Although I am not experienced in writing poetry enough to thoroughly review it on the more technical aspect of things, however, I can tell you that I enjoyed reading this piece. It is well written and no mistakes found in spelling or grammar.
"So why are so many who go through life in perpetual sadness the biggest dreamers of us all?"
I especially liked this line and know myself the truth of it. I am a very big dreamer and find myself sad more than I can count. Maybe because I long for my dreams to come true and have yet to accomplish that.
I thought this was a very well written piece. I don't know what your intentions were when you wrote this, but I felt it as a reminder that no matter what happens, you'll get up and go on.
I enjoyed reading this and hope yoiu keep up the great writing.
I thought this was perfect. I couldn't find anything wrong with it. I think it describes the moving on after a heart break, and done quite well, I might add. Made me think of my past and feelings I had felt so long ago.
I thought this was great. I truly enjoyed reading this and know what it's like to dream. I spend a lot of my time day-dreaming too.
I did find you could split the first paragraph into two.
Whisk me away into another world she dreamed. She longed to live in a far off land she only read about in books. She dreamed of escape from this monotonous existence she called life. She hides behind school and books and daydreams the daylight hours away. At night her world comes alive, myth becomes truth and truth becomes myth. Things that stir in the shadows come out to play, while she dreams the night away. (I would make this a separate paragraph ) This is her escape, her freedom, her joy in life. She reads a book and the people illuminate on the page for her. She dreams she was special, that there was some spark about her. If that spark would only light then her life would be magical. But that spark remains unlit and when the alarm clock rings she is forced to face reality.
Other than that, I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors. Everything flowed smoothly for me.
I thought you did a good job with this. You made me stop and think for a moment while reading. Perfect.
The only thing I would recommend, I would line it up like this...
What is to await me in my dreams yet unearthed?
What mystery hides behind my secrets' veil?
What words does my pen long to write?
Will I ever know these questions left unanswered?
When will death take me?
Etc....
Just a suggestion. To me it would make it easier to read. Everything flowed together when I read it as is.
Other wise I think you did a great job!
Keep up the good writing!
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