Thank you for sharing your wonderful family through this piece, it's left me feeling sad and elated at the same time. I especially love the photos at the end. Everyone lives with their own tragedies in life, but you and your family seem to have been blessed with uncommon strength and wisdom.
Your writing style is fluid, emotional without being melodramatic, and well constructed. I noticed no technical flaws in this piece, which of course adds greatly to the reading experience. Again, thank you for sharing these extraordinary people with us here.
Another treasure. I love the associations in this, fears giving teeth to the wolves, and nightmares making the snow cold. There's vivid imagery here. I also like, "No matter the chaser, there is a path." It sounds as if music is at the heart of your soul. Well done!
With a brief trip down memory lane, our Gabriella remembers a powerful man.
Impressions and Responses:
Thank you for sharing your memory of this man. He seems to have been an awesome person, though it's sad that he ended up alone. Your choice of words to describe him are priceless: "a heart calcified, a polished black stone" says a lot about him. Your portrayal of him, while short, is rather powerful. Well done!
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** listening with all ears to the forest chattering and singing all around us [Just to avoid repetition of "all" ]
** HispPencils bitten to the quick were his trademark. [Just to avoid repetition of "his"]
** expletives railied[rallied? railed?]
I hope this review has been helpful.
Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am judging your entry for this round
Impressions and Responses:
A nicely written, if somewhat horrific, account Níðhöggr comes straight out of Norse mythology, the dragon who gnaws upon the roots of the World Tree. Náströnd is Níðhöggr's home in Hel. I do enjoy the Nordic mythology, though for the purposes of this contest it's not really appropriate. The idea is to create a new type of dragon, rather than rehash old ones. Still, that being said, this story is well done with good characterisation and description, and excellent dialogue.
Technical Suggestions:
** my friend,” He [he - lowercase 'h']
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1267314 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1271388 by Not Available.
A cute story, though it's more about your daughter than the dog I'd love to have read more about little Bear and her adventures and mishaps, etc. I'm "mommie" to my dog too, so you're not alone there! The story was well written with no spelling or grammatical issues.
Write on!
Hugs,
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Elegant cNote Shoppe (E) Choose from 60+ cNotes - Welcome to WDC, Happy Birthday, Holidays, Just a Note, and more. #1217930 by Ladyoz
Thank you for entering the contest - I am your judge for this round
Impressions and Responses:
This story is nicely written, with good attention to detail and excellent spelling and grammar. However, I do feel that it could benefit from less atmosphere and more action. If this tale were to be summarized, it might read, "A cat goes to a club, drinks tea, does some writing, and talks to her aunt." Nothing really happens in the story to hold the reader's attention. In a short story atmosphere and excess characters are wasted. I feel that if you wrote one brief paragraph about the cat meeting up with her aunt, and then have the aunt tell the story of the Prince and Princess, you would have a much more entertaining story. What I mean by "excess characters" is the mention of the other cats who don't play any part it the story other than just being there to fill the room. I think you have a lovely writing style and the inkling of a great story that could be developed into a full-length novel. But for a short story, it needs some work to make it grab and hold the reader's attention
I hope this review has been helpful.
Write on!
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1245977 Unavailable **
Elegant cNote Shoppe (E) Choose from 60+ cNotes - Welcome to WDC, Happy Birthday, Holidays, Just a Note, and more. #1217930 by Ladyoz
What a wonderful idea for a contest! Really gets people to get those creative juices flowing. The prizes are awesome, too! The page is laid out very well and the rules are easy to follow. I liked the prompts for round 1, too I hope you get lots of fantastic entries in future rounds!
An essay discussing whether the existence of God may be proven by science.
Impressions and Responses:
A very well written and thoughtful piece. You present your arguments clearly and concisely with excellent grammar, spellig and presentation. Well done!
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** particles will be s[h]own
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1245977 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
This is a beautifully crafted story with vivid imagery, no wasted words, and a strong message for all of us rough-hewn stones. I found it interesting that you set the story in Ireland. I'm really not a religious person at all, but I thoroughly enjoyed this tale on its own merits. A wonderful piece of writing.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** or glacier[s]
** dark and foreboding [forbidding?]
** forgive you of [for] your
** absorbed in her self [herself]
** Council mumbles [mumbled]
** at timed [times] chanted
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Elegant cNote Shoppe (E) Choose from 60+ cNotes - Welcome to WDC, Happy Birthday, Holidays, Just a Note, and more. #1217930 by Ladyoz
Thank you for entering the contest - I am judging your entry for this round
Impressions and Responses:
Oo, I like the little scorpion tail - nice touch. Cute little critters you have here, LOL. Though I think that if something the size of a mouse was buzzing around my head I'd probably swat it with something heavier than my sandwich! A neat little tale, good visuals and nice description. Well done!
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** shiny bug-like sheen [It's a little like saying "wet water" Suggest deleting 'shiny']
** It’s [Apostrophe not necessary here] black eyes
** bulbous barb [Bulbous is rounded, like a bulb, so I'm having trouble visualizing a bulb-shaped barb?]
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1285671 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1271388 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am judging your entry for this round
Impressions and Responses:
Very interesting concept - dragons as volcanoes. Feel sorry for the poor dude who found it out, though! Nicely written story, good character and imagery, good economy of words and consistent viewpoint. This could make a very good dragon novel if you were willing to expand on it. Well done!
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** islands are [of?] the Pacific Ocean
** entering the cave [as?] he had
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1216503 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1246844 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am judging your entry for this round
Overview:
A short story about the last dragon.
Impressions and Responses:
This is a sad tale, though in places it's written a little more like an article than a story. Not that this is a bad thing I feel that it could be improved if you allowed the reader to get "inside" the character of the dragon and see through her eyes a little more. For instance, instead of saying: "The only company she has now is her reflection upon the water," you might say: "She gazed longingly at her reflection, now her only companion." Both sentences say the same thing - the difference is that the first sentence is the author talking, and the second is through the eyes of the dragon.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** I noticed that Loch/Loche and Kreylure/Kreylures were inconsistently spelled throughout the story. Other than this, there were no notable errors.
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1246844 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am judging your entry for this round
Overview:
A short story about the birth of dragons.
Impressions and Responses:
I'm not quite sure what to make of this, though it's well written. The rating of the story seems to suggest that Stren and Grist are sperm. At least that's the impression I get, despite the fact that they have teeth? I don't know. It's interesting but perhaps a little too abstract for my simple mind.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** powerful tales [tails]
** long tale [tail]
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1271388 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am one of the judges for this round
Overview:
A short story about a lovely pug named Pugsly.
Character & Plot Development:
A sad story indeed. Thank you for sharing Pugsly through this contest. I feel for your loss. Did the vet never tell you what was wrong with Pugsly? Your story was well told, easy to read and neatly presented. I love the photo of Pugsly at the top - it's always wonderful to see the animal being discussed in the story.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** I I was petting [Suggest deleting one of the I's]
** need[ed] to be fed
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1212805 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am one of the judges for this round
Overview:
An amusing and entertaining short story about a dog named Heidi
Impressions and Responses:
I certainly can remember the milkman, though for us it was the mail man that one of our dogs hated. I enjoyed your writing style very much, you have a knack for comedic writing. This was a very well written and funny story - thank you for sharing Heidi through this contest.
Technical Suggestions:
No spelling or grammatical errors were noted - bravo!
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1267314 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1232797 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am one of the judges for this round
Overview:
A short story about a cat named Purdy.
Impressions and Responses:
A very well written story with a wonderful point of view. I can almost hear the Queen of England narrating this piece. I liked "somebody has to be at the bottom of the social ladder". I enjoyed your writing style very much. I was saddened by the note at the end of the tale, and am sorry that Purdy is no longer with you. Thank you for sharing Purdy through this contest.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** I would recommend changing the rating of this story to ASR, for mild adult language.
** The use of "one" and "my" are a little inconsistent, so I'd suggest streamlining this a little. Perhaps the royal "we" and "our" and "us" would fit in better and keep the regal nature of the narrative more consistent.
** No spelling or grammatical errors were noted - bravo!
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Elegant cNote Shoppe (E) Choose from 60+ cNotes - Welcome to WDC, Happy Birthday, Holidays, Just a Note, and more. #1217930 by Ladyoz
Thank you for entering the contest - I am one of the judges for this round
Overview:
A short story about a short dog named Bubba.
I liked this: "stains of his previous owners". I found that to be a simple yet poignant statement. This is a very well written tale, all the more touching because it's a true story. I enjoyed reading about Bubba's cute habits, such as the need to shovel a path for him through the snow. He sure sounds like he was a sweet dog, and the end was very touching. Thank you for sharing Bubba with us through this contest.
Impressions and Responses:
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1271388 by Not Available.
Thank you for entering the contest - I am one of the judges for this round
Overview:
A short story about a cat named Gracie.
Word count: 508
Word count posted: No
Impressions and Responses:
What a true queen Gracie was. She definitely ruled the roost. I especially liked your description of her eyes: "those exquisite emeralds". A nice little tale about one of the truly regal felines who grace our lives.
Technical Suggestions:
** fa[s]cination
** untill [until]
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1212805 Unavailable **
Elegant cNote Shoppe (E) Choose from 60+ cNotes - Welcome to WDC, Happy Birthday, Holidays, Just a Note, and more. #1217930 by Ladyoz
What a hoot! I got a laugh out of this. Specially love the bit about the scab, and the undies! Having been a rabid fan of Queen, let's just say I'd be pretty skanky right now if I'd kept my promise to never shower again when the drummer shook his sweaty head all over me after a concert. Thanks for brightening my morning with a real good giggle.
By the way, you could make that a used Kleenex - or is that just too gross? LOL!
A beautifully written article discussing both the positive and negative effects of public reviewing.
Impressions and Responses:
I feel that you have presented both sides of this issue clearly, thoughtfully and intelligently. This article provides excellent perspective on the possible impact of negative reviews, and explains why it is so very important to be positive, helpful and topical. This article made me think about the type of reviews I've been writing, and whether they may have inadvertently done any damage. I have never written a negative review, but I still wonder.
I especially liked the point about why a reviewer should not post the full text of the item they are reviewing within the body of their review. In particular, this statement: "...honoring the writer's right to choose where he wants his work presented." This is something I had not considered.
Another great point in this article is that reviews should not ramble with the reviewer's personal views on the subject matter of the item they are reviewing. I also appreciated the reference to poor spelling and grammar in some reviews, and the strain this places on the credibility of the reviewer.
I highly recommend this article to everyone on W.com who has ever submitted a public review.
Technical Suggestions:
None. This article is well presented with no errors noted.
Thank you for a thoughtful, informative article.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1245977 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
I think this is a promising beginning, but I do feel that the viewpoint holds the reader at a distance. It seems to be written in Third Person Omniscient, which means that the author is telling the story, rather than the characters telling the story through their words and actions. I feel that this story could benefit from being told through the eyes of one specific character, probably the Rani. If you put yourself 'inside her skin' and tell the story as she is experiencing it, I feel that it would improve the tale. Currently, the story is narrated in such a way that the reader feels as if they are watching it happen on a TV screen. Try to make the reader feel as if they are the main character. This makes for much more gripping and exciting storytelling.
I like the hints of customs and mannerisms described here. Nicely done! Though at first I can't tell what is a name from what is a title - Rani and Maulvi both appear to be names at first, but later become "the Rani" and "the Maulvi", so I assume they are titles of some kind.
There is not yet enough story for me to comment on plot development.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** “Lotus”, [The comma comes before the end quotation mark: "Lotus,"]
** answered back a
** that its proprietor was clad in. [in which its proprietor was clad.]
** seated besides
** posture of courtesy [It's not clear who is sitting with this posture, the Rani or the new guy.]
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1184382 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1246844 by Not Available.
What a creepy concept! Though to be honest it evoked more humor than horror, and I think that might be because it's written like a journal entry, rather than a story. The mention in the first paragraph of the monsters from his dreams being visibly trapped in the web is a dead giveaway for what's going to happen in the second paragraph. Perhaps if you don't mention them until the very end it would increase the suspense? I know you can't do much in 120 words Just a thought, anyway.
Technical Suggestions:
No spelling or grammatical errors were noted. Well done!
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
Revenge is sweet, indeed. Here's what can happen when you mess around with the wife of a prominent doctor.
Character & Plot Development:
This is a well-written piece that flows nicely. Good characterizations, excellent dialogue and good pacing - it doesn't drag anywhere and is not weighed down by excessive description. I felt for this guy, and was amused by his method of exacting revenge. The story is completely believable and the character is totally sympathetic. Specially love the delight he takes in Bennet's reaction to the blood test results.
Overall, a nicely constructed, tightly woven story. Well done.
I would highly recommend changing the rating of this story to 18+ for adult language and mature concepts.
Technical Suggestions:
These are just my thoughts on a few things I picked up while reading. You can take them or leave them, as you see fit
** purpose. “s[S]o if
** There are quite a few missing periods at the end of dialogue, so you need to watch for those. Also watch for capitalization at the opening of quotes, such as "you cant leave".
I hope this review has been helpful.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1216503 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
A lesson in house cleaning that's a little out of the ordinary.
Impressions and Responses:
This is lovely! I can see this illustrated on one of those greeting cards that has pages in it. Such a clever weaving of ideals and morals, this was a delight to read. Especially liked the bit where Despair moved next door to live with Gloom. This piece evoked an emotional response in this reader, so it did its job well. I see this story won a ribbon, and I am not at all surprised. Well done!
Technical Suggestions:
No spelling or grammatical errors were noted.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1216503 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1213802 by Not Available.
Excellent article concerning the copyrighted works, both written and graphical, which we all see so often forwarded in emails.
Impressions and Responses:
As a writer, graphic artist, web designer, and photographer the issue of copyright has long been of major concern to me. I stopped forwarding those emails a long time ago. I don't need to "return this to the sender" to know who my friends are, or to prove to them that I'm still their friend.
This article is sensitively written, eloquent, and right on the button with the examples provided and the opinions given. The internet makes it all so very easy to steal the works of others, whether or not one is aware that they are, in fact, stealing. I have experienced theft of my graphics, and it's an awful feeling. I even provide a royalty-free photography website, completely free of any cost to users, and yet I caught someone in Germany downloading many hundreds of my photos. There can be no honest purpose for such bulk downloading, and the only way I could stop this person was to ban their IP. I was never able to learn what they may have done with the photos they acquired.
Technical Suggestions:
No spelling or grammatical errors were noted - bravo!
Thank you for a very well-written piece.
Well done. Write on!
Oz.
"Those who don't have time to read, don't have the time or tools to write." - Stephen King
** Image ID #1245977 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1246844 by Not Available.
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The story was well written with no spelling or grammatical issues.
