upto at night, when she isn't sleeping on me! I swear she goes to a secret world just like the one you've described here! I do have one opinion though, I think this will work well as a picture book, with images to accompany the verses.
This has a lot of promise and strongly reminded me of another children's poem:
This is one amazing story you have crafted here. My first upload didn't even come close to this. You obviously have talent with writing and it clearly shows in the imagery you have used to give the reader a clear image of the young girl, the snowy forest and her painful, broken ankle.
I especially liked the blackbird! He appeared to be a little, rather cheeky fellow who helped the girl in his own particular way. Did you do research into the magical and mystical meanings of the blackbird before you wrote this story?
This is exactly how I feel inspiration can hit a writer or other such creative individual! This is exactly how I visualize inspiration flowing from the deepest recesses of the soul. I find myself to be slightly envious that the muse providing you with the capability to craft such poetry is quite a gifted one. Nope, it is you that has the talent for poetry!
My skills for poetry are quite limited. The last poem I wrote was about, ahem wind! I won't mention that anymore!
Did you write this in mind of looking at the past of your family with delight in mind? My brother has become quite the family genealogist. What you've written down here definitely reminds me of the pleasure my younger brother displayed whenever he shows the rest of some old photographs of previous generations of our family he has managed to unearth!
Wow! You've crafted an amazing set of verses here. Best of all, dragons are mentioned! I've always thought dragons are noble creatures, seeking to teach humans through words!
Perhaps you are a dragon in disguise attempting to teach us mortal writers a thing or two! Anyway, the imagery was brilliant! I now have a picture of an enormous dragon hunched over a computer keyboard!
Children would really love this I think. As I read through it I was reminded of 'Room on the Broom', yet this poem has a style all of its own. It is very catchy, flows very well. The rhymes interspersed throughout the entirety of the verses are enchanting enough for young children and adults alike.
Ever thought of extending this into a book for young kids. Yet this poem is also bittersweet, the part at the very end, that all of us have to grow up sometime! Even when we don't wish to do so.
Wow, I wondered who did all the Jane Austen stuff and group related items here on WDC! Didn't realize it was you. I can see you are passionate about Jane Austen. I admit her books are fantastic. You seem to know more about Jane Austen than I do. Just one question, have you written any fanfictions based on Jane Austen's work?
If you have, I'd like to read a few. Just read through your newsletter, you have. I'll make a point to check that out later.
Congratulations on a fine, well written upload here on WDC. I see you joined a day or so ago and here you've produced this fine effort. The magic system is one I haven't seen before, splitting a soul to trigger a magical gift.
You've obviously spent time on this, a sense of world building is evident. I could see that as I read through the chapter. Plus did you do research for different types of tribal societies to create the one shown here?
Is a Duniya an Earth Elemental or just a name for the type of Soul Splitter Talasi is? Plus if you are creating a unique language for what seems to be a novel, will there be explanations as the novel develops? Sorry for the questions, I feel this book will be a great read!
Well done on uploading such a great piece for a new member. Why this only received only 3 and a half stars is beyond me, but I was hooked when I read the Author's Note at the very beginning. Well done on taking up the call of a novel began years ago. You've put a lot of thought into this and I am looking forward to how you'll develop this!
Well done and welcome to WDC!
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