Scarlett, this is a great start but I'd like to see a few less adverbs and a little more description of the fear and anguish your main character is feeling. You hint at it really well and I don't think it would take much for you to tip over the edge into really making us feel it. It's a great premise and has a lot of potential.
"Emotions I thought were dead and buried stirred far too rapidly for me to control." - what emotions? How does that stirring make him feel in his gut? Does he catch his breath? Is he trembling? Has his mouth gone dry?
You've drawn a great sketch, Scarlett, now fill in the colours :O)
Angel
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