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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ladym3575
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17 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Hi. I'm not super experienced with giving reviews so I stay away from technical stuff. I prefer short stories. I generally share what I liked and didn't like about the story. I usually give an example of what I think overall and whether or not it has grabbed my attention making me want more of the story. I hope to get more experienced so that I can be more helpful in the future
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good morning PraiseofFolly. I am a newbie here on WdC, so please take my review with a grain of salt.
Below are my thoughts:

A review of "The meal you made yourself"

First impression:
I really like your description, "This poem describes uneasy feelings, intrusive thoughts, and long episodes of crying." I was able to relate.

What I liked:
My heart was pounding as I read this. I could feel the despair in your words as the desire to "get clean" was gathering.

Favorite lines:
"salt stained cheeks"

Below are my suggestion(s). Please use or ignore them as you see fit.
The first section uses I statements and the rest are You statements. I would choose one and use it throughout the poem.

Final thoughts:
As stated earlier I was able to identify with the described feelings and feel the characters pain. I appreciated the message to just "take it all in." Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My Child  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good morning Sinbad. Interesting take on parenting. You've really got me thinking. My initial feeling is that I do not agree with some of the statements in the first verse. Of course, that just means that the chosen statements have different meanings to us. I love a thought provoking read. To me, one must foster (not the right word perhaps) the ideas in verse one to allow the ideas in verse two to occur. Verse three of course, should be universal. Either perspective, I loved this. Thank for for sharing


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Chat  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good morning! Lovely little story. I especially like your use of the prompt "chat." Very creative.
Your last line " Savour every moment she could get away with anything" leaves me wanting more. I identify with Amy, being guilty of some boyfriend sneaking in my younger years, and would love to hear about her escapades. Thanks for sharing


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of I HAD A FRIEND  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Monty. I love this. The first few lines led me to believe you were speaking of another soldier. By the end, for me anyway, it was a verse to God. Either way, your words are powerful.

Truly appreciate your service to our country.
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Review of The Visit  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good morning. Well done! Great imagery. I could see and smell the shack. I was able to feel her brother and his way his life. The ending left me wanting more. I want to hear her side of dining in a shack, rather than a mansion.

Great use of spacing. It is so much easier to read submissions with the paragraphs broken down, rather than the continuous lines in many submissions.

Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Narrow Alley  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good morning DyrHearte.

I truly love this piece. I often write about addiction and its recovery and this poem made me feel those feelings.

Certainly not assuming that is your topic. But, you've been heard. No matter your topic I understand and feel your words. Thank you so much for sharing
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Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good morning. As a mother myself I feel your emotion in this letter. The description speaks volumes. "A letter to my future kids about how I would love to be happy." A mother understands that our own happiness depends greatly on our children's happiness.

editing note: Was it meant to be typed twice?
Thank you for sharing
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Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi. Turn about is fair play. I loathe aliens. No seriously though, not an alien fan, however I do enjoy a good tech enriched story. That and mystery. I was on the fence as to whether I would find myself looking for chapter 2, until I read her assignment. "Sea of Tranquility on the moon sounds great. I'll be keeping my eye out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. What a lovely little poem that speaks volumes in just 8 lines! I myself am a procrastinator so I love the inspiration to do more. I enjoy when a poem starts off asking a question. Makes me want to read further to not only see your answer, but how it compares to mine. Thanks for sharing


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Upstaged  
Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there. An enjoyable read. Not a lot to say about this piece that isn't said in the story itself. In a good way mind you. I'm interested to read more. I love stories of magical abilities. I enjoyed the way Daphne went from a meek mouse to realize she is so much more than that. I would love to see the story continue with Daphne taking center stage (excuse the pun) for the story. I would subtly fade Irene out as a part of the past. Just my opinion. Thanks for sharing!
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Review by Temperance Stone
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie. Absolutely beautiful. I too, spent many an hour drinking tea and discussing our faith with my grandmother. My Nana was a saint in my life and my entire family really. I also, had a neighbor who always welcomed us with snacks. All of the neighborhood children called he "Mother Goose." Your words were able to instantly bring me back to my younger years. I can taste the tea and hear Nana's voice. Thank you for sharing such poignant personal words. You've lifted my day.
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