Not sure on why you want to answer to this one but i voted anyway, lol. Good luck with whatever it is your dreaming up. Please keep me updated on the finished piece. Vote on my poll as well. You can find it in my portfolio. Keep writing!
This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
What I liked: I liked the concept of this one. I could feel your emotion come through the words.
Suggestions: In a few of the lines it got a little bumpy. Several of the lines could be a little clearer on where I need to take my pauses while reading it. I had to re-read a few lines a couple of times to be clear.
Overall opinion: A decent piece. With a little work has the potential to be a GREAT piece. Keep up the good work and keep me updated on the status of this one!
This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
What I liked: I liked the whole thing. Very well written and enjoyable to read. I gave a 4.5 on this one!
Suggestions: I gave the 4.5 because to correctly fit you should have had one more stanza. Other than that in my opinion perfect.
Overall opinion: Very good job. Keep up the good work. i look forward to reading work or your work.
This one was written very well. It was an enjoyable piece of reading. I gave it a 4.0 because of all the commas in it, I think it could have done without most of them. Overall I enjoyed it! Keep up the good work.
Wow! I am at a loss for words. As a person who dosent personally agree with that lifestyle I was truly moved by this poem. You really conveyed your emotions on to paper in this one. A very moving piece. Whoever your friend was and whatever lifestyle he choose, he is smiling in Heaven right now because of the justice you have done for his memory, legacy and sense of being. This piece should be Published! Sorry for your loss!
I thought this was a good poem, although it would have been easier to read if in a different format and not in red. Other than that I enjoyed the actual writing. Keep up the good work.
I liked to concept for this poem! With that being said I do not think you rhyme patter is consistent, and the flow of the poem is just a little of. When I read the Poem out loud it seems to "not fit on certain parts". I think if you do a small revision and tighten up the rhyming pattern and remove or add a few words this will be a very nice poem, possibly even for publication. This one definetly has potential.
Examples: you need some better rhymes on a few of the lines like in stanza 1, 3 (you and echo are not even close to rhyming)5, and 6
Not sure I understand this one, I didnt get the feeling of love relayed when i read this. In my opinion you used too many big words. Nice concept though
I liked this allot. The only question i have is why didnt you stick to the same format in the 4th verse. If this would have been done i would have gave you a 4.5 rating! You are very talented, keep up the good work! Joe h.
I liked it, I liked how you used wordplay in the begining to elevate the conclusion. I would like to see the words fit a little better though, but over all a good peice of work. Congrats!
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