I found this wonderful little story while browsing by genre. I chose "Death" as the genre to explore, and I'm very glad I did! I had hoped to find a more pleasant tale than the usual 'gloom & doom' fare we generally expect and find, anytime the topic is death. This short story is exactly what I was looking for. The sorrow here is a soft sorrow and gentle. The hope is beautifully expressed and justified.
The writing is nearly flawless. That, combined with the amazingly compact (but not terse) size of the story, makes for a flowing, pleasant read. The love is even more evident, when expressed with such concise clarity.
Ghost stories are generally more to my wife, Bren's, taste than to mine, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! 'Tis a rare treat!
The Irish in my Scottish/Irish heritage makes me particularly partial to Limmericks. I know a good one when I hear one, and in this case, when I read one. This is a good one. Great lilt and rhyme! Plus, it tells a wonderfully Irish tale! This is a lovely, little poem!
I always love reading stories with a little twist, especially ones with a rhyme. This poem doesn't disappoint. The twist is there, and the rhyme is excellent. I'm a big fan of hard meter, but this poem works great without it. We who write very rigid meter oft get so intent on that one aspect that the theme and other aspects get blurry, but this poem tells its tale and tells it well.
If your question were, "Is this an impressive poem?" my answer would be, "Most definitely."
My first suggestion regards the intro rather than the work itself. I think you should delete the word 'feeble'. This is certainly not a feeble attempt. Your valentine should be proud and pleased to receive such an affectionate and well-constructed poem. There's a term that refers to the act of offering an apology before saying or doing something in expectance of failure or of insulting someone. I wish I could think of that term. This poem is far from "feeble."
The questions beginning, "Am I..." create a strong theme. The theme is 'doubt' and it holds this work together with a pleasant continuity and cohesiveness.
The metaphors "cream in your coffee" and "honey in your tea" sometimes sound cliche, but this poem is so honestly written that I find the two phrases perfectly suited here.
The imagery alternates between concrete in phrases like "Admiring your jawline" and "My mouth hung open" and metaphysical in lines like "Love doesn't lie" and "...the one in my heart." This alternation blends the dreamlike quality of 'a' love with the solid reality of 'this' love. It keeps the poem consistent and interesting.
This is an overall excellent work and needs no apology at all.
This is very good writing but much more than that, it is very insightful and conveys a powerfully emotional message about timeless love, hate, longing, and other feelings. I read this with my eyes and I understand it with my mind, but I feel it in my soul. You have made emotions as nearly tangible as I believe they can get.
You remember someone who seems to have forgotten you, and I will remember you and the depth of your words.
These lines would make very inspiring song lyrics. There is a great deal of honest truth here! I heartily recommend registering this poem with the Library of Congress Copyright Office as lyrics and try to find a reputable songwriter to add music, and a good band to record the song. Aside from the worldly possibility of the song selling, there is the inspirational aspect to consider. Music and songs can touch us in ways that nothing else can, and inspire in us faith, love, and hope.
Forget that this is an incredibly well-written article, though indeed it is. It's more than that. Much more!
Too often we see only the negatives of something OR we see only the positives. With this excellent article, this insightful author reminds us that very few of our multitude of experiences are so unidimensional.
The style and tone of this article are well suited to its content, and the content itself is (or should be) of interest to a wide audience. The content shows a splendid blend of thought and feeling. Its every point is wonderfully valid. My only criticism is the use of microtext. Honestly, it's not too bad on my computer, but here on my cellphone it's a little bit of a strain on the eyes.
This is such a great read that I hate to disappoint the author with my confession.
I leave my cellphone in an inconspicuous place in our vehicle before entering a store, restaurant, or other occupied place. Alternately at times, I turn it off before carrying it in with me. It's very unlikely that the author will ever overhear me saying the pleasant words, so I'll type them on my cellphone now ---
I greatly enjoyed reading this pleasant pastoral poem. So much so, in fact that I reread it several times just because I like its imagery and pleasant flow. The rhyme pattern is pleasant and the meter is tight enough to guide the reader without dragging us by a nose ring. An impressive bit of poetry!
The rhyme here is is flawless and the ABAB pattern suits this poem perfectly!
The iambic meter is also essentially flawless, but I tripped ever-so-slightly on the third line of the fourth verse: "And if there's one there in that lake," The second time through, I watched my step and the line was fine.
The subject theme is one that's near and dear to me, being of Scottish/Irish descent myself. The telling of the tale; the author's rational approach to Nessie's elusiveness is marvelous! I love the "maybe, but that would mean that..." contemplation!
The questions about Nessie have been debated for centuries, and there have always been firm believers, those who question hopefully, and those who doubt entirely. Now that's a marvelous situation!
I really like this poem! It's a wee bit dark but also cute and amusing. I think the poem works well *because* of that blend. That's what makes it so unique --- and I love most things that are unique. The whole poem, but especially the first two quatrains, sounds a lot like several cats I've known and loved!
Technically, this poem is "less than perfect", but the rhyme and rhythm work well and that makes it a great poem overall. Definitely a work to be proud of!
I've read this poem before, but I can't recall whether I've reviewed it before.
It's an excellent bit of writing! The imagery is vivid and precise. The theme is universal --- thoughts and emotions of one person loving another and being crushed to see that other person loving a third. IMHO, the sharpest shape in the world is the love triangle.
This poem builds to a crescendo of disappointment and envy, and this crescendo builds in me some questions.
Is it, perhaps, better to be disappointed now rather than later, since even in this dancer's presence, "her" entrance is a distraction to the partner?
How likely is it that "she" who enters will one day envy the one who danced away from future (and perhaps more bitter) disappointment?
Those questions came to my mind, but I won't ask them openly.
The overall result is an excellent, thought-provoking and emotionally charged read. So, dance on with life!
THIS I like!! LoL
There is a fine line between life and satire, and I always love to see that line used as a jumprope! Very impressive! Seriously funny!
First off, I love the way this poem begins! The crossover rhyme between 'year' and 'here' is very creative. I'm a big fan of iambic metre, so it's natural that the frist lines are my favourites. I feel a leaning toward iambic metre throughout, and I believe that this is one of the strong points of the work.
The repeated line "I have my faith and my faith is me" is an elegantly direct statement of both being and purpose. It makes a strong and simple statement that takes us right to the soul of the writer. The first instance of the line is a basic statement of being, and the second instance reaffirms and sublimates the first.
There is an innocense in this poem that a cynic might call naivete but a believer would call devotion.
The iambic opening lines make me wonder how these thoughts and words would come through, completely in iambic.
Overall, a very accomplished work. The more so, as I read that this is an early work.
Ambivalent describes very well my feelings about writing this review, and I have good reasons for feeling that way.
My first reason for feeling as I do about this work is the fact that IMHO this is very well written from a technical point of view. There is little I can offer by way of suggestion, and it has always been my belief that one should not try to improve upon that which is already perfect. It has oft been my experience that "too perfect" can easily be "imperfect." So, I offer no suggestion which might only serve to detract from a great bit of writing.
My second reason for my mixed feelings here is that I consider this author to be a good friend, but I have not been a good friend, here or elsewhere on WdC. I've been absent for an extended period, when I should have been present and providing moral support, if nothing else, for my friends. So even though I want to offer my thoughts and be supportive, I feel like the old fire brigade which arrives late at the fire. Using the hoses to wash away the ashes is not as helpful as using them to extinguish the fire and save lives and property. That's probably an odd analogy, but it's pretty much the way I feel about this.
My third reason for having mixed feelings about writing this review involves the subject matter. This is non-fiction and it's a matter of deeply emotional events. I tread softly, therefore. I have been at various times in all of the roles in this story. Dancing with one's own emotions usually yields a clearer perspective on everything, but the perspective is also usually painful.
I give you then, only my thoughts as to the author and as to the way my thoughts reflect on the story.
I've said that this story is very well written, and so it is. That in itself speaks volumes. It tells me that this author possesses an inner strength and that this strength is considerable. To write well of events which are obviously painful, is a difficult task. This writer has written well, in the midst of pain and uncertainty. Only the best and strongest of writers are able to do so. As I read this through the first time (of five or six reads), I was keenly aware that the author was experiencing stronger and stronger emotions as the story was written. In spite of (or perhaps because of) those ever more powerful feelings, this author has continued to write and write well. That's an impressive feat!
The integrity and the forgiving nature of this writer is extremely obvious. Even though the writer must have been (and perhaps still is) inwardly screaming at the torment of betrayal, we read this, "For my story, to protect their identity, ..." Having felt horribly wronged by the boyfriend, the best friend, and many other friends, the author still works to protect those who caused such pain! IMHO that's integrity and that's forgiveness!
It's a powerful statement of this author's strength and her dedication to the story. What higher praise can we give a writer? Indeed, what higher praise can we offer any human being?
I oft direct my reviews toward the writer. In this case, I'll direct them toward this writer's audience.
This article is IMHO one of the most definitive and well-written articles available to anyone who wishes to be a true poet and who is willing to learn and work toward becoming such.
I have learned a great deal from this article and I believe that anyone else who reads it will learn much as well. The ideas are presented point-by-point in a clear and well-organized manner. The wording is concise but deals with each point fully and with excellent focus.
The article covers a broad range of topics unique to the writing of poetry, but several points may also be applied to the writing of prose with immense benefit.
The style the author used is that of a friendly and knowledgeable tutor. Nothing about this is meretricious. I come away with a feeling of having sat beside a craftsman as he explained to me, a novice, the various elements of writing a review of poetry. By extension, I also gained insight into my writing of poetry itself.
My only regret is that I can't comment on every individual point the author has made here. Every point is well made and well corroborated by the author by showing the connection to every other point and to the overall process of writing poetry. I've not followed any of the links, but they're there. I will definitely look into the items the author referenced as I'm able. If this is not a perfect guide for reviewers of poetry, it comes wonderfully close!
This is a wonderously cute little tale for children!! I'll be smiling all morning, and when my surrogate grandbaby wakes up I'm going to read this to her and her parents!
Technically, this is flawless except for a couple of tiny spelling errors (*typing* errors?) which in no way diminish the charm.
My grandbaby will be spellbound by this lovely tale, as will any child who reads this or hears it read to them.
I've read two works by this author. Both are very forthright and honest. The powerful imagery obviously comes from deep in the soul of the writer. The imagery is bordered by a somewhat raw edge like an artist creating great masterpieces with a stick. Both works I've read are very readable and speak to common places in all of us. Still, I cant help but wonder what opus magnum might pour forth from this artist if a brush were used as a supplement to the stick. That stick scratches out the harsh realities we need to see, but a brush could soften the edges to remind us that not all is hopeless. This is a soul expressing itself as poetry. That's a great beginning to poetry from the soul, and that would be great poetry indeed!
This is a perfectly marvelous little tale of absolute fantasy!! Yet, I see strands of wisdom in it as well. It was delightful to read and it sparked many bright thoughts in my mind!
There are only very few technical issues, and none are so glaring as to detract from the story at all.
I am very much impressed by this story and by this author!!
The flow of precise logic in this work is reminiscent of the writing of John Donne (among my favourite writers), as is the use of very complex sentences. This is definitely writing of classical excellence.
I perceive a paradox of aloof intimacy here. It's as though the author has something tearing at her from within, and chooses quite deliberately to voice it with an affectedly dispassionate tone. That tone is quite intriguing, even to the point of mesmerization.
This is the first item I've ever read by this author, and I am very anxious to read more.
I love thinking and I love being challenged to think. This work challenged me and gave me substance to think about. It's obvious that some serious thought; some serious contemplation went into it from its very conception or even before that. It's just my kind of read!
I have little to say about the technical aspects of this piece other than the individual metaphors are very effective. The line "In cathedrals of a milky way" brings to my mind images of cathedrals filled with hundreds of lit candles. The line before it works very well, too. Eyes take in light but also reflect light, which is a key theme in this work. While our souls shine here as we gaze at the stars, the souls of the universe are shining above as they gaze down at us, for we and the stars are kindred beings at our most basic level. Very nice theme!
The rhyme pattern here works quite well, but what I like most about this limerick is the tone of seemingly good-humoured resignation to simple circumstances. The afterthought-like voice I hear says, "Ah well. So much for that idea." Very nice little poem!
I'm strange and unusual. I love most things that are strange and unusual --- except myself. So, I am definitely going to check out "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" and other songs by The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band!
The poem itself is "cool", but don't discount the importance of writing poetry. This little piece not only spoke of family; it gave them a sort-of second life apart from the one they live --- in my mind. You have made them into more than people. You've made them into inspirations for yourself and for other writers, myself included.
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