Once upon a time there was a secret. Everyday, the man would take it out and look at it, trying to decipher what it was. One day, the secret whispered the truth to him. Because of that, he tucked the secret away and never spoke again. Until finally, on his death-bed, he gave the secret to his son.
I liked this poem. The medieval theme was nice, and the language you used conveyed the theme well. There were a few errors, for example you wrote thrown instead of throne and there should be an apostrophe in let's, but these were minor. I don't know a huge amount about the technique side of poetry (rhyme scheme etc.) but it mostly flowed well, however there were a few places where maybe another word choice would make things smoother. Overall good poem, and an enjoyable read.
A very enjoyable piece. I like the idea of Santa Claus writing a letter to Jane Austen to tell her how much he likes her stories, its a nice shift from people writing to Santa for things. It really conveys what was going on in Jane Austen's life and is bittersweet considering she never did find her 'Mr Darcy', well not that we know of anyway, who knows :)
I enjoyed this story, space and vampires are a great combination :) I like the way you haven't just done a typical vampire hunter story, the addition of space travel and distant planets makes it more unique.
I only picked up on a few minor errors, I think in the first paragraph you meant to say sat rather than sit and in the next sentence you probably want to remove either her or the. Overall a great story, with good characterization.
A good excerpt, which leaves me wondering what will happen next. You have conveyed the wild west setting well, and I am also able to picture the characters. I did notice, that you are missing an apostrophe in phrase 'Palmer's gunslingers'. A little bit of rewriting might be helpful to make some of the sentences flow smoother, but overall it was well-written and enjoyable to read.
I enjoyed your story. The setting was well-described and atmospheric, and the danger the character was in was effectively conveyed. I only noticed a couple of errors, there was one place where you didn't capitalize the s in swamp and the word barely is also spelled as barley in the last paragraph. It also seems to indicate in your first paragraph that this was the first time he had been through the swamp, whereas in the second paragraph, it says he knows the road well. Aside from these minor inconsistencies, it was overall a very good story, with a well-defined sense of suspense.
I really enjoyed this story. It was able to convey a lot of information in only a few words. It sounds like an interesting premise, and I feel like its an idea you could expand into a larger narrative, but it still does work well in this shorter format. The characterization was good - it really conveyed the callousness of their attitudes towards human life, and provided insight into their motives and personalities.
I enjoyed your story. The characterization was good, each character was pretty well fleshed out and I was able to picture them easily. I also enjoyed the premise of the story, it was amusing and flowed well. As a law student, I also appreciated your use of contract loopholes to save the characters. The only thing I can really think of to critique, is that perhaps there are a few missing commas, but that's something you can read through and decide for yourself. Overall, a good story and an interesting read.
I thought your story was very enjoyable.
I liked the way that you linked the mysterious woman with the package by having the woman wear brown and making wrapping paper brown.
Your story was also descriptive and I liked your ending.
Overall a cool story.
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