This poem has great content matter. It describes your granddaughter and the tone of the poem is your pride in her. It makes me smile and I am happy that you have a granddaughter that you love and enjoy. The poem really invokes the innocence and youth of the child. Thank you for writing this!
This a truly an amazing poem. It displays your connection with the moon, in the sense that you are invisible to the sleeping, are travelers and are nocturnal. The first stanza is my favorite because it is interesting to think of the moon as a traveler, because it really does seem to move and watch over the different places. This is a really great personification and also you have a great use of diction. Thank you for sharing this!
This is a truly depressing and moving poem that tells the tale of a woman lost in the horrible history of slavery. Your diction creates a mood of sadness and tiredness with phrases like "body broken" and "hurting and bowed". I especially like the line "Praise God! What a blessing" because you used the exclamation point to draw attention to her appreciation of her children that were later taken away. Thank for writing this. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
I think this is interesting because usually when a father doesn't sleep at home it means he isn't being a good father and is partaking in undesirable activities, but in this poem the dad was a great figure who left the house and slept elsewhere so the children would have a place to sleep. I like the end of the poem and the deconstruction of the earlier line. The imagery really sets a peaceful scene in which a man sacrifices. For instance, I think "half-charred" and "pointed antler" are very strong descriptions. Thank you for sharing this! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
This is a sad poem about the disappearance of a horse in your life. I do not have a horse myself but I know the connection one can form with animals. I like the question that you begin with because it draws the reader in. The rhyming helps the flow of the poem. Thank you for sharing it!
I think this a really sweet and playful poem. It creates a playful mood and makes me want to just dance any way I want to, but it isn't about dancing really but more about love that makes your soul want to dance. The diction is thrilling with phrases and words like "Lovesongs long forgotten", "flighty birds", and "sweet memory". I think there should be a space between love and songs though, I don't think it is one word. But if you like it that way, then go for it! Thank you for sharing this poem!
This is a great limerick. It is very original and well written as well as humorous. I think Vermont though has to be pronounced differently to rhyme with fondant but it works out great, which is original on your part to use it in the limerick. Thank you for sharing this!
I love how you wrote a sonnet about sonnets: very ironic and original. I think the last line is amazing and comments on the subject of many sonnets. THe rhyming is great and I do not see any grammatical errors. Thank you so much for writing this. I am glad I got to read it!
This awakened by to the phenomena that is the blue moon. Thank you for sharing this information. There has been quite of bit of unusual activity lately- how lucky we all would be if we could all see it. There is irony in the fact that you took the time to see it but you couldn't while others in more clear places may have ignored it. I am sorry you were not able to see it and I hope that at some point and time you might be somewhere clear enough that you get to see something spectacular in the sky!
This is a great poem. The content is something many can relate to which is trying to recover from a first love. I like your repetition of the word "maybe". I don't see any grammatical errors, which is impressive. I just wonder if "maybe when our hands touch" would be more flowing than "Maybe, when your hand brushes mine", but this is merely one possible suggestion for a great poem.
I find this inspiring. If God is the begining and the end, where is he in the now? The exclamaiton in the title is a good idea!! The last line looks likes it may have a grammatical error, like something needsto be between you and GOD. Thanks for sharing this!
The ending is great! The character cannot get to the source of the sound because it is within but continue sto destory his belongings and in essence self-destruct to determine the source. It sort of reminds me of the short story "The Yellow Wall Paper". This is something many people can relate to: living on your own (truly for the first time- dorm life is different), the frustation from not knowing something, and that darn sound that you can never figure out what it is coming from. If you want mor eyou could have the person think the sound is a cricket that he hurts himself trying to catch. Thanks for sharing!!
I think the strength in this writing lies is the phrase "If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older", and this is a task that is difficult because it is so easy to let go of youth. Also, it displays an amazing connection between granddaughters and grandmothers in such few words. Some phrases could be condensed to flow better, for instance you could get rid of "teenage sisters". However I think you did a great job and thanks for sharing
I know this might seem odd, and your poem is much more than format, but I think I would like it better if it was not in bold and was in black, however this is simply my preference. It has a great message about continuing to fight instead of taking the easy way out and using "bitter pills". I know that even though my own mother told me life isn't fair, I too have the urge to "be a quitter". But your poem gives the insight that if you try to be happy, life will become easier. The diction used in the phrase "dare not let yourself wallow" is really quite great. Thanks for sharing this especially because it includes hard aspects of life such as work and suffering from death of a loved one that many people feel depression and sadness over. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
I love the idea that the mockingbird needs other birds to feel completed. It takes it literally that the bird needs someone to mock but also it is a metaphor for humans because we need to be social. I also like the onomatopoeia of the bird sounds, and think that those stanzas are the best. Great Job!
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