to be honest i barely read half of it but it seems that your writing skills are bit rough in a few areas such as describing more of what is happening at that moment even when it has no effect on the actual storyline and thats a problem because getting too off of the storyline will have the same effect on others as it did on me which im not saying your bad at writing but im just saying more practice is what you need most because your not bad you just need to continue on with your writing to build up a few of your skills. also on a side note i believe that most of the problems in this story rely on its just too refined of a storyline to remain interesting like that can be something just retaining to preference in a book depending on the person but it just seems like too dull of a story, its too ordinary with life in a way, i would try something with a little more out of the ordinary things that people arent as used to and things that actually seem interersting but your on the right track and i really do hope that this review of mine will assist you in the future. for now farewell and good luck.
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