Short and sweet, I can pretty much get everything of the verse coz I'm going through a soul searching phase myself,and yeah the last two lines "As I watch my life go floating by hat does it mean to be me", they so totally sum up everything you wanna say.
Very nice, I really like writing on mythical creatures too (though I really like treating them as evil). The story's very aptly named too, "Curse of a Serpent", just brilliant. It was a good read and I can't really find anything to crticize. Maybe you could've centred the *** to make the separation more prominent
Beautiful, I'm taking the change in lines indicate break in flow. In that case it's wonderful. Only part I don't understand is why you didn't end the poem on
Alone
on
Thanksgiving.
I'm not saying the continuation is bad or anything, it just would have nice if you ended there
Whoah!!!!!!!! I had no idea there are so less of us guys on writing.com, it's a good poll, you should plug it in where you can, until some 300 people vote you can't know for sure if guys don't write (I can assure you some of us do) or just didn't have time to vote yet.
Beautiful, I often wonder the very question you pose. Maybe I'm really rating your work primarily on the selected topic but the poem is also very well written. Increasing the lines of the verses adds effect although i guess you could have made it more ascending.
Sorry man, just didn't work for me. Here's what the madlib read for me:
Hi. My name is Lola.
Some people say I am gracious under guitar
I am 10. This means that I am at the summer of my life.
I have often been called an oak in grades.
I some people think I have been blessed with green
Sometimes i get stuck on my schoolwork, but soon I am chestnut
Does this make sense, don't think so. Anyway it's nice of you to try, 'cause madlibs are very hard to do. Keep working though, I'm sure you'll get it
A wonderful idea, its just what casual writers need to practice their writing. I'll probably be posting an entry every chance I get. I know its not much, but I'd like to donate a bit for you to keep this contest going for a long time.
Best Wishes
Desperado
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