Not even done reading but I must write this now: chills, okay I'll be back in a minute... Okay done. I like the poem, looking over it I don't even think I can find anything to say you can fix... Nope went back and scanned it and couldn't find anything. Granted someone with professional writing experience might be able to pick this apart, but I love it.
Writer's block something we all experience and no one likes. Over all I like the poem, but I have a few notes (mostly 'cause I'm a bit picky). " Can not" as you wrote it in the third stanza is actually supposed to be "Cannot" one word not two. The second thing just irks me and I'm not sure why: the last two lines are bothering me and I don't know why. The closest thing I've come up with is that it doesn't seem to actually fit the condition you described, even though it does fit perfectly.
Ah metaphors how I love you so. Okay now that is out of the way I can get to the real review. The rhyme scheme is not forced, I like that, there is a rhythm to it, a beat if you will, but it isn't so strong that it's overpowering the rest of the poem, I'm not fond of poems where it's clear the poet thought that in order to write a good poem there had to be an overload of rhyming, you didn't good job!
I'm not sure this is truly from God's perspective because at the very end you say 'God' and when is the last time you referred to yourself in the third person like that. I did agree with what you were saying though, if everyone loved everyone the world would be a better place and love is love. One extra thing, I loved the sandhill cranes thing, but then again their snootiness amuses me, they walk as slowly as they want across the road, almost knowing no oone with bother them.
Not about way this is set up, this way, it was a little confusing because I read the second chapter first and then the first chapter, but for the most part I got it. This should be really interesting if you decide to continue writing it. The idea that his human bit is getting stronger is interesting, especially from his perspective.
Death is an awful thing, especially the death of a child. A delicate subject you approached with grace. As much as I love the mother in this story I can't help but wonder abot the background character, that being the woman who gave the mother the locket. I really want to know what her story is. Is she a kind nurse, is she a never-was-to-be mother like the main character, or was she something a little more special?
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