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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cbrookbank423
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15 Public Reviews Given
35 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Ghost of life  
Review by youngwriter
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall: This was a good story. The end went to fast. I think you should say what happened after she found out that he was an angel sent from heaven. I loved the idea though. But you should expand on it.

Setting: You described the surroundings a lot.

Charactors: The main charactor's feelings at the end should be expressed. I liked the other charactors too.

Spelling/Grammer: Perfect.

Nice story line. Hope this helps you.
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Review by youngwriter
Rated: E | (4.0)
First let me start by saying this sounds like a great idea, especially since nowadays movies based on books are becoming really common.

Things I liked: Good introduction. You added the website in. And you kept it simple.

Improvements: Add color! If you added color to the catagory titles such as why and who the readers would be able to skim faster.

I hope this helps.
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Review of What Dead Means  
Review by youngwriter
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Overall: This was the best poems I've read in a long time. You have a sort of unique ingeniousness that makes you a good author. It's amazing how you can go from grass to death. I don't know anyone that could do that!

Voice: Original. Loved it.

Grammer/Spelling: Perfect.

Improvements: Unfortunately none. :}

I enjoyed reading an interesting view of explaining death. Keep it up!
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Review by youngwriter
Rated: E | (3.5)
My comments: I think your poem needs some little adjustments. It flows but the ending "my love" is too repeditive and distracts the reader. Also, I didn't really feel what you were trying to express so maybe you could use some stronger words of feeling and emotion. Otherwise you could build on to what you already have by gradually adding a story or by describing this man in detail. You have a good foundation, you just need to look over it some more.
DON'T GIVE UP! Romantic poems are tough but like I said you almost have it down.
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