"Midhe's eyes sparkled and spotted Danh's enthusiastic grin. He ignored the disappointed look on his older brother's face and the bored sigh coming from his younger brother."
I can't find mention of anyone other than one older and one younger brother in addition to Midhe.
The younger brother told the truth - those seeds weren't going to grow and Danh planted a real seed. That's how the king knew Midhe cheated.
The first time the ending was quite abrupt and kinda threw me off balance. I had to read this through a few times to fully grasp the true story. It makes the reader have to think a bit to understand it, which I like. The pace was even and the sudden surprise ending was just what was needed to fully appreciate it. This reminds me of the stories we had to read and critique in English Literature class in college. Great job!
At first it seemed a simple 'boy meets girl' story but every time I thought I knew where it was going it delightfully twisted!
Excellent, smooth progress of the story line - that dialogue was key and not bogged down by any description that wasn't necessary. The buildup to the conclusion was, as I said, smooth and very well done!
For me, the conclusion was a tad too quick considering the set pace of the story. I would have drawn it out a bit more using Rogan's efforts to try escaping with Becca to soften the abruptness of the ending. Logically Rogan would not have known that he couldn't escape once he saw Becca could - it would be natural for him to try.
Good job!
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