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66 Public Reviews Given
66 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Why can't i sleep  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like your poem. I like that you named it with a question instead of a statement. It touches on many, less than desirable symptoms but it doesn't go dark.

It's poignant and relatable! The haunts of "too many minds," takes its toll and shows up in lack of sleep, fatigue, dark circles, lack of focus, and so on. Many of us can relate to this peace saboteur and the torment it imposes upon us.

The last verse is my favorite:

So I'll sit here drinking my coffee
The only thing that makes me feel comfy
Because my head doesn't know peace
Which makes the feeling far out of reach
But maybe if I count sheep
I can find the feeling in my sleep

I like the contrast between the comfort your character finds in their coffee and the peace that remains out of reach.

Finally, I like that you end it with the hope of counting sheep and finding the feeling s/he seeks.

Nicely done!

Live Passionately,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review of Christmas in July  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I did not see where you were taking me and I was delighted by the ending.

I appreciated the irony of the 180 degree shift from selfish indulgence to selfless giving, and in that, your main character found the joy of Christmas. Nice twist!

I like how you articulated the ending, too:
From: "They watch as I approach," to "I have found the spirit of Christmas."
In particular, I really like, "scruffy, suspicious men, careworn nervous women,
black, white, young, old..." This brief description paints a picture of who is there and the uncomfortableness they live in.

I have a couple of small suggestions:
1. I would remove the word "anyway" from the following sentence: "How low does my thermostat go anyway?" I think the question stands more powerfully without the word "anyway."
2. I would remove the parenthetical statement, "(unworn in 5 months). It breaks the flow and, IMHO, it's Christmas in July, I'm pretty sure she hasn't worn that sweater for 5 months or more. *Smile* Plus, I don't think it's relevant to the story.

Overall, I enjoyed your poem. It ended on a bright note and added "that glow" to my morning.

Write On,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love, love, love the basic idea of the magic coat, Timmy's curiosity, and the playful nature of a "conscious, prank-playing coat."

I enjoyed much of the writing. A favorite bit is where you introduced the coats consciousness: "One day, as Timmy was rummaging through the coat's pockets for a candy bar he had seen Susie stash away, he found a small, neatly folded piece of paper. Intrigued, he unfolded the note and read, "Hello, Timmy. I've been watching you.""

There is so much delightful content in this piece, but I think it is underdeveloped and I am left with open loops. The two primary questions I had as I read are:
1. Where is if Timmy's sister in all of this?
2. If Susie loved and wore her coat everywhere, how did Timmy have so much time with it without conflict or approval from his sister?

Overall, I enjoyed your story and think that it has a ton of potential and should become either a book or a book series for children . . . I wish I had thought of it. *Smile*

Write On,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review of A Bridge Too Far  
Rated: E | (5.0)
HELL YES!!! Delightful! I loved my journey to the north bank of Tower Bridge in London. I had no idea where you were taking me upon reading about Mugglegub's triple trouble, but I had a sense that it was going to be a "favorable ending." As I read on I started to sense that our friend was going to be exposed to some advantageous truths about his "trollness." I was elated that you did not disappoint!!!

Without dialogue, you kept my attention and moved the story forward very effectively. Somewhere, in the early paragraphs, I, for the first time, became a trolls friend and wanted Mugglegub's to see "the light of day." And see it, he did, metaphorically as well as physically.

Finally, I love how you ended it, returning Mugglegub and reader to his "trollness."

Hat's off to you. Great story! Great writing! Entertaining! . . . and, the desired happy ending. Thank you!

I feel fulfilled and I think that is the best way to leave your reader.

Write On,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review of Could Be Serious  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
WELL DONE!

Speaking to the "crazy" that drives all passion, and many writers, Prosperous Snow. I enjoyed it through and through and wouldn't change a thing. From crazy opportunity-seeking to stacks of undone responsibilities, when a passion calls, lesser loyalties, and responsibilities just NEED to wait!!! End of story!

Thanks for sharing your talent and capturing a message many of us can relate to.

Write On,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Rated: E | (3.5)
The recipe sounds fantastic and I agree with you about Italian bread crumbs vs Panko!!!

Some suggestions and "Likes.":

1. Consider the following change about the first ingredient: 1 16-oz. bag of potato gnocchi--also, no comma is needed at the end.

2. Consider changing, "Homemade marinara sauce, for dipping" to "Your favorite marinara sauce for dipping."

Below, I have used brackets to indicate addition, suggestions, and the "strike-through" code to indicate eliminations.

1. Cook the gnocchi [according to package directions] in a pot of salted boiling water. Drain and let cool.

2. I like how you very clearly laid out the following: "Place flour in one bowl. Beat eggs with one tablespoon [of] water in another bowl. In a third bowl, mix together breadcrumbs, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper with a fork until well combined . . . Note: I added the word "of" in front of the word "water" and eliminated the word "together." Either works for me, but grammatically speaking, adding "of" is more accurate, and the word "together" is unnecessary. Insert shoulder shrug emoji here.

3. Is the skillet about an inch deep or am I adding about 1 inch of oil, here? "Add the canola oil to a large deep skillet about one-inch high. Heat oil over medium heat. When the oil is hot, fry the gnocchi in batches until golden brown and crispy, about 2 1/2-3 minutes total."

3a. Do you mean 2 1/2 - 3 minutes total or per batch?

4. Consider the following change: "Make sure to heat your [the] canola oil in your skillet over medium heat, not higher, so the gnocchi browns evenly and doesn’t burn. . . . I changed "your" to "the" and eliminated the words, "in your skillet." . . . That said, this is a worthy warning. I'm glad you added it.

5. Great note: "I use Italian-style bread crumbs for this recipe[,] not panko crumbs. I like to add the extra Italian seasoning to give the gnocchi more flavor." . . .The individual can make the decision, but you brought it to mind and made your case for the Italian bread crumbs. I like that you point this out. Note that I added a comma after the word "recipe," above.

6. I think you should try them and then give your definitive opinion here: "You can also do these in batches in an air fryer. I have not tried baking them, but I may bake a few today."

7. I don't think this is necessary. I would eliminate it: "Not to open the sauce vs. gravy debate; Marinara sauce usually refers to a sauce made from tomatoes that contains no meat or meat juices."

8. I LOVE THIS: "You can also try other dipping sauces such as; Honey Mustard, Regular or Dijon Mustard, a Cheesy Dip, and Salsa. Or any combination of these!". . . Maybe add something like: Get creative and have fun!!

9. I love this, too: "Enjoy!!"

I hope you find this review helpful. Most of my suggestions are small, in the scope of things. But I think they will make navigating your AMAZING RECIPE easier. *Smile*

I am looking forward to trying this recipe and I too, will try some in the skillet and some in the air fryer.

Happy cooking,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of My ledge  
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW!!! Quite an intense, emotional ride. It pushed forward like a thriller, moving ever so quickly to a cliffhanger.

So much is said as you swiftly move your character through an internal journey of processing life's events. I'm sure many of us can relate, at least at one time or another, to this journey of despair; with thoughts, so much louder than reason, building their case of "life sucks" or "why bother" or whatever form of negativity is residing the individual's head.

It saddens me to think about, to remember, that so many people endure this "doomsday" thinking when I know that we can turn it around with conscious practice, and get back those pieces that we lose along the way.

But alas, that is not what your poem is about, and it was well done: good imagery, good cadence, and great emotional intensity.

I am cheering for your character. I want them to find their way. I want them to discover that they can turn life about. To that end, I have a suggestion: Omit the last line, "Do I stay on?" End with the line, "The ledge is about to fall." This creates a strong cliffhanger. It also leaves it open-ended for a myriad of endings . . . Does the ledge fall? Does the individual on the ledge get saved? Do they save themselves? Does the ledge fall, landing the individual right smack where they need to be to break through and break the cycle, etc?

Thank you for the honesty of this piece and, if it is about you, I hope you find your way . . . right smack where you need to be to break through and break the cycle.

Wishing you the best,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I appreciate the insight into Filipino culture and cuisine. I generally find Filipinos to be joyful, welcoming, and very hospitable people. That said, I would have liked to learn more about the traditions, beliefs, and values that shape "the people."

Additionally, there are a lot of grammatical errors that need to be addressed, for example: "We offer smile on our faces and laugh at our problems because we solve problems through our smiles and laughter," smile should be plural (smiles) . . . I'd also like to know more about how you solve problems through your smiles and laughter, not just that you do so.

Again, I appreciate the insight and would like to learn more about your culture.

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A poem of hope! My favorite kind.

The message of the poem came through loud and clear. I appreciate the way you structured it and took your reader through the simplicity of past. Then with a few brief words showed our current timeline. Then presented a possible future that stirs hope in the reader, and for me, reminds me of my part in making that future a reality.

I also like how you began and ended with the same verse. . . but different. ;)

I feel that this piece sheds light on an important truth and I have no suggestions for improvement.

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of SNOWSTORM  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed this romp through a Canadian snowstorm. The piece is well-written and has a nice rhythm.

There is also a nice balance of appreciation for the snow and "the trouble of snow:":
Appreciation: "Today is quite sunny, it's dazzling in fact.
The white snow is glistening; all the light does refract.

"Trouble of snow:"
"This must be brushed, and scraped, and removed from spaces.
This must be pushed, and shovelled, and re-piled in places."

I do believe that shoveled, however, has one "l." At least in American English, it does. :)


There are a lot of lines I felt appreciation for:

1. "But looks are deceiving, despite glimmer and bright
The air is so nippy, it snaps with a bite."

2. (My favorite) "The clouds have decided it's snow they are throwing.
Fast and furious ghost flakes, twirling and blowing.

3. (2nd fave) "There's no on or off button; just how much is enough?
It continues to accumulate this powdery stuff."

4. "Welcome to a Canadian winter, it returns every season.
It's always unpredictable for whatever the reason."



Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review of The Missing Man  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
WOW! I welled up as I read the first line and I knew where you were taking me. This piece is well written, poignant, and on purpose. It humanizes the "boys" we send into war, useless or otherwise.

I am reliving the Vietnam war as I write this review, crying over the betrayal, and how our young men were sent, like pawns, to fight a useless war.

You effectively brought me to the hill where your soldier, like thousands of others, faces the surreal reality that no human ever wants to face: kill or be killed. And, I'm sure both sides are experiencing the same internal battle.

There are so many well written lines, stacked upon each other, taking me through the still truth of the "soldier on the hill."

One question/suggestion: In the sentence, "Bits of earth are tossed into the air." Am I miss reading the scene or might a better word be chosen here, such as blown into the air or explode into the air? . . . To me tossed is a gentle word, nothing else in this piece suggests a gentle moving of earth.

All and all this is plain and simple, and amazing piece . . . Did you experience it, yourself?

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Rated: E | (4.5)
I LOVE it !!! It tells a full and gratifying story. I read it three times, just because I enjoyed it.

Carpe diem is one of my favorite sayings. I said it everyday to my youngest child when he left for school, from maybe 5th grade on. I still say it everytime one of my children have a big day, big event, or are facing/pushing through a challenge.

I have two small suggestions:

1.Separate carpe diem with commas."He made his move, carpe diem, . . .
I like the dramatic pause that the commas add in this context.

2. I would change the word that to was in the following sentence: "He thought that Heaven Can Wait . . . "

There is also an ambiguity within the poem that I like, in that, I'm left to draw my own conclusion as to why Sam is contemplating heaven in the first place.

Carpe diem,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love the opening line: "I inhale dawn's silence." . . . I awake before the rest of my house, daily, so I can "inhale dawn's silence," and do my quiet time. It grounds me for the day. And, while I've never used those words to describe it before, they totally resonate with me . . . as does the remainder of the first stanza.

While I personally think everyday is "a day of beauty,"I can appreciate where you are coming from with the first line of the second stanza.

Your poem tells a full story. I like that.

Cyndee
39
39
Review of Oceanic Taxidermy  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well damn! (I like to start reviews out like that when a piece impresses me. "Great job" or "Good work" is soooo boring and unoriginal).

Anyway, I think you nailed it!!! And, I appreciate your detailed description!!! I was today years old when I learned about a 15 syllable, 7/5/3, Quinzaine.

Something that really stood out for me: The ambiguity of it. I know what I think and feel about it, but I am left to guess at your position. That is slick! The ambiguity makes it safe for the reader to form their opinion without feeling like they have to defend it, first.

I'll close with a Great job, and a 5 star rating.

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is more a review of WdC and not the poll:

There are so many WONDERFUL resources on WdC. How can any serious writer not love it? The community, contributors, and support are fantastic. There is plenty of daily activity, inspiration, and information to help me expand my skills and craft.

I love my portfolio, the fact that we have email, notebook, and blog space. I like that I can see how many members and guests are active, and I love all the contests.

The only improvement I could suggest is better software so we can comment directly on posts, like on facebook. So we can include images with our articles, and not have to use those {}, and things like that.

All that said, I am still learning to navigate and while some of the site is user friendly, I think there's room for improvement, in this area, too.

Immeasurable ROI on the small monetary investment for any paid membership!!!

Cyndee
41
41
Review of Shape Shifter  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A very graphic piece, Prosperous Snow. It sounds haunting. I love the title and the spin on the Monster Maker Challenge.I can see this beast haunting you.

A suggestion: Choose one, two at the most, "similgories" (A word I just made up because I don't know if they are similes or allegories. haha). . . Four feels like too many. That said, the first two are my faves.

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
42
42
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I immediately felt engaged in the chapter and enjoyed the dialogue between Cynthia and Nolan. There are a few small things I might change if I were the one writing it.

1. "Cynthia's bedroom looked like what you'd see in a hospital." Consider something like: Cynthia's bedroom had been converted into a high-profile, hospital room . . . "

2. "I'm so thankful I can stay in my home rather than the hospital." Consider something like, I'm so thankful I can stay in my home and not a cold hospital."

3. "Your grandfather left me in very good shape financially speaking." Consider: Financially speaking, your grandfather left me in good shape.

4. I could relate to that. He left me millions of dollars-worth of stolen art if only I could figure out a way to sell it. In this use, dollars worth is two words, not one.

A couple of things I like:

1. The overall flow of the conversation and the apparent unspoken rapport between the two individuals.

2. "Cynthia let out another weak laugh. "Insane? No." . . . This gives me insight into her condition and shows me a bit of personality. I like Cynthia and want to know more about her story.

3. I liked Cynthia's, direct, one-word response to her late husband's field of expertise, "Heists." . . . No sugar coating it. Plain and simple: "Heists."

4. She reached for a cup of water and I assisted. She took a few pulls from a bendy straw and waved that she was finished. . . . I like the bendy straw description. It shows me that whoever Noland is, he is still youthful-"a child."

5. I enjoyed the following exchange: "I decided not to say it, but I did think it: If he was so good at what he did, why did he die in prison?

It was as if she heard my thought because she added, "However, his work always had an element of chance. He could minimize the odds of something going wrong but there was never a guarantee that his plans were one hundred percent foolproof. Those odds eventually caught up with him." . . . I always like this type of "mind-reading" exchange. They are common in my life, and, well, I'm just a fan of them.

Random bits:

1. A question: Would a pro like Richard Blair create a trackable trail using text as a form of communication?

2. After the conversation with Cynthia, I think you should insert a couple of paragraph breaks and a ~ to indicate the "scene change."

3. I think the end moves in too large of steps and there are a lot of missed opportunities to expand your story. For example, I would have enjoyed seeing how Blair was a different man, instead of Nolan telling me, in just a sentence.

Overall, imho, you have some great material here and I would like to read on.

The best to you on your writing journey, Timothy.

Write on,
Cyndee


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! Intense! I even like how you didn't capitalize anything, including all "I" related words. As that goes right along with the lackadaisical, bored theme of the poem. That said, the last line was stronger than I expected, and it took me aback.

Still, overall I think you have a great "1/2 poem." As for me, I would rather it end in hope, in rebirth of a passion, or something like that.

Write on,
Cyndee
44
44
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this. It is rich with imagery, imagination, and metaphor . . . yet, grounded. One who has ever watched raindrops on a window can see and appreciate the imagery.

I have no suggestions for improvement so I'll give you a 5 star rating and call it a day. *Delight*

Write on,
Cyndee
45
45
Review of MISSING  
Rated: E | (4.0)
That is cute. I like how you set it up as a "missing persons" add. I also like how you portrayed Ellie in kindness, approachability and playfulness. I appreciated the irony of her "hiding behind a tree." I just like how this delightful little read made me feel overall.

Write on,
Cyndee
46
46
Review of Insomnia  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think many of us can relate.

I really like the first verse. I can relate to every line and love what the last line said to me: "that I can not make sense of any thought:" At some point it starts to feel like gobbledygook, ridiculous . . . Why? These thoughts are not even worth lying awake for. WTH? . . . etc.

While I like the first verse, it does not shadow the next two lines:
Oh, where can this elusive rest be sought?
I am so tired I could nearly scream; . . . I CAN RELATE!!!

Good job!

Write on,
Cyndee
47
47
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a delightful read. Seeing or sharing things through the fresh eyes of children has a way of doing that.

Curious as to whether Nathaniel dreamed up the bird or heard of it elsewhere I googled it. It appears there are images of such a bird and according to the wiki the chopperbird is a character in the Mario world: https://www.mariowiki.com/Chopperbird . . . You go Nathaniel with your wonderful imagination. :)

Write on,
Cyndee
48
48
Review of Beverage Holster  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well damn! Much said in those few words. I like it, and I have no tips for improvement. I like that the thirsty sees the parched . . . and together, with this awareness, they may quench each others thirst.

The best to you on your writing journey.

Write on,
Cyndee
49
49
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have a nice voice for video, and I appreciate the visual that video provides. It was basic, short, and it flowed well.

I would have liked suggestions for the text bits, especially for the review style.

I also think a lot of newbies would benefit from bio suggestions, such as, you can include things like: where you're from, favorite writing genres, writing history, what inspires you as a writer, awards, etc.

That said, I appreciate the navigation guidance and I'm sure I'm not alone in that appreciation. :)
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