How do you do it , you get me on the edge of my seat to read this I think you should make a much larger book out of this begining. I hope you consider doing this because then you might get much more reviews. You should make more of these kind of little action adventure short stories.
It is very good I have nothing I think you need to improve on but I think you should not put your name at the end, I think this because that makes it look more professional.Thank you for sharing your wonderful poetry with writing.com.
Forever Alone? I like the poem but it makes me sad. I imagine all the people who don't get beds but I notice they don't have enough comfort to feel sad they just go to sleep with one thing in their mind, I want a bed. Also do you write about happy things or do you write about how peoples life's suck.
Uncles are very fun to have.also who would notice somebody that has bushy eyebrow. Also I know how you feel, but some people don't have uncles so they wouldn't feel that way. Also not every poem rhymes or makes sense but this one does. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I think it is funny that she needed scissors but the got A knife instead. Also I get it how the girls have new boyfriends every month that is like every girl pretty much. Also wouldn't the sister not care that one didn't open her present yet. this is fiction by far, that would never happen.
This is a great story which only has less than 200 words. I think you should make a much larger story and use this beginning also. You could attract many readers with the first paragraph so the would be interested. as you know the first sentence is the sentence that pulls people to read it and you could pull everybody in with this beggining
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