Good Poll! A short piece that would be good longer; remember the old saying, "Leave them wanting more." This advice is as good for jokes and entertainment as well as writing.
J. K. Rowlings is good at that.
Peace, Gayle
Very good to write down your feelings. I lost my Grandmother that raised me in January last year before her Birthday. I miss her so very much and it was the first time in my life I have ever felt that lost and alone.
Now I am learning to ask myself, "What would Grandma do?" With all kinds of things in my life. I do regret not being able to see her more before she died.
I wish that your good memories help you through the toughest times, like it does me.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
The only other suggestion I have for your garden is to spread newspaper all over the plastic before putting the dirt in. It keeps the roots moist when the weather is too dry.
Best wishes and God Bless. I am disabled now and really miss gardening so much! But I am going to try some gardening soon.
I am wanting to enclose an area but do not like the look of concrete blocks so I am thinking of using plastic edging as our soil is very good.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
Awesome! Sounds like a full week of fun and games! This is wonderful that you put all the Moderators together on this page, it will make it much easier to read, rate and review their portfolios.
Best Wishes for the next year.
Happy 5th Birthday!
And Thank You for being here for all of us Writing.com and Mr. and Mrs. Story Master and Mistress and All You Helpful Moderators.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle Crawford AKA gaylynn
First off, this should not be rated E because you curse all of the way through it, which makes it a bore to read! Only a narrow mind can think of no other words in place of curse words.
Second, this piece is NOT for children to read. Every child should be able to be a child and not have to grow up so fast. Dreams are shattered every day with out the Earth's children losing Hope.
Third, it is full of grammer and spelling errors.
I read this because I am very open minded and like to give everyone a chance.
If what you are saying is as true as you think, then the 8th paragraph makes no sense at all.
And another theory of the last paragraph is: The tide lowered and by the time Jesus and all of the followers got across it rose before the enemy could cross the peninsula. Not realizing how this was done the enemy turned back before the tide lowered again.
Hope you end up having a better outlook on life and more Open views to miracles and other good things in the Universe.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
I can not give this a 5 because of the mistakes I have listed below to help you out. And because I wanted to read more. This was a very hard piece of writing to list mistakes on Only because you caught my interests and kept me interested in the story line the whole time. I really enjoyed reading this! You have a wonderful piece of writing here so please let me know when you have these mistakes corrected so I can rerate this work a Clear 5.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
She quietly smiled and put down the sigh. “I am Lilike Békés, but everyone calls me Lilly.
= "sigh" should be sign.
“Toth is an Hungarian name,” she pointed out.
= "an" should be a. A good rule for this is the "an" comes before vowels and an "a" comes before constanants.
As they left, she moved briskly and with purpose out the car.
= should be out "to" the car.
The birthmark Lilly shared with isr mother!
= with isr mother = "her"?
He continued to sit in his chair, as he slowly turned his head toward his daughter in Chris
= "daughter in Chris" should be "daughter 'and' Chris."
Chris drew in a deep breath for courage, as he turned Lilly into him. “I am the first born! Why else would I be hidden from you – unknown to you all these years? It’s my soul that devil wants!”
= Chris drew in a deep breath for courage, as he turned Lilly "into" him? I don't understand what you are trying to say in this sentence.
This piece needs some grammer checks.
And the big thing is to remember to keep with either past tense or present tense in your story plus you spoke as three people.
If you are telling the story you can go into being in the story then back to telling the story at the end. That is OK, but this was a little confusing because at times I could not tell if you were telling the story from Beth's point of view, her mother's, or yours.
A little work on these factors would make this a Very Good write.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
Wow What a powerful story/poem! This is a piece I will remember. This should be published! I think you should have won first for this. This would be good enough to send to "Reader's Digest." I am including this on the reviewer's page because I hope many people read it.
Very Well Written. Flows well, easy to read and leaves many pictures in your mind.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
Very Good!
Go ahead and play with those noisey toys!
Then take the batteries out and put up all but one for the child, may I suggest the least annoying one.
Then change that toy for another in a week or two.
Not only will this save your sanity, but in two weeks your child will think you got them a "new" toy and will Love you forever.
Keep Writing. I enjoyed reading this.
Blessings, Peace and Love, Gayle
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