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6 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Game  
Review by evade
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was fun!

As soon as I got done reading, I poured myself a cup of coffee, went out on the deck and thought about your story, the possibilities and the way you told it. Nothing to add, nothing to suggest.

I would compliment you on your basic writing style. Before the obvious hook of the story was revealed, and I should add that I didnt look at the title until afterwards, I was already enjoying your easy narrative style.

I imagine and hope that you might take this story further... it stands well as a set piece, but the possibilities are immense.

Thank you again, I really enjoyed it.
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Review by evade
Rated: E | (3.5)
Fun, easy as hell to read, and of course we've all been in some kind of similar situation, so easily identifiable. Maybe Im just lazy, but I tend to enjoy stuff that doesnt waste any time getting to the point.

I wasnt gonna write a review. Something about your writing, or maybe the person your protagonist telss me you, tells me you dont care what I or anyone else thinks. But I do have a question for you that popped into my head as soon as I read this:

Are these actual verbatim events from your life, or are you using some lisence to write these? (I read the hot dog one too).

The reason I ask is that there is so much here to work with. I'd think you could take this in a bunch or hysterical, tragic, ironic directions. Its a great set-up. Obviously if you are just recounting events, this isnt an option. I am curious though.

Thanks
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Review by evade
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Loved it. Throw in some paragraph brakes as thiis is being read on a computer monitor and the eyes need that break. I suppose my favorite part is the allusion to the revelation that your throat being like a nuns crotch (dry, Im assuming) coming shortly after your discussion of driftimg away from the church. Yeah, you've drifted!

I used to faint in church as well, always while kneeling as a member of the boys choir. Trying to fight it off was excruciating, and failing (always) was humiliating. The other guys looked at me like I was the either the biggest puss in the world, or the few ultra pious one (no one should be that God-fearing that young) that I was somewhere between disrespectful and evil.

Your venacular is a bit difficult to follow for an american, but I wouldn't change it a bit. Let us do the work, its worth it.

Thanks for the stories and keep it up.

Dave
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