I liked the story. It had direction and a good plot. I could make out difined personalities of the charactors. I did have some difficulty determining the underlying theme of the story. That could be my inability to see it. What did the White Horse represent? Here is a list of things I think may improve the story. Keep in mind I am not an expert and these are my opinions.
- I was looking for a description and emotional state of Ruth, after the first paragraph.
-What was the effect of Travis' divorce on his emotional state and his relationship with Ruth.
-It might be good to have Ruth address Travis by name early in the story to identify him.
-What was Ruth's "Intensity"?
-When Ruth describes how she is haunted by the accident and the sound of Billy's head hitting the floor. I would not have used "thump" or "thud". I would stick with "sound". Her vocabulary should reflect her PHD.
-What was the long term effect of Billy's injury. How did it keep him from being a success.
-In this sentence "I could sense she felt a friendly greeting from the purple Asters". What led him to think this? Something she said or did?
-How did Travis see the differences between Billy and Ruth?
-Did Ruth drink alot? Why did she have so much alcohol on hand?
-Instead of "decent tile setter", "decent at laying tile".
-Instead of "I could hear the sucking sound of the mud holding her boots", "her boots made a sucking sound as she tried to pull them from the mud".
-Did the shooting of the horse signifiy something? Was the death of the horse a begining or end of something?
I liked the story. I felt there was a lot more going on there than I could understand without more information.
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