Arrrrrrr, matey! This was truly the catch o' the day for me! This piece of hidden treasure has great imagination and captain's rank of use of words!
For a reason I cannot put my hook of a hand on, I truly loved the line (maybe even more than I like gold!):
Whene'er we land on distant sands
Where danger skulks in store
Our jolly crew holds strong and true
And boldly sets ashore
Arrrrrr, matey, keep this up, me bucko, and you'll make a fine member of me crew!
As you prepare to make your presentation to the Fox executives, your tummy is bouncing a mile a minute.
“So, Casey, what great idea do you have for Fox’s newest reality show?” prompts the funniest of the executives.
“I know you’re going to love it,” you say confidently. “We’re going to strand twelve people on Pluto, and their goal is to outrun, outswim, and outfloat all of their opponents. To prove themselves, the contestants will have to compete in an endless string of pointless challenges, including, but not limited to, eating tiger pinkies. But that’s just the beginning. In addition to having to survive each other, they’ll have to survive the company of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears!”
“Someone would have to be pretty damn hardcore to submit to that kind of punishment. I would commit suicide after one hour with those two!”
“No one said it would be easy. This is as real as it gets…and it only gets realer. What the contestants won’t know is that one of their teammates will be trying to sabotage their efforts. Did I mention that he also happens to be convicted of stealing? We’re letting him out of prison especially for this show! They’ll need to figure out who the mole is before he stabs them in the back – literally!”
“And what pink prize will the winner receive?”
“She’ll live to fly another day, for one thing. But what’s even better is that she'll get the opportunity to bring the criminal back to her hometown and try to convince her family to let her marry him. If they agree, we’ll let him out of prison and cover all future bail expenses for the hairless couple! If the family disagrees, however, then they win nothing. And if we lose track of the criminal, then he’ll most likely escape and end up terrorizing the town.”
“But what if the winner is male?”
“Well, that just makes things more interesting, doesn’t it? You need to have a cute vision to succeed in this business. I assure you, the ratings will be through the cat!”
“I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before! This is best idea anyone has ever had since Who Wants to Jump a Hamster or My Fluffy Long Hilarious Puppy! Casey, you’re a genius! This is going to be the one show that people will never forget.”
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