This is such a fun writing challenge - 5 stars! Here's my entry:
Once upon a time there was a pirate queen who sailed through space with her merry crew, exploring the deep dark parts of the Milky Way, pillaging merchant ships and the ships of those who could afford to be pillaged at least once in their lifetime. She was fierce and proud, loyal only to the men and women of her ship, and loving only her her vessel Bathsheba that bore her through the cold void of space, and her first mate, the beautiful and deadly android Lilith. Everyday, the queen would lead the crew in a rousing shanty as Lilith navigated the ship while in warp drive, and every night, the queen would toast the crew through song, congratulating them on another successful day of pillaging and adventure. One day, the queen's mother popped her head in the room and told her that it was time for dinner and she needed to clear her toys away. Because of that, little Penelope had to hang up her pirate queen hat, put her space ship carefully away on its shelf and leave the room. Until finally, dinner was finished, and she was free to sail the seas of space once again!
I think this is quite a good piece. I like how Sandra immediately jumps to conclusions about what their grandad had been doing, while her sister has to act as the voice of reason; their dialogue at this part was really well done. I also like the twist at the end, it was a really pleasant surprise.
I would have liked to have read maybe some more twists before the sisters find out the truth, like they find other documents and pictures that maybe make them think that Sandra could be right, but then Val is proved right at the end.
I really like the feeling of this poem, it's so peaceful and relaxing. The lines "Beg your own forgiveness, And then grant it in one breath," are my favourite, and I think it's a really beautiful message. At first I thought this poem was about going to sleep, and then the last few lines cast everything in a completely different light, which I like.
I'm Irish and moved to the UK for work, and I absolutely love this poem - the imagery, vivid descriptions, and the local slang all bring back so many memories of home. I like how it starts and ends with Dingle, taking us on a journey around the country.
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