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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ewhitesi
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11 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Elaine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved this! I surely understand. I reacently actually made a new lime-green felted bag that has been admired by many. I carry it around like a proud mama showing it off to everyone I meet. In fact, I have been a knitting machine and have made several others - I am on my way to a complete wardrobe of felted bags.

I would suggest two things - first, reread to check for missed words or clumsy sentences. Secondly, re-read out loud to listen for the rhythm of the writing.

Lastly, I wanted a more powerful ending. This is close, but not quite enough. Reading aloud may help.

Thanks for making me smile today.

cheers,
e
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Review by Elaine
Rated: E | (3.5)
We all need to hear this once in a while, don't we? Inspirationally, it scratches the itch.

However, as a reader of the writing, I noticed the repetition of a single theme. Redundancy made me begin to scan instead of read, which is a shame because a very nice voice and sentiment are embedded in the piece.
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Review by Elaine
Rated: E | (5.0)
This reminds me of visiting my brother's house with four children all born within 6 years of one another! And now, the fact that I can't wait to be a grandma so I can spoil and leave...

The only question I have is the word "sportin." The first time I undestood, but the second referring to her sproting Dora fashion wasn't clear - I had to read it a couple of times to finally get that she "dressed up" like Dora.

Of course, it could be that I am removed from Dora-world and small children for several years.

This was a pleasure to read and I will check out your other writings as time permits.

Cheers!
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Review by Elaine
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'm intrigued. I have never heard of this place before and your article certainly whets the appetite to visit.

Being a journalistic piece, I don't know how much subjective opinion you want to include and if your facts are referenced.

I don't know if you are looking to market this piece, but I would research airlines that fly into the Philadelphia area. They are always looking for great destinations - the less known and more offbeat, the better.

Well done. I'm going to put it on my list of places to visit.
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Review of I hate bathing  
Review by Elaine
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a hoot! (Sorry, but it IS funny.) I've been right there with you. Get on that wheel and run, Momma!

I never found a solution except getting up a few minutes earlier in the morning because if I don't shower in the morning and wake up, I do not function at all all day long.

I have had dreams about having my makeup all strategically placed on a pillow and then just rubbing my face in it in the morning and having robotic arms dress me in clothes that I have not had to pick out and coordinate.

I fantasize about all hungry mouths lined up and fed like a mother bird (not regurgitated food) one bit at a time and everyone eating at my speed and all being sated at the same time. That leaves only one utensil and one dish to wash, which are taken care of because we just tossed them in the food preparation and distribution dishes recycling bin. Sigh.

Loved the piece. I like the rhythm and exasperation which builds and builds until a gasp at the end.
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