Wow! I love that. It has so much emotion and raw energy. I love the words that you used in this:
"Coloring in her cheeks, rosy and affectionate.
Coloring and humming, humming and coloring,
Precisely, unhurried, methodical."
I love this because anyone who has been abused... at anytime in their life (not just children) could definetely relate to this! (Soft voices cheat little kids Making them do things, Things they don’t want to do, Shoving them into twisted corners with no way out.)
Wow... That's all I can say. I don't see anything I would change about it really. It seems to be a great length, the word usage is wonderful, the punctuation is good--it's all good! Nice job my frien!
Either you've been doing a lot of research on poetry, or you have a lot of talent, maybe it's both, but for this being only your second poem, it's beautiful. Pointless but the imagery and feelings are good, and I'd really like to encourage you to keep writing. Trust me, it's all practice, practice, practice!!! Keep it up! Nice work!!
This poem is wonderful. I can't think of anything that you could improve. There's no grammatical errors that I found, and you can feel and see all that your poem is. It's just a treat that there's a story line that also goes in with this poem. Very nice work, and I give you a 5 on this. I love it, and keep up the good work!
Wow, I wish you would feel like that about me... hehe. Yeah, any guy actually lol. This girl was very lucky. Great poem, and I would be applauding if u did or do give this to her!
I think this one has some good potential, but however, it is not finished it seems. I think if you added more to it and had the boy gain some control in one way or another, it would help endlessly. Good job though.
awesome use of words! I love this, it seems short, and to the point, which is a good thing sometimes. Great job. Thanx for reviewing all my stuff too. If you want more I have more you could read, lol.
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