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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lauraarkanian
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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Grandpa  
Review by Laura Arkanian
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem about a wonderful man. Our world need more such builders. Thank you!
2
2
Review of Dollar Bill  
Review by Laura Arkanian
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, I do want to know what comes next!

Exciting idea, hot start - although you might want to put a bit more personality in the conversations?

When is it time for the next chapter?

Thank you

L
3
3
Review of 193DE7  
Review by Laura Arkanian
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I read this piece and wondered about it for quite a long time. It was interesting in more than one way. First, I like reading anti-utopies. Secondly, I felt a subtle contradiction there; doesn't anyone, who realizes that he or she (in this case she) isn't supposed to have a personality, have a personality after all?

And of course I awaited a climax that did not come, with her refraining from the task. A nasty shock it was, but nice ending... or is there more to that? If yes, I would like to read it.

As for the background of the story, I could have put up with some more description, for example, about the difference between DE and LE Codesm their training, etc.

Your use of past and present tenses seemed not always logical for me, but since I am not native English, probably I am mistaken here. Two things I noticed nevertheless:

Her dark, violet flickered - I miss an "eyes" from here;
improvised neurons and synapses - isn't it "improved?"

Thank you

Laura
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