Good work. So much of what you have written comes from the Scriptures. Have you thought of referencing them at the end of your poem so that others can look them up for themselves? Just a thought because some people may not be as familiar with the Bible as you are and may not know that they can read those encouraging words there for themselves, or they may know that similar passages are in the Bible but they may have forgotten where to find them.
I think this poem really tells of your conviction to trust in God no matter what Satan throws at you through this world and the times we now live in. It is always good to hold on to one's faith above all else. If we let go of that, sometimes we have nothing left.
Beautifully written, but so very sad. You mentioned so many of the feelings and symptoms experienced by Alzheimer's patients and their families. I like how you restated and thus greatly emphasized the hopeless feelings and the vulnerability of both the patient and the family by using both the metaphore and similie of a thief stealing away something precious and immeasurably valuable.
Excellent work and very touching. Thank you for sharing it. My father has Parkinson's and it is terrible to see any kind of disease effecting a loved one. One that effects their mind and personality, though, as both Alzheimer's and Parkinson's do, is so horrible, and it makes everyone involved feel so helpless. My father knows who he is and what he wants to say. He just can't get it to come out, and in his frustration sometimes he gets angry at those around him because they have trouble understanding him.
There is a sad overtone to this poem, but in many ways you have described the good things that love accomplishes...if only it had worked out in the end.
Very charming, indeed. Sometimes our lives are not glamourous or exciting but to find love, have a fine family, and honest work to be proud of are the greatest treasures of life.
This was an inciteful and inspiring bit of writing and I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing it.
A very emotional and heartfelt piece of writing. Such a display of loyalty and conviction are rarely seen today, even in most literature that I have read recently. In our society today everything seems disposable, replaceable. Relationships, though, and the love that goes with them are not.
This is a wonderful piece and a tribute to your feelings for whomever it was written about. It is very powerful.
One note: Seventh sentence: "I will not be able to be him...." Perhaps you meant "I will not be able to be his...?" Just a minor typo. :)
I will try to get back and read more of your work. Thank you.
Deb
(justme)
Short and to the point, but very expressive. In a few brief lines you have described so many feelings and so many experiences. A broken heart can have so many causes, but the emptiness it leaves causes a whole range of emotions, fears, and regrets.
You have done a good job of expressing those feelings that so many others have also felt.
I will come back and read more as I am able to find the time. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
My dear, what a lot of poetry you have penned. I know only too well the loss of a sibling, a best friend and confidant...one who should be here now but for an auto accident that ended his life at 23 years instead of leaving him with me! My Andy passed away 13 years ago in May and every day I think of him, remember him, wish I could hear his voice and tell him I love him just one more time...as you said in one of your poems "not to do over, just to have over."
I write to heal also and I have written many poems to express my grief, though I have not posted most of them. Two items I do have that talk about my brother are "My Personal Miracle" (a journal of the problems I had with my pregnancy after my brother died) and "Namesake" (the story of how we chose a name for our son that would be a private honor to the uncle he would never know).
You have touched my heart. I will be back soon to read more.
I enjoyed your writing very much. I spent three hours this morning writing a review for you and then when I hit "Rate and Review" my computer crashed and wiped it out! How frustrating!! If you are interested in what I had to say I will rewrite it and send it later on. There are some finer points that could be refined, some incongruity of tenses within sentences and paragraphs, some punctuation problems, and some sentence structure that could be improved, but over all it was very nicely done.
Thank you for sharing your work and please let me know if you would be interested in the editing and revision notes I had done previously. As a writer, constructive criticism is always useful to me and I am always happy to offer it to others who also appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Deborah (justme)
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