*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/charlielmo
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by charlielmo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There could be no better reading material for me than an ode to Douglas Adams, which this work seems to be. I enjoyed the interaction displayed in the dialogue between diplomats of differing species. It all sounded as if it could have been taken from the court of Louis XVI or the United Nations Security Council (substituting the fish with a shoe, of course).

The one thing that stands out for correction is the punctuation during dialogue transitions. I screw this up regularly myself. The punctuation belongs inside the quote, Do not use a period if you are continuing with a he said/she said rejoinder.
Example: "I thought you looked better with your eyebrows connected with a black marker line," he said. Comma inside the quotes and no period after "line". You have about five or six instances of doubled and misplaced punctuation throughout the piece. That's the only thing wrong from my point of view. It was a very interesting read. I look forward to reading more of your work.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/charlielmo