I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Days Gone By" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry.
Emotion/Imagery - The feelings, emotions are well reflected. I can feel the pain of the character as I read. Yeah, true. We do miss the things we have missed or haven't done in the past and we wish the days come back. The disappointment of not achieving it and the haunting truths coming back to hit the character is well expressed and is appreciable. Bravo! Sometimes reading something sad gives you satisfaction in different way adn your poem does the same thing to me now.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - I can see that you've used abcb..... rhyme scheme and the flow is perfect adn outstanding. Well done! You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"Lies spoken by friend and foe
have torn my world apart;
Leaving deep, unhealing scars
upon my soul and heart."
Yes, There's particular reason why these lines are my favorite.... Well, yes.. the same thing happened to me as well Overall it was an enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "2/14 (a.k.a. Cynic's Nightmare)" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. Ow! I love Valentine's Day. But the points that you have objected and noted in your poem are correct.
Emotion/Imagery - Creative and expressive indeed. The frustration definitely reaches to reader's heart and does explains the waste of money on the name of valentine's day. This day has lost it's main objective of feeling love and expressing it in real manner; rather this has become moreover a reason to buy gifts and spend money. Spending money and playing with the feelings of some genuine guy or a girl, who really loves you isn't good. It is seen that the love is only to get gifts, live lavish life and spend money and not to flourish the true bonding between them.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - An Acrostic form doesn't require any rhyme scheme and the flow is perfect. Congratulations! You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"Every year, it gets worse, and I question the worth of this "holiday".
Someone get this worthless event off the calendar!"
Overall it was fun, entertaining and enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Safe at First?" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry.
First Impression/Thoughts:
The emotions and thougth is well delivered in those few words. It made me laugh at end. Well! Kids are Kids. Did he got hurt? or had to face detention after that? I doubt that. Kids are so innocent. I love them.
Creativity/Impact:
The thought is well projected and creative. The readers would definitely find it interesting especially it is related to baseball. For sports lovers and Parents, this piece is highly recommended.
Plot/Content:
A kid playing his life's first baseball match with his brad new gloves and the innocence in well reflected through character.
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am here to read and enjoy and not to comment on technical faults. however I didn't find any grammar or punctuation errors. I am no expert to point out that.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
Overall it was fun, entertaining and enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Paint and Painters" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. I am glad to say that it is different, innovative and creative kind of combination that you have put hrough your poem. I was fully engrossed in your poem and could see myself painting and colouring and getting dirty in colours. I chose your poem to review because I like painting. It i sone of my hobbies that I do spart from writing. Of course writing is on the top.
Emotion/Imagery - Your emotions conveyed message by painting a picture in your readers heart. The imagination was very thoughtful and feels joy while reading. Bravo!
Rhyme/Form/Flow - Th flow of the poem is perfect and rhymes aabb.... form. You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"It’s difficult work that you don’t often do,
But repetition will see you through!"
Overall it was fun, entertaining and enlightening read. Well, take into consideration any form of art; whether it is painting, writing or dancing, it is difficult initially but going through the outcome gives you satisfaction. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Ode to a Tortured Soul" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. It doesn't seem that poetry is not your forte. You did it pretty well. The feelings and emotional outburst can be seen. My Blessings for your sister. May she rests in peace. I can see that you have written this poem long time ago, however. I sincerely feel it is great tribute to someone as close.
Emotion/Imagery - The craving for the void created due to your sister's absence around, is well expressed and the way she gets her first two blessings puts life into your poem. The journey of your sister is mentioned very well.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - This is a free verse poem and requires no rhymes. The flow of your poem is very good and grabs readers attention from start to end.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"Then a bright blessing came to join her first two blessings,
and he became her wonderful spouse."
Overall it was an enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Weapon's Weavings" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. This is indeed different form of poem and new to me that caught my eye.
Emotion/Imagery - Well expressed and handled poem. It does grabs readers attention with the clever use of words. The way you played with the words is appreciable. Bravo!
Rhyme/Form/Flow - An Alliterisen form of poem is well managed. You did use connected words at start of each line. Flow was good. You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. I believe this is new form of poem hence a brief author's not eat last would be helpful. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "For Stacy" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. Well! I can see that it is for Stacy's birthday. She must have got a great gift from you and she must be overwhelmed to find this. I like the way you mentioned WDC in your poem.
Emotion/Imagery - Expressive indeed and considerate. You did great job. Bravo! It was fun to read.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - This is an Acrostic form of poem and requires no rhymes. A well managed form with proper flow to it.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"Never tiring and always seeking"
Overall it was fun, entertaining and enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Eli; Son of Archie, Brother of Peyton" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. Yes I feel like I am genius but not misplaced
Emotion/Imagery - The poem is very contemplative and painstaking. You did a great job. Bravo!
Rhyme/Form/Flow - This is a free verse form of a poem and does not require rhymes. Flow was very well managed. But I didn't find it interesting enough. Well, This is entirely what I feel. I may be wrong. I am no expert to judge. But yes this was an inspirational piece indefinitely.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"calculated grace
that led you
from the shadows
and into the spotlight."
Overall it was inspirational and enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Frozen Desires" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. Oh! I have no words the way you have narrated the feelings. Only a very well settled writer can write this good.
Emotion/Imagery - The poem was very emotional and tragic. I appreciate your innovative thinking. Bravo!
Rhyme/Form/Flow - I see that you've used aaac..... rhyme scheme and flow is perfect. Hearty congratulations! You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy other author's work for this week and trust me I am learning and enjoying.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"The wind howls through trees
To which cling brown leaves,
That break as they freeze
Crumbling to dust."
Overall it was representative and illuminating read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Finally Free" for WDC 13th Birthday Review Contest entry. You did great job in reciting beautiful poem with so much meaning to it. It reminds me of "Nicholas Sparks novels". The sad romance/love stories. I was moved by the story you made me visualize. You have so much power in your words to hold your readers read your art till the end.
Emotion/Imagery - Beautifully draft and expressive poem. The poem explains well of a romance/love story. I like romantic things and romantic emotional is even better. The more you get hurt in love the more you feel better. Bravo!
Rhyme/Form/Flow - I can see that you've used abab..... rhyme scheme and flow is perfect. Congratulations! You did great job.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any errors in punctuation and grammar errors. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert. I am here just to read and enjoy.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"But that day came a letter in the postal mail,
The words he read made his heart wail."
"What right did she have, to write after all these years?
Once again he felt his eyes flood over with tears."
Overall it was enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am jyoti. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Christmas in Florids" for WDC 13th Birthday Contest. It feels Christmas is near though it is not. Must be Christmas joy when you wrote that
Emotion/Imagery - Feelings of christmas approaching near and planning it is very well expressed and is appreciable. Bravo! Santa.. gifts.. who doesn't want that??
Rhyme/Form/Flow - It is free verse form of a poem that expresses christmad joy well and how it is different in florida. Flow is good. It does grab readers attention.
Grammar/Punctuation - I didn't find any punctuation or grammar errors to point out. However this is just my opinion. I am no expert and here only to read and enjoy other author's work.
Corrections - There's only one this what I feel should be correct and that is "family'll" ti "family will"
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"We only need one blanket
To snuggle in our beds"
Well I like those lines because I like to sleep in cold nights and have some coffee to pass the time.
Overall it was an entertaining and joy to read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I am Jyoti.It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Golf Links" for 13th Birthday Review Contest. Gah! I wanna play golf now. Bravo!
First Impression/Thoughts:
You did a great job in expressing a sports game into poetic words.I loved the way you started your poem "A tee time...". I am sure you must had a great sporty day when you wrote that poem
Creativity/Impact:
Yeah! a very innovative poem and creative too. A non-fiction is creative indeed. It does make readers feel like going to golf ground and play on or two long shots.
Plot/Content:
I appreciate your efforts in writing such a lovely poem. You expressed very well the way the golf player start their day and with their routine game play. Golf ground is well explained and make me imagine as if I am standing on golf ground
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am no expert and not a technical person to judge this part. I am reader and I like reading new poetry's. However I didn't find any grammar or puntuation errors.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
It was enlightening read and joyful too. Sports is always joyous.. no matter what. I will rate this a 3.5 star. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
I found your work very breathtaking and brain relaxing. Bravo! Its my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Meditation".
Emotion/Imagery - You have so much power with words. Its very pictorial. I can imagine as I read and yes it does relaxes you while reading. A good exercise while reading it. I am glad I reviewed your work and you gave me opportunity to do so. I was so tired of reviewing continuously and this piece of work came in my front and I feel sated.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - This poem is more of a free verse form and doesn't require any rhymes to follow. Very well managed.
Grammar/Punctuation - No errors.
Favorite Line/Stanza -
"I gently cleared away the worries and responsibilities
that tried to force their way into my thoughts. "
I am not much of a technical person and No expert. But I don't see any grammar error or punctuation errors. I feel it's great.
Overall it was enlightening and peaceful to read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Basset Hound in Venice"
First Impression/Thoughts:
This was too short poem to review. Generally a content this short is difficult to judge. But you processed your thoughts very well. It is appreciated.
Creativity/Impact:
Very imaginative. It requires power of words to deliver the thought in such short content. And you did it well.
Plot/Content:
The plot your story covers about the character who is always pleading for money and dependent. Well, what to say we do have friends like that sometimes.
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am no expert and technical person to judge. However I do not feel any grammatical errors into this. I just wanted to give you honest responsive, no other alternative motive.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
I would rate this a 3.5. star. It was short, entertaining and illuminating to read.
It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Oh No! What Do I Do?".
Emotion/Imagery - Certainly very thoughtful and imaginery. You did a great job in delivering the helpleass condition when landlord throws you out and you are left with no option. The fear in heart and the anxiety is well expressed. I appreciate that.
Rhyme/Form/Flow - Well! This is a more of a free verse form. While reading first two lines I felt it follows aabb... rhyme scheme. But then I realized its a free verse. No problems. Even free verse poems deliver the same meaning the rhymes does.
Grammar/Punctuation - No error
Poetic Devices -None.
Favorite Line/Stanza - "A homeless shelter became my only option"
Suggestions - In my opinion if you would have formatted the first line of the second stanza "Oh No Where Do I go?" ( as Do I Go? , as you did in other two) same as the rest ones then it would look more virtuous.
I am no expert. I just wanted to give you a honest response.
It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Grey world".
Why I chose your poem to review?
It the title that caught my eye. A different item to read. You did justice to the title. The title definitely illustrates the feelings very well.
Grammatical errors?
I didn't find any punctuation or grammar error though I feel formatting it to center and with grey colour would make it look more virtuous.
Content/Impact
A well written poem with a good thought and full of emotions. You have power to sway the readers into your world with your words.
Overall rating:
I would rate your work 3.5 stars. It was an enlightening read.
I am no expert. I just wanted to give an honest feedback.
It is my pleasure to read and comment on your work "Independence day"
You have established a great poem with great title. You rose all the patriotic feelings in my heart. Bravo
Well a free verse poem doesn't requires any rhyming scheme and it feels like a story to read. however you made me stop and read each line with a great meaning to it.
Overall I find this very joy and enlightening read. Even my blood boils after reading that part.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to review, comment and rate your work "Montuno" .
I am not an technical expert however I'll give you my honest feedback.
Overall Impression:
A very unusual thought to cover into the poem and reach to readers mind. it's different but in a good way. I found it an enlightening and joy to read
Suggestions:
In my opinion, the line"Kla-Kla-Kla" if you put it in Italics it would be more visually effective.
Summary and rating:
An Unusual poem with feelings conveyed to the reader and reach to their heart.
Bravo! I am blessed to read and comment on you work "Glimpse".
First Impression/thoughts:
I am impressed with the thought that you have put through your poem. I would suggest to add a few more lines to it so that it looks complete while reading it.
Creativity/Impact:
Creative indeed. You have successfully covered a vision of past to present through your poem and I can see the way you want your readers to see. Well, no rhyming scheme was used more of a free verse type but it delivers its meaning.
Plot/Content:
As I said before it looks incomplete to me. May be that's just my point of view. Just wanted to give you a honest feedback.
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am not a technical person. However I'm impressed! You've done great.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
This was an enlightening read. Your efforts did a great success to you. Thanks a lot for sharing your talent with me today.
Well! I stopped at your poem while a random review because even I have written poem with same topic. So was intrigued what's in here. I am glad its different. You've written quite effectively.
I found your work very heart touching and emotional. Bravo! Its my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Broken".
First Impression/thoughts:
Literally! you've made me cry. You have so much power with words and the rhyming scheme aabbccddd... I liked..
Creativity:
You have succeessfully covered what your heart means to say. Its very pictorial. I can imagine as I read and yes it does gives a sorrow. I feel the same pain with what you have written.
Plot/Impact:
Bravo! you've caught correct vein that goes straight to reader's heart. You've accomplished it. It's never easy to write a sad poem beacuse reader must feel what content and write wants to deliver.
Technique:
I am not much of a technical person. But I dont see any grammer error or puctuation errors. I feel it's great.
Overall rating/Final thoughts:
It is never joyous to read sad stories and poems but yes you did make me cry with your words. That covers everything.. the power you have. Overall it was enlightening read. thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
You have accomplished a great deal of fact here from what I understand. Though, it is entirely my pleasure to read and comment on your work "Love's Adventure".
First Impression/Thoughts:
No doubt your work is appreciative but while reading your work I did not feel connected. There was something missing. I was interested by the fact that it has a very strong title but it didn't last that long in the biography.
Creativity/Impact:
Yes, it is creative. To gather and put on paper the thoughts is definitely reflected in this work. I appreciate that.
Plot/Content:
Perfect! I didn't feel any thing unusual though. But was expecting more.
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am not much of a technical person however I feel that there are many punctuation errors and sentence case errors.
Ex- Glory to His name - His should be in small sentence case.
God to pastor I was thrown - There should be comma (,) after 'pastor'.
I knew said that anyone that commits suicide - It should be '....I knew said that anyone who commits suicide.....'
The only thing that kept me from following through was I was too scared - There should be semicolon (;) after '....through was ; I was....'
'With all this mind I look forward to lessons I will learn by entering the question to see how true' and 'Out of nowhere came the words; if me doing wrong gets me put in hell, does that mean if you do wrong you get to be put in heaven.' - There's something wrong with these sentences.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
This was an enlightening read. You did a great job. Thanks a lot for sharing your talent with me today.
Bravo! A very adult thought must say. I am blessed to read and comment on you work "Coffee". Now that has many meanings
First Impression/thoughts:
I was intrigued when I read the title of this poem. Its definitely perfect and won my heart. Obviously, Coffee! Who can stop it??
Creativity/Impact:
I loved the way you gave a thought beyond imagination and created two what looks like two -Coffee cups, mirror images of each other. Atleast that is what I see and colored them as well.
Plot/Content:
Mind Blowing! It covers everything and readers can take meaning as whatever they want and feel like. I must say clever buddy.
Technique/Technical Notes:
I am not a technical person. However I'm impressed! You've done great.
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
This was an enlightening read. Your efforts did a great success to you. Thanks a lot for sharing your talent with me today.
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Overall it was an enlightening read. Thanks for sharing your talent with me today.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
I have no words the way you have narrated the feelings. Only a very well settled writer can write this good.
