You might want to change the spelling of waist to waste. Try adding a few more lines somewhere. Very good otherwise. If you want to keep the incorrect word spellings in your poem as an aspect of it then you might what to change the phrasing of your lines into something that will match the spelling. But keep that simple and not too much; you don't need to overdo it.
It's was really great. Keep up with the good work. I felt the narrator's desperation and sadness as I read this poem. I'm not sure if some of your spelling "new" (last stanza line 4) was intentional or not, but it's good anyway. Use the gift I'm giving you to keep your creative juices flowing.
I really enjoyed reading this piece. To me it's an inspirational piece. I like how you got two men rising from the depths of despair to find their calling, which so happens to be something as simple as cleaning. Some people may find cleaning jobs low ranking jobs, but for people like these two men it really is a life saver.
The only problem I have with this piece is that it so short. I would really like to read more about these two men. Did they become friends for the rest of their lives? What happened after their meeting?
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