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1,484 Public Reviews Given
1,538 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This poem has a lovely epic, legendary quality and uses the prompt words well. The story it tells feels like a song sung by a bard in a fantasy land. The scene was easy to picture and the rhyme scheme gives this a musical quality. I am intrigued to learn what a dragon moon is. This story feels like it has scope beyond the poem.
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Review of A Note To Pray  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautifully reflective poem. The tone and pace of the poem suit its mood perfectly. You have done an excellent job in encapsulating the meaning and atmosphere of the Thanksgiving season. The descriptions of the meal fan out to include the historical context and deeper spiritual meaning of the day. The poem flows well and is a restful and appealing read.
I noticed that you used 'place' twice in the final stanza. I wondered if another word might be used for the second mention to avoid repetition so close together? The first is part of they rhyme scheme so shouldn't be changed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of A Hallmark Memory  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece does a great job of conveying musings about childhood memories. It shows how some memories are clear to picture, whilst others have become hazy, such as whether the piglet survived. I would like to know how you escaped from the curious sows if you recall that - did you go into the loft and get to safety from there? I loved the story about your parents thinking you were missing when you went to visit your grandparents on their farm, the story about the boy learning to drive a snow plough tractor and the details about the outside trough bathtub and pump by the sink. You capture the distinctiveness of farm life which encourages hardiness and independence from a young age well.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What I like best:
The opening like was striking and made me want to read on to find out more about Dran, who his foe is and why he is fighting. It creates a sense of tension and immediately positions the reader in the middle of the action.
You do a great job of describing Solarene and Dran's varying feelings about her. I could clearly picture her from the description. As you reveal some of her story piece by piece I share Dran's concern that he may get into danger helping her. As a reader, I also want him to get involved in her resistance against her father as it promises to be an exciting adventure and I'm sure there are more dramatic details to uncover.
The part where Solarene uses magic to stun her father's men was a surprise and excellently described. This revelation of her powers is intriguing, even more so as she denies being a witch.
Chapter 2 is nicely written. I enjoyed the descriptions of the characters camping out at night. After the dramatic events of the first chapter, this chapter allows readers to rest and process the action that took place. It also adds realism to the dramatic fantasy action and shows the characters beginning to bond.

Some suggestions:
Here, the comma should be after 'his last' rather than after 'gasped' - 'The man gasped, his last falling face down in his own blood.'
In the first paragraph, I think the appearance of the girl would be more dramatic if 'A slight movement...' formed a new paragraph.
'Then he stopped gaping at a girl standing before him' might be made more immediate if it was: 'He stopped, gaping at a girl standing before him.'
“Hello.” She said with a small smile' might be altered to 'She gave a small smile. "Hello." to give the reader a clearer picture of who is speaking and her expression first.
'There will be more of the Baron’s men here soon,” her manner, typically chastising as expected of a high born, Dran glared at her crossly' would be better as: There will be more of the Baron’s men here soon.” Her manner was typically chastising, as expected of a high born. Dran glared at her crossly.'
'Having seen what occurred through the window and even felt his ears ring, Dran stepped out, looking around in amazement; he turned to stare in shock at Solarene.' I think it's obvious that Dran saw what happened through the window, so that part can be removed. I would recommend changing this to: His ears still ringing from the shockwaves of Solarene's power, Dran stepped out, looking around in amazement. He turned to stare in shock at Solarene.'
I would recommend starting a new paragraph at this sentence: 'Solarene nodded numbly as Dran dismounted and helped her down.'
I notice that you use a number of semi-colons throughout this piece. One of the published authors who runs the novel workshop that I am part of noticed I used semi-colons in my chapters and told me that editors nearly always alter them as they don't like to see semi-colons in fiction. Just passing this on...
The novel workshop I am with is the Cross Timbers Novel Workshop on WDC and I have found it very helpful to improve my fantasy novel. I thought I'd let you know so you can check it out as they are always happy to have new members.
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Review of The Flower I Was.  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful and thoughtful poem. I loved how the poem moved from an image of the flower in its surroundings to how it brings joy to someone when they pick it. The idea that the flower might look up at birds and wish it can fly like them is an original and interesting one. Though this is just a short poem, you pack a lot of meaning into it and it is easy to follow.
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Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a thoughtful and powerful poem that had me thinking deeply about mirrors. I will be looking at the humble mirror in a new light now! It obviously took a lot of time to put this piece together and the imagery was particularly striking. There were some lovely moments of humour e.g. the ladies staring at the mirror as if they have no manners. I enjoyed the allusion to Narcissus and Hera and how the mirror might become a kind of curse to vain people. I also like the fact that, other than the title, it wasn't obvious that this poem was about a mirror in the first few stanzas.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was struck by the amusing title of this piece. The first paragraph was great as it surprised me and made me both wonder and fear what the narrating character means by waiting to kill... I like how you kept what the key character means to kill hidden until later in the story, dropping sinister hints about scythes and choosing the right tools. It was another surprise when they got caught by their husband, before you finally revealed that what is actually going to be killed is a weed that has been an eyesore. Then there was another twist at the end as the husband reacts by grabbing the key character by the throat! Overall, this was a fast paced story that held the interest well.
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Review of Birds  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful and touching poem. The contemplative tone of the poem and use of imagery suits the subject matter as the sight of the birds turns to musings on romance and how special the natural world is. From the fact these birds coo, I image they are doves or even pigeons, birds which we are familiar with but which often are overlooked. I too am struck by how faithful and loving they can be when I watch them sat on telegraph wires nuzzling each other so I could fully understand the sentiments in this poem.
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Review of The Chair  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a great idea for a poem as we all have chairs in our lives and don't normally give them a second thought. Your imagery was beautiful and appealed to the senses in a way which meant I could picture things beside the chair, like the waterlilies, foxes and mangoes. My favourite image has to be the one of Moses in his basket and how the chair become like a basket that can carry the person sitting on it to realms of knowledge and fancy as they sit at their writing desk.
I loved your wonderful poetry collection, 'Rainbow Orphan,' and I've just reviewed it on Amazon. Sorry it took a while to read and I liked looking back through the poems, I find the more I read them the more meanings came out - a sure sign of a great poem. Here is the review: https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R2FEG7OPN9N05C/ref...
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Review of Breakthrough  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful story and such an original idea. You write so well from the point of view of the dog. It was perceptive as to what a dog might think to humans having 'toys' and the dog's need to be on the alert in case he needs to protect his master. So many of your descriptions from the dog's view point made me smile. I loved where the dog says his master has grey fur on his head that looks like his own fur and the master chewing his 'white stick' and seemingly getting angry with his toys.
The piece is well written and easy to follow. The pace is just right and it held my interest throughout.
I felt sorry for the dog getting shut outside in the cold for the night on one occasion. I imagine he would be shut in an outhouse or something though, rather than just left outside to roam in case he got lost permanently? Alternatively, if you do mean he was left outside in the grounds outside the house then maybe mention that he wouldn't leave and sat by the door hoping to be let back in?
From the E=MC² at the end, I infer that the story is told from the point of view of Einstein's fox terrier Chico? I didn't realise Einstein had dogs and, being a dog lover, I had fun looking the dog up. It might be nice to add a brief end note giving a summary of Chico and Einstein for readers who want to know more.
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Review of Scent of Rain  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is so evocative - I love how it uses the senses, especially the sense of smell which a lot of authors forget to mention when describing rain. Although it is only a short poem, it creates a clear and full picture of the scene.
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Review of Into The Woodland  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the firefly image because of the way this conveys the emotion of the poem showing the joy of being in a beautiful woodland. You conveyed the setting beautifully through the words and poetic form. It was a magical end to see a fairy and the earlier part of the poem prepared the reader well for this.
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Review of Port Raid 2006  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a pretty picture. I love the bridge going from the woods through the azure blue sky. It looks delicate like it is constructed from bamboo. I also like the fairytale mushrooms about the base of the bridge.
What is the Port Raid Contest? We’re you a judge?
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Review of Chronos  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a vivid poem! I love how you personify time into a cruel god or king. I liked the contrast of the patience of the tickling clock and the way it ultimately is a murderer as it steals time that we wish might go on for ever. The way in which you interspersed each stanza with a 'Tick' was a great way of conveying the passage of time. You used poetic form well and this poem was nicely written.
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Review of Azura  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the idea of this story where Azura isn't aware she is surrounded by animals. You write well and did a great job of making me feel like I was part of the scene. This piece stays well in Azura' perspective so we can understand her character though her thoughts and actions. Having so many realistic everyday details grounds the story and makes the usual happenings an indications of a fantasy element to this story sound believable.
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Review of The Search  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem told a great story. I enjoyed the contrast in emotion as the king's men don't know why the princess is heading out into the eerie wood to meet a wolf. I enjoyed the story about the man cursed to be a wolf and I'm pleased the princess could become a wolf too and live happily ever after. Being a wolf sometimes would be fun and the wolf cubs sound cute.
I wondered if 'but' might work better than 'and' here to create even more of a contrast between the reaction of the men and the reaction of the princess:
'The men froze in their tracks and the Princess
was all smiles and held out her arms.'
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow- this it s a wonderful poem. It is powerful snd moving and beautifully written. You conjure up the emotions of love and loss so well. The poem tells a clear story in a few words. I admired how the last stanza summed up the fraught emotions described in the poem, also how you used imagery.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another powerful and punchy poem. The title grabbed my attention. I liked how you waited until the last line to fully reveal the metaphor about life and happiness being a gamble.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This was an intriguing title and you did a great way of conveying the surprise you had when you saw the minister dressed as a Roman Soldier and how effective this was at getting the congregation to think about how it felt for the soldiers who crucified Jesus. This leads to some great thoughts about world peace and spreading Jesus’s message of love and forgiveness.
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Review of The truth untold  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a powerful poem. I love the contradictions that you introduce in their emotions and their situation is intriguing. I would love to know more about their background and why they feel this way. The poem is all the more powerful because it is concise and repeats to give it a strong sense of rhythm. It might also work as a song because of this as lyrics often repeat.
Did you mean goats or ghost here: 'It haunts me like a goats,' - Just thought I'd check. It made me smile and feel intrigued if it is goats!
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a wonderful story and I loved every word. You do a good job of conveying the world the sisters live in. It sounds magical and fascinating. I like how Isapera is like Santa and delivers presents to children. It's good there are not as many bad children as then she would have to give away her coal and I expect she needs coal fires to keep cosy in her snowy kingdom! You also blend in elements of snow goddesses, such as she takes care of animals in winter. I enjoyed this story and the characters.
Some lovely names here - Isapera, Frey, Leonardo, Romanoff.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This is beautiful! The image of the waves kissing the shore and leaving shells like treasures behind is gorgeous and fits perfectly. I liked how you related it back to the treasures God leaves us at the end. Beauty, hope and promises of a better tomorrow are such lovely things - we all need this in our lives.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great story - well written with tension, romance and humour. Bella had a tough choice between these guys and I liked reading what might happen if she chose Jacob. It was also good to have her musing how life might be with Edward and if she should choose him or Jacob. It shows how well you know the story. You did a good job of keeping this from Bella’s point of view and allowing readers to understand other characters through her talking and interacting with them.
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Review of Wonder  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a gorgeous poem - I love the imagery that you chose. It was nice to have clouds and skies near the start and end of the poem to add a sense of it being framed and as one. The butterflies, nymphs, fauns and dragon were fun to read about and it made me feel as if I wanted to be part of this dream world.

I noticed that there wasn't much punctuation. I see that in some modern poems punctuation is limited, but to me it needs to be there to give readers a chance to pause naturally to understand the meaning of the words. Otherwise the poem sounds hurried and the words flow into each other too fast to be enjoyed thoroughly. I would recommend punctuation as follows:

Whirling thoughts twirl behind wide eyes.

Oh, see the clouds in their disguise.

Nymphs and fauns on chariots rise,

Dreams of dragons, so old and wise,

Enchanted flowers, butterflies.

Reach for your dreams in childhood skies
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Review of Child of Frigg  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story is fantastic. I love Norse mythology so I was intrigued to see how you would incorporate it here. This story felt like reading a Norse myth and showed you familiarity with the mythology. The piece is well-written and uses the senses and point of view well to make me feel like I was part of the story. This adds an immersive power to the drama of Inga's story. The names also make this feel very much part of the Viking world
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