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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by kumarrr
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
It's really nicely written, good prose, the narrative keeps you interested.
Just a couple of things though.
Maybe you might wanna consider swearing a little less in your work. I can understand that in a lot of places it was for effect and realism, but in quite a few places it seemed a little pushed.
Also, some of the dialogue between the characters seems a little flat and cliche. Try and fix that and you're good to go!
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Review of Foster Street  
Review by kumarrr
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey Deborah,
Your piece of flash fiction is really nicely written, love the use of language, and it's pretty impactful.
However, as a humble suggestion, maybe try and improve the beginning a little bit, with some sort of hook. You really enjoy doing descriptions, and you're very good at it, but maybe try and tone down just a little bit on those?
Otherwise it's really nice.
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