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1,126 Public Reviews Given
1,218 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Carla,

I thought this was very well written and a nice telling of a place that burned to the ground. It sounds like a warm and inviting place to go. I would have enjoyed such a wonderful place.

I did notice a couple of things. I would put a line space after your name and another line space after and before "The hope throughout..." because it's a new paragraph or thought.

But remember these are just my suggestions and you are welcome to use them or not. It's compeletely up to you.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of My darling boy  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Danen!

Welcome to WDC! I hope you enjoy your stay here. The community is wonderful and full of great advice and friendship.

I found this piece and read it for the name and description. And I have to tell you that I thought it was wonderful.

You brought me to tears with your selflessness and warmth and loving. You poured your heart into this piece. I can't say that I know how you feel as I have 3 healthy children, but I came close to loosing my now 3 year old son twice within the first 3 months of his life. I wasn't as selfless. I was very selfish and couldn't let go. I don't know what I would have done without him and still don't to this day.

I wish you luck and courage and the strength. My heart goes out to you.

I couldn't find a thing wrong with this piece. I hope you keep up the beautiful and heartfelt writing.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Demlou!

Welcome to WDC! I hope you enjoy your stay here. The community is wonderful and full of great advice and friendship.

I thought this to be interesting and well written. I thought about your words and what my actions can be. I think you are right and did a great job.

I've made a few suggestions below. They are yours to take if you choose and if you don't, it's up to you.

Taking the above into consideration someone could thing (think) how can flirting be converted into a tool for communicating LOVE!

The quality of any action is based on the motive (emotional sub-conscious) if flirting is effected to uncover the brilliant human qualities in another person as a consideration for the well-being of other human beings then it is at that point that (in which) it starts to work as tool or a means for communicating LOVE from one person to another.

(I think this sentence is overly long. I think you could break it down a little more. Also the word "effected" didn't work for me in the meaning of your sentence. I don't know what you would want to change it to if at all.)

Its (It's) absolutely energetic and beneficial for everyone and hence its (it's) worth the trouble and time for each one of us to assess it and entail into it.


Again, please remember these are simply my suggestions, nothing more. If you choose to take them, it's up to you.

I hope to see more of your work in the future!

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of FRIEND  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow Temperance,

I am truly enjoying reading your work. I think it's great and I truly loved this one. I have two friends that fall into this category and think it's a great tribute to them. Friends don't always realize what they mean to you until you give them something special as this.

Excellent job!

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of A PROMISE  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again Temperance,

I found this piece and thought to read it as I love poetry and especially love poetry.

I think you did a great job. I'm not great at reviewing poetry as I don't write it. The best I can give you is what I thought and whether there were any grammar or spelling errors.

This one, I thought was great and didn't find anything to make note of.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Temperance,

Welcome to WDC! I think you're going to love it here. It's a great community and lots of great advice.

I read this piece simply for the name. I truly enjoyed it and think you could label this as poetry instead of other. But this is truly to up you.

I thought about your words and know in my heart that I share those feelings for the man I love. *Smile* I think you did a good job! Hope to see more of your work.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of L'hiver de Langue  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cat-Claws,

5 of 5 Reviews you won from "Invalid Item" .

I thought you did a great job on this. Not that I need a reminding that winter is coming as it's here, or at least should be now.

I liked the color and thought you did a wonderful job. I didn't find a thing wrong.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of Elements of Life  
Review by Kris
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Cat-Claws,

4 of 5 Reviews you won from "Invalid Item" .

Wow! This was truly interesting. I thought it was cute and great for a teen or younger reader. I thought you did a great job and I'm going to recommend that my daughter read this, she likes things like this.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cat-Claws,

3 of 5 Reviews you won from "Invalid Item" .

I thought this was great. I liked the layout, made it easier for me to read.

I couldn't find a thing to make note of and think you could go much further with this. I truly enjoyed reading this piece.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of 'Legon!  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cat-Claws,

2 of 5 Reviews you won from "Invalid Item" .

I found this to be adorable! *Smile* I had to laugh at the thought of this dragon finding a reason to live simply to torment a bunch of kids.

I listed a few things below. Mind you these are just my suggestions and you're welcome to use them or not. It's completely up to you.

The dragon heaved a sigh, his great snout emitting dark, gray smokes. *red*(smoke)

The giant reptile staggered into his dark cave and lied *red*(lay) down

His eyes didn’t shine their usual violet rays like they used to be *red* (remove "be")



Keep up the great writing!

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Review of A Mother's Love  
Review by Kris
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Cat-Claws,

1 of 5 Reviews won at "Invalid Item" .

I thought you did a wonderful job on this. I am a mother of 3 and can't imagine loosing one of my children. I couldn't find a thing wrong and I like the layout.

I think this is a wonderful tribute to those lost.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

4 of 5 Gifted reviews from intuey

Oh MY! I would have been sooooo embarrassed! Gotta Love Kids! I'm sorry I had to laugh and think of what my nearly 3 year old son would have done and I can imagine him doing the same thing or nearly.

I thought this was awesome and you've done a wonderful job sharing your family with us and I love it!

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

2 of 5 Gifted reviews from intuey .

I thought you did a wonderful job on this. I thought it was a nice telling of a moment with your family. *Smile* You had me smiling.

I made a few word corrections below. If you want to use them, it's up to you, if not, no problem. Remember these are simply my suggestions.

My son Jordan comes flying toward's me and shoots be (me) right upside the head. My husband;s (husband's) sees this from the corner of his eye and replies,

"Ah-ha!" (space needed) I had different plans long learned from experiences in our active family and be so gender out numbered.

I wasn't letting up when we were intervened. (interrupted)

I prevailed with alot of determination and sqerming (squirming).

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I've read some of your work in the past and thought to read this out of curiosity. I found it interesting and honest. I found myself smiling at some of the comments you've made and remember a couple of the items I've read and reviewed of yours.

It's nice to know more about the person I'm R&Ring. It gives me a better insight into the reasons behind your writing and you yourself.

Great job and thank you for sharing.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I thought you did a wonderful job on this piece. I enjoyed reading it and felt there was a lot of truth in your words. *Smile*

I couldn't find anything wrong that would warrant making a note of. I thought it was perfect and you get your meaning across at least to me.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Becky,

I honestly loved this one. I truly enjoy your writing and hope to see more of your work in the future. I thought this was wonderfully done and I couldn't find a thing wrong.

Although I don't write poetry, I truly enjoy reading great poems.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

I thought to read this piece as well of yours and I loved the second ending. I laughed picturing this weird looking animal.

I did find that towards the top where you had some speaking it was clumped together. I think you could break that down into their own paragraphs. It simply makes it easier to follow.

Other than that, I loved this and thought it was an adorable story.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

I came across this piece and thought to read it as I'm in the Christmas mood and thought a nice Christmas story would be good today.

I thoroughly enjoyed your tale. I had to laugh towards the end, although I felt guilty, I couldn't help it. I could picture this elaborate Christmas scene all set up and thought that he's no better than most people I know. Trying to outdo the other.

I liked the message you conveyed and think that you could break it down and maybe make this a little longer. You lost me a couple of times while I was reading.

I think this has great potential for becoming something longer.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of The Pull  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Asp & Welcome To WDC!

I thought this was very heartfelt and well done. I enjoyed reading it and thought of the times when I had felt the same way.

I have made note of a few things below. They are my suggestions and up to you whether you want to use them or not. I don't write poetry, but I love to read it.

Something a (I) can barely describe,

Its (It's) torture not knowing

I hope to read more of your work in the future.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review by Kris
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Rayne,

I decided to read this one simply because you're right, a scent, a song, or something similar can always take you back to a certain memory.

I thought this was beautiful and heartfelt. It's difficult to remember when you've lost someone so special.

I did however make note of a few things below. I've also made some comments or suggestions. Remember they are completely up to you to use or not.

I shuffle my way through a Sears department store, thinking silently to myself that although it's coming up to a year, it still feels fresh. This still feels: (remove the colon) different walking by myself, without her hand proudly in mine.

If she were here, would she tug at my sleeve like she would (change would to "used") to gentle show her impatience? would (Would) she roll her eyes when I stop to look at the New Years dresses? If she where here, would she tell me what love awaits me when we get back to our home? would (Would) she sing along with the christmas music being played throughout the store?

I make a detour around the Bed n' Bath section and continue slowly past the Fine Fragrances. I spot a familliar bottle on the counter and as my focus narrows to the perfume, I walk slowly over. I'm in my own little world and I know all too well what's about to happen.
(I would put a space here between lines)
Dare I?
(I would put a space here between lines)
I pick up the bottle innocently in my fragile hands. I had stopped paying attention to the music and the atmosphere around me when I first laid eyes on the bottle. I glide my fingers along the contour of the glass and imagine the same shape cradled in her hands.
(I would put a space here between lines)
I can't help it...
(I would put a space here between lines)
I slowly close my eyes as i (I) bring the bottle to my nose. No sooner than I being (begin to) inhale I feel myself being shot back. Back not to a place, but to a feeling, a sence (sense) of completion that my partner bestowed on my very soul. Everyone knows scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. My eyes start to well up at the memory of when her skin smelled faintly of this luxury.
(I would put a space here between lines)
I don't know why I do this to myself.

"Hi there," I hear a gentle voice that pursuades me back to reality. A meek middle-aged sales woman greets me with a questioning look.
(I would put a space here between lines)
"oh..hi..i um..." (Oh...Hi...I um...) I smile, wipe a tear and blush in fear my personal agony has become obvious.
(I would put a space here between lines)
"you (You) like that one?" she says sofly in a singsong voice, I wanted to melt right there and then into a puddle on the floor, but somehow found the strength to stay standing.
(I would put a space here between lines)
"oh...no, i mean yes, i do...it's just..." (Oh...no, I mean yes, I do...it's just...) I look down at the bottle, and grin. I decide not to bother thinking about what's appropriate to say, long-term lesbian relationships aren't as (remove as) uncommon around here. I try to mask my sniffles as I meet her eyes again.
(I would put a space here between lines)
"my (My) wife used to wear this, she's..." my voice weakened, I hated saying it, almost like if I didn't hear it out loud it wasn't really true. "...she's been gone almost a year now, but i (I) can't walk by without...y'know..." I force a smile as I show her which bottle i'd (I'd) been holding. Her expression softens as her joyful christmas confidance had eased into a sympathetic melonchony and for that moment, the stranger joined me while I moured. I thanked her for sales-person-hospitality and placed the fragrance back on the counter.

Slowly the room, the music, the shelves and the items for sale re-appear although in fact they never actually moved. I make my way to the doors and leave the building as alone as i'd (I'd) entered, hoping to myself I can get through the upcoming christmas, and the rest of my life for that matter, without her.



Keep up the great writing!

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Review of inspired  
Review by Kris
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

I found this to be interesting and tender. I enjoyed reading it and thought you could do more with this if you chose. You could continue it or not.

I could picture the entire scene and felt relaxed as I read. I couldn't find anything wrong to make note of.

Great Job and I hope to see more of your work in the future!

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of Night's Solace  
Review by Kris
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I can honestly say, that when I started to read this, I was enthralled. At first I thought I was going to be bored to death. I mean how can someone ramble on like this for so long. However, I wasn't bored. I found it very interesting and captivating.

I didn't find a thing wrong and thought you did a wonderful Job. I hope to read more of your work in the future.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of Magic Mirror  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought you did a wonderful job on this. I found it to be cute and endearing to a little child. I loved the image you used. I thought it suited perfectly.

I couldn't find a thing wrong. I truly enjoyed reading this piece.

Wonderful job and I hope to read more of your work in the future.

Keep up the great writing!

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Review of This is me  
Review by Kris
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello and Welcome to WDC!

I thought this was well written and interesting. I think you did a great job!

I did find one thing that I have made note of below.

Watch my sigh. (me)

Now I don't know if you intended it to be my or not, but for me it would read better with me instead of my.

However remember this is my opinion and you are free to take it or not.

I hope to see you around and I hope you enjoy your time here at WDC.


Keep up the great writing!

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Review of One Last Poem  
Review by Kris
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Although I can't be more technical when it comes to reviewing poetry, I can tell you this is filled with heart and love. I enjoyed reading it and felt the pain of loss.

I think this is absolutely perfect and straight from the heart. To me it doesn't matter about form or technicality.

Great job. Truly a beautiful piece.

Keep up the great writing!

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