I love love love this poem. It flows nicely and obvious it's from the heart. It's REAL. In your face. This is reality. I've had my experience with addiction. You nailed it. You have manged to create art that tells the addicts reality. Well done. You could tighten it up in some areas, maybe put in comma's or dashes to show the reader when to pause but really it's a 5. No doubt.
I'm fairly new here. Never written a short story before but I am working on one that I will be entering in the same contest. Your story kept my attention until the very end. I have to admit that is a hard thing to do with me and my tiny attention span. Looks like I'm up against some tough competition here! Very cute story. Thoroughly enjoyed reading. You did a fine job on this.
I really like this poem. I really like the message behind the poem. "I won't be chained to something, that doesn't even exist anymore" LOVE. IT. The ending is positive and so profound. I'm not reviewing for any points or contests. I just saw the caption on your poem and it caught my attention. As I also have been "broken"... it's almost as if you reached inside of me and took the words I never could find. It's obvious this was written from the heart and most likely from a experience similar to what I have had.. except for me... " I won't be chained to something that never really did exist outside of my head"... Keep up the good work. You have inspired me with your words.
Wow! This poem is awesome. It really hit me especially the lines "like all at once you had forgotten, how you fit inside your skin, for the storm had grabbed your soul and shaken everything within"... just wow! This one's going to go far... run with it :)
I enjoyed reading this. It's interesting in that I relate to the fallen angel and the extremes in his desires, for example: revenge and redemption, love and hate. For some strange reason, I found that comforting. I like the excellent descriptions in the beginning.
The poem flows very well until about half way through. I get the impression that perhaps the writer ran out of gas and/or perhaps threw the ending together quickly. I could be wrong. Just simply the vibe I picked up. I have spent time contemplating the ending, reading about "legion" and trying to understand. Perhaps my pondering will continue. Perhaps it is to profound for my shallow reflections.
I do like your style of writing. I searched "spiritual" and found myself exploring your portfolio. I appreciate your spiritual connection to your writing.
This is adorable. I've read over a few times and with each passing, the words seem to dive deeper and hit a little harder. I can't help but respect and admire the genuine overall message I hear of beauty isn't just skin deep, Love the "plastic people" reference, I can picture those frozen plastic smiles and lifeless shallow eyes... and "white bread ways" certainly has my mind pondering. So powerful --- The line " attracted to her beauty but fell hard for her essence" -- a dynamic statement bringing to life the quality of your wife and the value you give to "nobility"
Profound writing with many messages for the reader to contemplate. Flows well and packed with passion. Honors the principles that I find desirable. I enjoyed and will return again to your portfolio.
~Beauty
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/beauty4ashes77
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 11:03pm on May 10, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
