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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/j.c.thomas
Review Requests: OFF
49 Public Reviews Given
50 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I review all aspects such as: plot, characters, themes and ideas and I also pick out typos and grammar issues, however these are not the main focus of my review and rarely affect the rating given.
I'm good at...
Reviewing fantasy, YA and erotica.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, YA, erotica, historical romance.
Least Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, biographical.
Favorite Item Types
short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
poetry
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Burning  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, as per your request I will be brutal, so here goes:

Plot- the plot is a very good idea. The story is interesting and I found myself wanting to read on, which is an achievement as this really is not my genre. The story unravels itself, revealing secrets to keep the reader hooked- I liked this a lot, leaking the abuse into the surrounding story was a good touch.

Characters: The journalists personality comes through very well. He is thrown in at the deep end and doesn't know how to deal with the overload of emotions he is experiencing.

Style- this is what I had the most issues with. There is a lot of repetition through the piece, in certain parts it works and in others it was a little too much.

A few issues:
'don’t know who faces are. ' -this should be started in a new paragraph and rephrased.
Chinook needs capitalising.
To emphasise works you should italic them rather than capitals.
'I stepped outside- she tried to talk to me but I couldn’t hear anything she said.'- grammar issues here and throughout.

Final thought:
If you want to be taken seriously as a writer never, ever use ?!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was first drawn to this because of the title- it was a good choice. The poem itself brought tears to my eyes, it is beautifully simplistic, not overwritten, and I wouldn't change a thing. It's truly beautiful. If you haven't already you should get this published in a poetry journal.
3
3
Review by j.c.thomas
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
As far as storytelling goes your imagination is great and the descriptive text uses a wide range of language making it interesting to read.
However, as for my personal opinion, I just don't get it. Why isn't she angry? Maybe the piece simply isn't long enough, you're creating a whole world in a short story which is incredibly hard. I think it needs a rewrite, getting to know the characters better to better understand their motives and feelings.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of Monsters in love  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi! love to see new vampire stuff on here.
'What can I say, being a vampire is really hard sometimes'- is by far my favourite line, it's humorous and perfect for YA fantasy.

I think you need to read this through and give a thorough edit. You change tense quite a lot and your grammar needs work (ms word should be enough for now)

When each new person speaks you need a new paragraph. Also, you need punctuation inside of the speech marks.

I can see where you're going with this story and it could make an interesting vampire-werewolf forbidden romance, but you need to work on the styling of the piece.

If you need any help editing I would be happy to help you out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I really like this. The picture first drew me in to give a review, and I was glad it did. One comment: 'Why do they turn away, why can't they stop and care' - should this have question marks? The name of the poem is a good choice, especially as it features in the verse.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, I really like the line 'blowing kisses my way' but I think the preceding one needs a bit of work. I think you should try looking up different word choices for hot, wet, etc. just to make the poem a little more interesting.
I'm guessing the 4th July features fireworks? We don't celebrate it in the UK.
A good start.
7
7
Review of Worm Meets Apple  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very witty little poem, good use of rhyming pairs especially 'pedigree', I would have struggled to find anything to rhyme with agree. A good ending too. :)
8
8
Review of Exasper  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love the way this is written, your language use is really good and it flows off the tongue just as it should. I look forward to reading more of your work.

My favourite lines:

caressed by the
proud rays of the sun,

finally free,
of the worry in me!

Keep writing. :)
9
9
Review of Yes  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, You made me cry! It' such a sad subject, but your poetry is truly beautiful.
10
10
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is a nice story, I especially like this bit of dialect : “Things change Esmeralda; like the four seasons. When one has ended you must embrace the next,”.
I think you could do with using a program like grammarly or ginger to fix your grammar and typos, eg. ours instead of hours.
Sentences like this: 'She breathed in(,) savoring the blissful wind entering her lungs(,) while her golden blond hair blew in her face.' you could easily fix yourself by just reading loud and marking where you take breaths.

Jodie
11
11
Review by j.c.thomas
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I have actually downloaded the full version of this book, it's great! I plan on buying the next one
too.
12
12
Review of Fateful Night  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, I saw your request for a review, so here goes...

First grammar- Needs improvement, an example: 'There were few signs of life stirring in the surrounding neighborhood (,) save a few orange street lamps.'

Use of language- You need to watch for repetition, such as silence is used 2 times and silent 4 times. The last paragraph uses 'there' too many times.

Dialogue- You need a bit more descriptive text after your dialogue, so it reads better. Otherwise, it's back and forth like a tennis match. Some of it also reads as it's been written rather than spoke. I think you need to read it aloud and make changes as necessary.

Plot- It's a good plot with lots of potential. The story doesn't give too much away early on to keep the reader hooked.

Themes and Ideas- The themes and ideas appear original. I think a bit of work and you could have something here.

Any questions about your review are welcome :). Good luck with your writing.
13
13
Review of Sweet dreams  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, five stars for originality. I can honestly say I have not read anything remotely similar! It is well written and engaging. I would like a little more detail on the character, Aria, her personality comes through well, making her likable, but what does she look like?
14
14
Review of Obedience  
Review by j.c.thomas
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

This certainly made me feel uncomfortable reading it! I'm guessing this is a good thing though, rather uncomfortable than bored! It is well written with only one mistake I spotted:
' I knew you fond of them,' -Typo
What I really like about this is the POV it is written from, I have never read anything like it before. Great stuff ;)
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