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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/guitarkid104
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33 Public Reviews Given
0 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow. Is this your life? Although, I guess it could pertain to a lot of people in our world. Sometimes I think my life's like this, but I always try to overcome it.

Very nice, plus it rhymes. I like rhyming. :)

-Patrick
PS - For the title, I suggest "Finding My Path."
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Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very good. I like the interpretation of death. But, you made death sound tempting, like a beautful woman, but death is not tempting.

Aside from that, I liked it. I think you could have made up some more stanzas in replace of the "Death was a beautiful woman..." line. I know some poems do that, but it distracted me from the poem and it didn't seem to fit in.

-Patrick
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Review of The Pond  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how beautiful you make the pond pictured, and, of course, we have a picture to look at, too, which helps, probably.

Anyway, you have very good imagery, and I would have probably seen something somewhat similar to the provided picture in my mind's eye, but I probably would have seen it on an open field, just surrounded by a ring of trees.

Very nice.
-Patrick
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Review of A Little Girl  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice poem. It seems somewhat childish, but you're writing of a child, so it's okay.

If this girl is still young, then I hope she gets her dream. If she's an adult, I hope she has lived her dream.

Once again, very nice poem. It's one of my favorites, and I'm starting to read more poetry.

-Patrick
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Review of Reminiscence  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm not one to really judge poetry. I like this one, though.

I like rhymes better, but I know not all poems rhyme and that's how you want it.

It's a sad a sorrowful story. I think you should take away the "..." at the ends and replace it just with a single period. Dots hurt my eyes. Hehe.

I'm really sorry for you if this is a true story.

-Wiz-
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Review of I MISS YOU MOM  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (5.0)
To the author: Oh my goodness. That was really sad. I mean sad as in the emotion, not sad as in bad. I will say it: I cried.

I'm really sorry that your mom is gone, but I know that you know she's in a way better place and you are happy for her.

Good job on the poem.

To the reader: This poem is really in depth and lets you know exactly what the author thinks. If you like sad poems, this is the one to read.
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Review by PatDaniels
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow. This story gave me chills. I would never expect someone to remove their skin and order skin from the internet.

You need to explain why, in the first place, this person wants to buy new skin to replace their old skin. It just seems a bit odd to me.

Very good!

-Wiz-
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Review of Let Go  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
-Spelling, Grammar, & Typos-
Typos: My dad led me down the hall to where they we (were) keeping my cousin.
Spelling: Excellent
Grammar: Excellent

-Character Development-
Character Description:
Protagonist(s): Megan
Antagonist(s): Death
Point of View: First Person
Conflict: Megan’s kidneys fail and there is the possibility that she will die.

-Imaging & Descriptions-
Setting: Hospital
Similes: none
Metaphors: Good-Where she is the sun, I am the moon
Senses: touch
Feelings: anger; frustration; fear; love; sadness; happiness

-Communication-
Dialogue: very good

-Reviewer’s Notes-
Interest (1-5): 4
Concerns: none
Compliments: This is a great story of emotion. I love your detail and description. I almost cried.
Suggestions: none
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Review of The Review Mixer  
Review by PatDaniels
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the helpful things you do for newbies on Writing.com.

I have a ton a of questions all of the time here, and I just go to a tutorial and my questions are answered.

Thanks, guys!
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