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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hismajesty143
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Angels Listened  
Review by metamorphoser
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Daizy,

This couldn't be better. Very touching indeed. I have noticed this with your other poems as well. Your stanzas are very well balanced. Short and sweet, they truly integrate the poem's matter building on it block by block.

This poem has many emotions and follows the classical structure of the innocence, the fall, and the redemption.
A leaf out of Elliot's book I see. The point is that you have used it perfectly.

VERY WELL DONE DAIZY. I HAVE LEARNT A LOT FROM THIS POEM.
YOU DESERVE SOME COIN OF THE REALM(THOUGH I DONT HAVE MUCH!!)

Saurabh
2
2
Review by metamorphoser
Rated: E | (4.0)
Daizy,

This poem has shown what faculty simple English can bear. The poem is small, yet so complete in itself.

I particularly liked your usage of "there seems to be nothing" and then again of "there is absolutely nothing". Both of which are congruent to the poem's title. In fact it makes the title a complete one.

However, I see you could have made better usage of punctuation. For Example, what about:

There seems to be nothing
That you can compare(put a colon or a dash after this)

It will sort of stress the major line of your poem, which according to me is "To watching/being a new mother"

GOOD WORK.

Saurabh
3
3
Review by metamorphoser
Rated: E | (4.0)
Short and sweet..
You have aptly shown that the journey is indeed inconspicuous.
I like the idea:
"On the back of a majestic beast."

WELL DONE!!
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