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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/coldframe10
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69 Public Reviews Given
84 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Pennie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I hope there is more to this story. What treasures are in the table that would cause Grantham to kill for? I fell the ending is sudden. 2 typos: Para 10 should be 1920 and Para 13 name should be Maizee. With all this said, I enjoyed the short story. Kept up the good writing.
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Review by Pennie
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Tom.
Excuse me if I seem confused. but who are the monkeys? I don't think you mean the four legs type. Is this a term relating to the occupation? I was a little lost with your story. However, I want you to keep on writing and revise if you see fit. After all, this is your story.
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Bless,
Please rest assured, there are people that do understand what our fathers,sons,brothers,uncle and the female gender of the above are fighting for. But remember, as you say, this is the land of the free therefore persons have the right to feel what they feel. There are more people in your corner then you will ever know. Based on your fast thinking and typing you have a few misspelt words. But your piece is truly a cry for understanding. Keep up the good work
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cheryl,
A fitting title to a historial piece of life. I enjoyed each new thought. I am a person of few words. Keep up the good work.
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Stuart,
I loved your "Irregardless" Newsletter. I being from Missouri, I took your suggestion and looked the word up in the dictionary. It wasn't I didn't believe you, but I have heard the word so many time, I thought I would make sure what you are saying is indeed correct. Wasn't I surprise. You are so right. Thanks for the lesson in the use of the English language and the humor througtout your piece, which kept me reading. Please keep up the good work. I can't wait for lesson #2.
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Review of Beautiful Girl.  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Liz,
This girl seems to be going through a span of self-doubt, low esteem and depression. Maybe she has gotten in a situation that is over her head. But you continue to give her your love. Some day she will realize you are there. Keep on writing
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi William,
First, don't apologize for attempting something new. You never know where your star will shine.

Second, The first 2 poems are great. I think you should expand on them and redo them as individual items. This will help to increase your portfolio.

Third, I had difficulty following your third poem. Maybe you can elaporate on this. Your "decision to leave." Leave what? Keep up the good work.
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Review of Grandfather  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Peter,
What a wonderful and expressive story. I dearly hope it is only a story. Keep on writing.
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Review of Sound of Freedom  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi apequeenbee,
No truer words have been written. I know you must have heard the expression "out of the mouth of babes."
Enough said. Keep up the good work.
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Review of For Me  
Review by Pennie
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Esau,
I as a pass smoker can relate to your feelings. I, for one, will not advise you to stop. I believe you will take that step when y-o-u are ready. But remember the price you pay is not only on you. You do have friends and family who love you. Keep on writing.
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Review of Pain  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Keep up the good work
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Review of Satan's Welcome  
Review by Pennie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Satan is truly a devious character to have to deal with. We always need to be on our toes, which is hard to do. Keep on writing.
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Mabao,
I agree with you. Something needs to be done to stop the disasters heading our way. Politician could had interferred with the 9/11 event, but didn't, They could have taken a closer look at the persons wanting flying lessons, they could have ordered the planes distroyed. I know this may sound uncaring. But it is not. Look as all the people that are now dead or dying from catastrophe. This is only one example. Keep up your good work.
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Review of APRIL'S FOOL  
Review by Pennie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Joliea,
This truly a cute piece. I thought you piece was going to be about the tricks that are played on people on April Fools Day. Wasn't I surprise. Keep up the good work.
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Review of Who Am I?  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi E-beth,
What a lovely thought pervoking piece. Until someone reads this, they may assume they know themselves. It has given me food for thought. Keep up the good work
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Review of The Tour Bus  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I hope you receive this. I did not know how to send it to you any other way. I enjoyed this part of the story. Some parts fit in perfectly. ie. Beautiful Tree = native American. How fitting. Keep up the good work.
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Review of The Final Words  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Is this event something that occured in your life? It is written with much compassion and understanding, that I feel you may have experience this Good-Bye. I got sad reading it. I truly hope this is a life event that passes you by. Keep up the good work.
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Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lefthanded,
I really related to your story. You see, I worked in the towers for 12 years and I know the feelings of loss and needing to honor the heroes. The heroes of that day are still suffering. I still find it hard to believe the towers are gone. Your story brought back feelings I thought was at rest. Keep up your good work.
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Review of First Impressions  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Nicole,
What a story. I hope you are not leaving it here. We need to know, did she know her attacker? When did Ben get home? After all the stress, was she okay? She sure is a fighter being pregnant and all. I wish you had broken dow the story into more paragraphs. This would have made it an easier read. This is your story and you don't need to change but think about it. Keep up the good work
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Review of Falling  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Bertie,
I have read your piece and find it a little difficult to follow. The first parts seem to imply you are in a dream. I find you can loosen the ties without the knife, don't you think. Always remember, this is your piece and you only need to revise if you feel the need. With this said I liked your attempt. Keep up the good work.
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Review of The Dentist 3  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Keznh,
I have just completed you 3 madlids "The Dentist". I a ma puzzle lover and found your three stories very funny. Please don't stop. They are fund a thought provoking.
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Review of The World Apart  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Brandon,
I find a lot of truth in your piece. It is the people that will distroy planet earth. If it ever restarts, lets hope the inhabitants will be a lot smarter. War does not make for good relations. Keep up the good work
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Review of The Gift  
Review by Pennie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi T. Reuther,
I find you story sad but I do understand what was lost. You are right, it can only be lost once and you should be free to decide when that time should be.
Your story generated feelings,I can only emphasize with. I liked your poem. Keep up the good work.
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Review of You Care  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Dani,
I enjoyed your piece. May I suggest you review for punctuation and capitalization. Keep on writing
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Review of Blocked Poet  
Review by Pennie
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Kelso,
I don't know if you was on a metrodome when you wrote this, but it look like you wrote it in haste. The punctuations and capitals are missing, and I know you know better. I don't believe writers block can be use as a reason of lacking gppd writing skills. Just for clarification a metrodome is a timer used when practicing on a piano. I know this is your piece and you can amend or not as you see fit. Keep on writing.
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