That is really beautiful and very sad at the same time. I feel so sorry for the subject and want to pull them away to a "lighter" path. This is very deep and emotional. I really like it.
Aundria this so beautiful, I cried. I read this to my husband who also was moved so deeply by it. The reader is brought into the raw emotion of the unknown soldier and it makes you cry for them. You have such a beautiful way with words and this is so appropriate for this holiday weekend.
There is nothing I can offer you for improvement because you can't improve on something that is already perfect.
I love this! So powerful with emotion and thought. It was easy for this reader to "feel" the inner and outer storms and visualize it. This is a great poem. I can't offer you anything to improve because it is already, so very good. Good job. Oh...and the title is perfect.
I love this! I was caught up in the story's beauty and place, only to be "jolted" like the dreamer back to reality when the book hit the floor. I love surprise endings and that's what really wrapped up this poem for me. It was unexpected. I'm not an expert on poetry so I couldn't offer any advice, but for me, it is really fabulous!
I really like this. As I read it, I could feel the bitter cold winter winds blowing. I could vision the evergreen in it's beautiful glory, standing next to a barren tree in it's winter slumber. I was very easily pulled into the scene. I never read your original version, but I really like this one. I tell everyone, I'm not a poet and don't know the first thing about writing poetry but I love reading it. This is good.
This is a wonderful story. I definitely felt like I was there and watching everything unfold. I could feel Darla's emotions, anxious to bring something to her father. It reminded me of moments with my sisters growing up I found myself giggling at the end with everyone else. Thanks so much for sharing this.
This is beautiful. I feel so blessed to stumble across your writing on this beautiful Easter morning, when I was already feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the treasures that life brings every day. I am always thankful for all the beauty that each day unfolds and for God who is always here with me. Thank you for sharing something so beautiful in thought, and so very well written.
I love this. I can feel the utter darkness this person is in. It made me panic, feeling like I have to reach out and help, to do whatever I can to pull this person out. Very strong emotion. Very well written.
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