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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ldershem
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2 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Linda Koerber
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think you've got a great start here. You did a good job portraying Mischa and her problems. Your characterization is commendable; I could actually feel what they felt.

I'd work on your grammar a bit as a word check can catch a lot of misspellings, but read through it for any left-over errors. For example: "The newscaster was telling her all the events of the door..." :p One more thing I'll suggest is to seperate the dialogue as it's hard to tell who's talking.

Keep on writing, though. Don't worry so much over the punctuation and grammatical stuff until after you finish with the story. Put structuring in the back of your mind and focus on just going with it. I really think you should keep writing more. I'm curious to find out where you'll go with this.

Good work!!
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