This is a very cute story and it made me giggle. I'd like to see more of it told in classic storyteller style. You know, like the old men that everyone loves to talk to not because of the story, but because of the way they tell the story. I believe once you did that, your story would have much more emotional and comedic impact.
This is a beautiful short little piece that I reread several times just to make sure I really knew what you wanted to say. The rhythm is lovely, but I have several suggestions for your word usage:
In the line:
The birds will always chirp; the mouse will always squeak
I would change mouse to mice to keep the parallelism going with the plural form of the noun in your subject.
The sun will always rise, and I will always be me
I would take out the word "and." You don't really need it, and I was once told by an experience poet that using the word and makes you look inexperienced. I feel that sometimes it's needed - but here, removing it doesn't mess up your flow.
And then just a housekeeping thing - to balance the page, I would hit "enter" about 6 times after the poem. That will make the space above and the space below even.
This has the pontential to be an interesting story, but several things are holding it back before more intensive edits can be made.
First, it is internet ettiquette to put an extra line break in between paragraphs. That will help your reader read the story.
Second, take out the things that lower your appearance of intelligence - things like the 5 "o"s in so, the multiple exclamation points, and repeating "OH MY GOD!!!!" Doing this will raise your respectability level and keep people from clicking the back button.
Finally, it just seems to me that you are a person who talks very fast. While I was reading this, it almost seemed that the words in my head were flying by. If so, you may just want to look for a way to slow it down so that your reader doesn't finish the story feeling like their head is spinning.
I think you have a lot of potential here, and if you decide to work on this piece let me know. I'll come back in and change my rating.
This is a good story, but more than a little cliche. However, I can handle that when it's as entertaining as this was.
I think when you are talking about several of the scenes, it would be more helpful to show and not to tell. More dialogue and action would have been nice instead of just being told what was going on.
I really enjoyed this piece and think it's got a lot of potential! Thanks for sharing
This is a good piece, almost gentle in tone, but I found some inconsistencies in structure. For instance, the third and fourth line of each stanza rhymes - except for in two places. In the second stanza, the rhyme is nonexistant, and in the last stanza, it is forced.
Also, there are some places that seemed like the lines should be reversed to make better sense. When writing poetry - you do not have to take on a "poetic" voice, especially when you lose your reader.
And finally, if you wish to use punctuation in a poem - please make sure it is correct. Pretend your stanza is a sentence, and then puncutate it. For instance, the first stanza should read (I also changed a little wording to help the rhythm):
I am a Witch, and proud to be.
Forever untorn
By scowls of hate
Or shows of distaste
Brought on by public scorn.
This is very strange... and not quite the "funny thing" I expected when I opened the link. It's absurdism at its worst, and I don't even know if I can tell what you have written about. I am guessing that it may be siamese twins, but then again, I could be wrong. And what's up with the spider?
Technically, Champagne is spelled incorrectly and is always capitalized.
Also, either pick to use punctuation correctly or choose not to use it at all. You should pretend the lines are sentences if you must use punctuation, because in essence, they really are. There is almost a complete lack of ending punctuation and for instance, the first stanza should read:
My cup, your saucer, our tea,
My hat, your scarf;
Our days out, carefree.
Try checking it over again - it may just be one of those things I don't "get" but then again, my humor matches most people's. This may just be something specialized for a different group of people.
This is a good opinion peice on what you like about poetry, and the things you will be looking for! I think I may have to submit some of mine into your review forum, especially one I have been having some problems with.
I agree with many of the aspects you have put in here, and think that they are good and solid guidelines for not only great poetry - but for great writing. I love the phrase "show, don't tell" and I think that is what you are getting at.
Thanks for sharing this! I think it's a great job, and a clear statement of what you are looking for.
This is interesting, but not very clear on what you are trying to get across. I have a feeling its about a story about being run down on I-94 from your description, but I didn't see much to elaborate on what happened.
All in all, I get the point that you were saved by God. That is probably the most important part.
Wow - this is beautiful and thought provoking. I had never heard these occurances described this way - and its very powerful. I love your style, and the technical perfection you have acheived.
Thanks for the read! ImagineLove
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This is a great story - its very encouraging. God does touch us all when we least expect it. Even backslid beleivers like me I really enjoy finding a well written piece that I can identify with. (and for the record, I found no blaring typoes or grammar errors)
Thanks for the read! ImagineLove
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Wow - honesty, facts, and a clear cut view of what you want. And you used the word "sass" several times. I did like it (and agree with it) so the only thing I noticed really is probably just a regional thing. The word "realise" just stuck out at me and said "hey, I look different" and I said, "yes, you (the word) are probably not from the U.S." And that is it!
Thanks for the wonderful read! ImagineLove
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The rhythm and tone are soft and smooth with some of the grit that you mention. 
I'd like to see more of it told in classic storyteller style. You know, like the old men that everyone loves to talk to not because of the story, but because of the way they tell the story. I believe once you did that, your story would have much more emotional and comedic impact.