I didn't understand how he would pay through taxes. You get good Madlibs. I have some and the words get mixed up every time someone tries it. It doesn't make sense. Your's does. The numbers are in the right spaces and everything. It's a cute story. Nothing bad happens. You don't bite the dentist's fingers. There is good spelling and grammar. Write on!!
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I loved the story of a first date. You captured the feelings of a couple in that situation perfectly. People are basically shy or just don't want to be rejected. We marry who we date, so at first we are hard to please. Then something happens to make the couple ONE. Your story was well worded for realism and has good grammar and spelling. Thank you for sharing. Write on!!
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You got a lot of stars from everyone, including me. I'm a child at heart. It's pretty scary, just right for Halloween October. I like the mysterious black and white photo at the end. I think it must be a cemetary. I admire poets. I bought a rhyming dictionary wanting to do it, but it didn't work out. You do good work. Keep writing!!
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Australia was the last frontier on earth to conquer. You must have roots elsewhere and that is Norway and Ireland. Your poem shows your pride in your European roots wearing green probably for a St. Patrick's Day holiday.
I always admire people that can write poetry. You expressed yourself well with prose.
I would like to hear more of Mary Brennan of the Isle of Magee, as my Uncle's name was a derivative. We must be very distantly related. Genealogy is always interesting. I will have to read more of your work. Write on!!
My goodness. This is beautiful. Everyone should have a look see at this one CountryMom. It reminds us of what our forefathers fought for 228 years ago, Old Glory with red, white and blue. The huge cannons firing from the battleship remind us of our many battles in the past and those we have in the present. If I could give six stars, if I would. Write on!!
This is a prologue to what is really an autobiography leaving us wanting more with the words, "Little did we know that everything was about to change." With an uncle Policeman filling an early journal, we know that the story is an attention grabber.
Be sure to change "god" to "God." Otherwise I saw no mistakes in punctuation, grammar or spelling.
Good luck in your career. By the time you are my age you will have 60 published novels with many best sellers. I believe one will be:
I tried reviewing this before and messed up. Maybe I'm senile already. It's hard to sum up a book in a few paragraphs for the symoposis. There are all the elements of a good book with loyalty, betrayal, deep friendship and deeper enemies. You will be impressed with the Prologue and will grab your attention taking you into the first chapter and further on. The grammar, punctuation and spelling is outstanding. You did well. This is not fluff. Write on!!
This is a great beginning to a novel or is it an autobiography? You end the Prologue with a question to draw the reader to the book, "Little did we know that everything was about to change."
I saw no spelling errors, except that god should be capitalized: God.
I wanted to correct my mistake saying that your other novel's synopsis didn't make it sound interesting enough. I reread it and you do say there is betrayal and other aspects to make it interesting. I apologize for my review. Readers should be sure to read and review:
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I'm not an expert, but I believe that both of your novels will do well. The other may be a best seller,a s it is unusual. I know it was a lot of tedious work with the Thesaurus. Readers don't realize that. They think that you just sit and write the entire story in one afternoon. Not so.
You are so young. By the time you are my age, you will have at least published books, with lots of best sellers. This is not a fluffy review. You deserve it. Write on!!
I realize that that is a synopsis, an inkling of a greater work. You are explaining 250 pages in a few paragraphs.
You want honesty. I think you need an attention grabber. It reads like my history book with the names of neanderthals and prehistoric man replaced. You need more intrigue and some romance. A book is 250 pages and to keep the attention of the reader, twist the story. Keep track of the questions the reader may have, as you must answer all the questions by the end of the book. Add jealousy, and add confusion. Twist it. Twist it. Twist it.
I'm not Margaret Mitchell. This is just my opinion. You do good work. Everything is well presented, without spelling or punctuation error. You just need more intrique, something different than our history books. I will try to be in your contest to help you, but there is lots of competition.
You may think that me being a comedy writer doesn't give cloat, but my stories are mystery too. I'm told they at least keep the reader's attention without the detail of a book.
You must have the publisher to put your precious book that takes so long to do on a website. I know you love your characters, as I have written books. They are like your children. You need to make money from it. You need the Lamborghini. Good luck and write on!!
As always you deliver a beautiful story. I send you both prizes and this will be highlighted with hte bitem number at my post for all to read. You said you had no funny story. This is funny. Frogs in the bathroom on your honeymoon. You can look back and laugh. Today you win Julie's Romantic Contest. You already have the prize. Write on!!
I just read a poem about being through so much hell that you are blind to the "good." With this poem Sarah wants to be blind to shut out the bad. She is shutting out the "good" as well. I see this was a contest and hope that you won. It made me think. Write on!!
This is a good poem to read. Everyone has had a treacherous day or two causing wear to confidence and optimism. It's hard to see the soft green light filtering through the trees sometimes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
This is well written, without error. I like the bold italics for drama. I'll have to visit your friends port as well as yours. Write on!!
This is not perfect as it's obvious that we write on a computer these days. Maybe some people write in longhand; then go to the City Library. Okay. I'm wrong. I like the living, room because there is the TV, piano and stereo to divert me at times for a break and sometimes give me ideas. My ideal situation would be to have a window with a breathtaking view and a table to work on a veranda also with a breathtaking view, or beautifully landscaped pool. This is what I am trying to get. If you read about insomnia, you will learn the bedroom is for sleep and sex only. This condition can be threatening. Thank you for the helpful poll. Write on!!
Don't forget that Saturday and Sunday is "Black Case Domination" Review weekend.
My vote didn't do well. Maybe I'm too careful. In applying for a secretary job for the Dean of the College of Humanities at BYU, the present secretary was making a flyer that read, "A ship in a harbor is safe, but sitting in a harbor is not what the ship is made for." Thank you for the helpful poll. Write on!!
Don't forget that Saturday and Sunday is "Black Case Domination" Review weekend.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. It's awful about the blast. Kitty was lucky to be sitting at the window waiting for Cramer, thrown to safety; the others were not so lucky.
The literature world is lucky to have you in your retirement. I hope you write many more. I see nothing wrong. Write on!!
Don't forget that this Saturday and Sunday is "Black Case Domination" Review weekend!
I voted for Bugs Bunny vs. Daffy Duck. They are favorites. You didn't have Porky Pig. I don't think he fights with anyone. It's too hard to get the words out.
This is a great poll. I'm sending a for your efforts.
Remember this is "BLACK CASE DOMINATION" Review Weekend.
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Great sight. This is a good place to find friends and camarderie. I see my Black Case Domination Friends.
In the paragraph called Forums, it should be within (one word). Otherwise this is perfect, lots to do and lots fo learn, a service to the members of WDC. Write on!!
This post is a clever idea. I hope you can figure out what is happening to the parrot and the pirates. Only you have the entire story. What a *read* it would make. This is a wonderful way for the members to get a little bit acquainted by our sense of humor and creativity. Write on!!
I will have to buy a cockatoo (one that likes dogs). This was an exciting tale. What is an expletive? I looked it up. It means profane, or vulgar. Oh my God. Wash his beak with soap. We have to be careful what we say in front of those who mimic or paraphrase.
As always your tale was excellently written. If I recall correctly you are making a movie. Put the bird in a different room when the producer comes.
Good luck with the contest. I loved your story. Write on!!
An almost perfect account of Meat Loaf. I wish that you wrote more of him chasing the mouse on your camping trip.
It's always sad to hear of their end, as we all hold our pets dear.
This is beautifully written, not a comma out of place. You might put the title in caps. This contest will be hard to judge, with some accomplished writers like yourself. Thank you for sharing. Write on!!
The article contains vital information to help authors create their own money making article. She explains how needed "the article" truly is, as people are hungry for all sorts of information. This is well researched and a necessary item. Unlike some authors (me) I see there are no typos. Well done. Write on!!
It's beautiful, but I saw and "i" instead of "I." This is very minor. I like the way it is set up. I would center it, but it's up to the author. You want to be different. I like the way you have your name. I love it. Overall it's a good piece. Write on!!
I have respect for those who write poetry. This is a great piece, simply with those things that brighten your day. You remind us of the simple things of life making our stay on earth more worthwhile. I will have to check out your portfolio for more. Write on!!
I'm in movies too. It looks like I will have to borrow money to celebrate too. I'm glad to see that I am not alone. Maybe we should all unite. Keep writing about mystery and detectives. Comedy isn't popular with publishers. You want to eat and be able to get that Lamborghini some day. Write on!!
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