Nice word usage and wonderful meter and rhyme into the interior of the poem. Then it breaks smoothly for a line. It is about the field psychology but the undertones make it very personal. It’s an outstanding poem.
Ms. Populatery
I like the story idea. You write really well for your age. Please, please, please keep up the good work. You will no doubt achieve all you want if you keep being creative and writing it down. The world need that to happen.
Alexi,
As you have found the finer ground, your roots grew deep; nurtured by the word.
And after living the word, you have born a great multitude of fruit. Thank you for the Gospel lesson. God Bless.
I think you have captured your devotion to the Lord. It’s intense, but I feel like it needs some refinement. I know the difficulty in trying to capture such complex emotions. I wish that I could give you something useful you could use. Perhaps in your future edits you can soften the edges and dismiss anything that takes away from the heart of the piece.
This is a nice piece of art. It makes me think of social decay; as if all poetry were replaced with trivia from a beer napkin. I guess I don’t help because I can never recall what tense I’m speaking in, or should be speaking in. And oh boy is my grammar scary.
It makes me think, and I can use that. Nice poem!
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