*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/blackjynx
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Blackjynx
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Roselyn,

Just want to say how much this poem resonated with me as I have conditions too & I’m extremely familiar with asd also, so I understand the stigma regarding ‘invisible conditions’. That said, I felt that the way you portrayed your feelings & confusion at the start of a day was excellent. There’s no element of ‘poor me’, for example, the poem shows it’s reality in staccato form which allows for an insight for the reader, but also how harsh it is & the short sentences are like bullets, forcing the reader to compare their start of the day to the poets.

I definitely identified with the ideal of ideas flitting through my mind to be forgotten if I don’t write them down! The feelings of chaos described days extremely well, however the last line of verse 4 broke the short & sharp lines, which to me felt slightly too long. Perhaps dividing it up to fit the previous form. Although I understand that this would be difficult and wouldn’t have such an effect on the reader as the frustration shows through that line. It also breaks the rhythm and draws attention to the poets frustration without going into massive detail.

Overall I enjoyed this poem immensely and I felt I could resonate with it as my days pretty much start like the one depicted in the poem! The reality of being bipolar is expressed so well throughout the poem that it draws the reader in & shows them how the poet feels each day rather than telling them. You’ve shown a real side to a condition that most people won’t have to deal with.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/blackjynx