I enjoyed your short story about the Cloudman fan. I thought it was very funny--the details on what this man wears were spot on. It looks like you did some research into the things that this man wears and owns.
This man spends too much time in his fantasy world and it shows. I felt sorry for your character, as he sounds lost in his own little world of his own making. I suppose you meant for this to be a warning for the rest of us to get a life, but I couldn't be sure what your intention was. I thought the effective use of first person and not third person brought the reader into the story. Could you imagine how boring it would have been if you were written it in third person? Makes it more immediate and relate-able. Good job! p.s. I hope my review has been helpful. It is my first review.
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