Hi charlie! I am sorry it took me so long to reread your story, but I have done so today. As I have said before, this is a really good non-fiction story of Andreas. You have great details, your heading, title is perfect, oh, I thought maybe you should put his last name into your heading. You wove your story well with the narration coming from Andreas.
The information is great because of the history you give on Russia, with the coming of the Bolsheviks and the communist rule. I also found the history of how they came to America and where the different ones ended up. I really loved how the families, not just his but all the families, especially those that farmed, worked together. So many of them lived together until their death.
Your description of Diphtheria was chilling. When I was younger and married, the doctors thought I might have contracted it. It end up being a severe bacteria infection thank goodness. We had been in San Antonio and they had had a couple of people come down with it. Never the less, reading what it does to you was frightening.
Again, your description of the blizzard of 1888 is so much of what I had read about it. Horrible, to lose children like that.
From top to bottom, I thoroughly enjoyed reading again. Thanks,
What a sweet story. I am so glad he set a limit and kept to it. Plus he took them to the vet, had them spayed/neutered, shots, etc. this is being a responsible person. It is wonderful when people can share their kindness with the animals and take care of them. I liked your story because unlike hoarders, he did have a limit and he was very careful to take care of them and find them a home. I was glad to her the news got out about his cats and people would come to check them out and maybe keep one or two. I actually have a friend, who, she and her husband owned a wonderful big ranch. There were so many stray cats, that she began to catch them, take them to the vet and have the same done, but she would release them them back into the wild. She always fed and watered them. She was their caretaker. The reason she let them go was become most of them were feral and would not make good pets. When one would have babies, she made sure to nurture them and give them to good homes.
My favorite part is Larry keep little Lori. How so very precious and I am sure he kept her well.
I love your story from beginning to end. Well done. Keep writing these wonderful stories.
Lady Scorpio House HighTower
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This is a phenomenal account of what happen to the Indians. I can't thank you enough for sharing this on WDC. As we all know gone of the days when we, as children, could roam a forest and not fear for our lives, other than an occasional snake, etc. The Trail of Tears will forever be etched into my heart. No, I am not a cherokee and we, my family, are still not sure we have choctaw in us, but I do have friends that have a lot of cherokee in them and when we talk about this it is so sad it brings tears.
You must be approaching 90 now and I say "good for you." I would love to hear back and we could have some interesting talks. I have a very old book my grandmother had and it is of Oklahoma territory. she was born there and her father-in-law ans mother ran a trading post on SaddleBack Mountain. There was a museum there, but the last I heard, her friend, who was 93 at the time was in charge of it. I have written the Chamber of Commerce about where this is, but they do not seem to know. I need a historian who could answer the question. My aunt, her sister, use to go there, but I have not been. I too am getting old so if I am going to go, I need to get gone!
I was so glad to her of the kindness of the young private and the fact he visited them when they had grown.
the history books use to mention this, but now I don't believe it is even there. OH how I wish it was. Our young children have no idea what these people endured ad how many were lost, and why.
How right you are, murder is murder and this is exactly what happened. In my belief, this will be reconciled with the Greater Being, God. I know that my husband studies history all the time and he has told me all about Custer. the dandy, as I think of him, was too a murderer of these people and their children. If the white man had tried to live in peace and not been so greedy, they would have prospered. The cherokee is who I am talking about. I could write on and on about this subject but I must go. Once again, thank you for sharing this true history with us.
Love it! so why is it we must capitalize the beginning of a sentence or any other stand out words. who knows. It sure makes it easier to type though. NO caps. Great! oop! there i go again. you're right, i can't image a fly sending me indoors so i can't hear the birds chirping, but a wasp is a different matter. he will send me scurrying off to safety indoors until he has gone. and sometime that takes quite awhile. now the big texas cockroaches, the one that fly, will do the same thing. and if they are in my house and almost dead because we always have it sprayed, it still gives me the creeps. i swear, these type roaches give off singles with their antennae, because i can feel it if there is one in the room and if someone tells me they killed it and i feel it again, i can guarantee it isn't dead. now spiders, they are just plain hiders and come out to scare you to death. my younger daughter came down one morning, and it was halloween day, and told me there was a large spider in her bed. then she went off to school when i went up to make up her bed, i saw this HUGE spider hanging on the bedspread. i laughed because she was playing, or trying to play, a joke on em. i went over to shake the bedspread and the darn thing was real! you talk about someone running out the door, yep it was me. i knew i had t go back and kill the thing but i sure didn't want to face it. once i got my nerve up i went back up to do the dirty deed. that thing was so big and keep jumping at me and i kept freaking out, but i finally won! i later found out it was called a wolf spider. look it up, see how big that sucker is. now, about your writing, you certainly evoked quite a few memories from me just talking about the fly. and you are right, listen to the beautiful sounds of the world and quit trying to be a scaredy cat like me.
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Family memories are so very special and we hold them dear in our hearts. Your dad must have been a beautiful singer and the Choir had to have thought very special of him to have him sing Silent Night at their mid-night mass. I found myself laughing when you said your mom was in the kitchen making the traditional lasagna dish, because it shows you being, without speaking it, Italian. We have the traditional turkey and dressing, not exactly the Southern way, but the Texas, cornbread way. 1954, so typical of all of our dads either singing, putting up the Christmas Tree or putting lights on the house. Traditions are wonderful aren't they? My dads specialty was decorating the tree, then having it on a pedestal that turned in the window. It was to perfection. Yes, we did do our best to help, but he was a perfectionist when it came to his tree. for a few years he would put his train set around the tree. My sister and I bought several pieces for his train over the years. He loved it.
I think your mom was so very wise when she put the camcorder out and let your dad sing again. How beautiful that was. thank you for sharing a very special moment in your life.
Well, this is short and sweet. This isn't boring at all and I am guessing you are going to follow the path to Gettysburg, Pa. as a soldier, then do a recreation for any spectators that are there. Am I on the right path? I know this is an old piece, but I sure wish you would come back and follow through with it because it is very interesting to view someone going through this. I have been to Gettysburg many times, as a child and with my husband and children. Still to this day there is a reference that comes over me every time I visit this place. So many men died that day to save our country. Strangely enough I just read a piece about how men are conned into going into service to fight. As I said, that is debateable now days, but then we were fighting for our freedom and in some wars in the past after, we have done the same and have reaped the rewards of it, only to lose so many loved one. As I say, Id on't know where you were going with this, maybe you just got to busy with what you were suppose to be doing and couldn't finish it. It would be a nice touch to see you come back and update it and finish the piece. What you have is the start of a great in-depth story and I for one would love to read it to the very end.
This is really funny, but to think about the letter o not being in the cabulary is amusing to say the least. I would have had to change at lest four words in the very first sentence. Mmmm, I would be very confused myself. Just look at all the O's I have used by now. Gracious, what to do, what to do? Where oh where is Auntie EM? It seems the red shoes have lost their magic also. I thought you title, while not understanding it, but after reading it, was very good for this little story. I like the way you presented it in different colors as it seem to keep the flow of a confused person going. Not just the person in the story, but the person reading it too! I thought your scenery created a staged fairy tale and I liked it. Small munchkin, truffle-shaped dwellings are right up my alley. The fact you added a feline is also showing, I believe, you like cats. Well maybe. Your plot was great from beginning to end I was enthralled and I could not stop until I reached the end of the story. However, the ending was not what I expected, so there is a bit of a twist to it. Great!
As for spelling, punctuation and grammar, I saw nothing amiss. You just keep writing all the great stories and poems and I wills top by again.
Wow, what a great poem. I love hearing the old songs and singing along with them. I guess that is my favorite part
where you say and the kinfolk sing along. It reminded me of the stories of the ladies of the mountains who would sing their songs as they went visiting or to heal someone. I enjoyed those stories very much, but you don't hear about this kind of thing anymore, sad to say.
I was always amazed to watch the gentlemen and sometime women, pull out their banjo's or violins and begin to play their own version of the old songs. I even love to hear the guitar. As a child my favorite thing was to visit my uncle and his family, three girls and one boy, start to come in and sing as he played and sang his songs. NOw that he is older and not very good health, he has lost his voice. The last time he sang was at his brother's second wedding. His first wife had died in a tragic accident over a year ago and we were all happy for him to have married another woman. They had know each other through church. Her husband had died about the same time as his wife. He has since passed and I am sure with his wife in a greater place.
See what your poem has done to me? It has made me ramble on and on. Your poem has evoked many wonderful memories and I can thank you for that. I wish you more wonderful writing.
What a great story! You hit the nail on the head starting with how nervous you get when you are going to your first school reunion. I can't imagine as I have not gone to any of them. Maybe I should have, but like you, I didn't want to face those that had bad things to say about me. My husband has never wanted to go to his either. I didn't understand that one as he ended up being pretty popular, especially with the girls LOL!
It has been more than ten years for us, so even if we went everyone would have gray hair or no hair and lots of wrinkles. I think this is the best time to go. Everyone looks the same unless they have had plastic surgery. I have actually thought about it myself, but who wants to the pain? I guess lots do.
I found it interest that your bully ended up being gay also. I am sure that is why he bullied you. He didn't want anyone to know what his feelings were. It seems to happen a lot. Of course, now days kids bully just to bully and be mean. I think it is awful.
I thought it was really cute when the teacher remembered you and hugged you, plus giving you accolades, even though the line was growing behind you. Anyway, I really like your story because all of it rang true for any High School reunion. Keep up the great writing! I can't believe you call it a hobby as you are very good at it.
This is a neat survey. Who would have thought to ask people about their Muse? You don't have many questions though and I would have thought you might have had more. Anyway, it would be interesting to know what you have come up with after the responses.
Good luck with your survey and so glad you are back!
1. Jill lived in the red house?
2. John lives in the blue house?
3. The green house?
4. 40?
5. The fact that John and the murdered lady lived in the same type house?
What a great mystery, who- done- it story. I have never been very good at working out these type stories. All the more fun, I say. I like the way you start your story off with John leaving his house and driving all these various ways, then coming home in many various ways. I was dizzy when I finished that part. Then you began the story with the different homes and how they were designed and how one was lower than the next and one had more bedrooms the the others or some had as many as the other. Like I said, it definitely made me dizzy and laugh. This is one of the most entertaining stories I have read and I like the way you only left clues, then asked the questions at the end.
One of the things I think would make your story easier to read is to space your lines. It is hard for the reader to read a story, especially like this one, when it is not spaced apart. I did notice some grammatical errors, but I am sure you will reread and find those to correct.
You need to keep writing more stories like this one as they are fun and the reader has to use his brain a little bit more than most stories go. This was a fun one. I would like to know the answers, but if you don't want me to know that is up to you. Keep up the great writing!
WOW! Now this is down right scary! Thanks for a really great story. The Fun House actually is a very good and clever story. It matches up with your title completely. It reminds me of the Goosebump series. This could be one of them. You have a very good plt here and used it well. I am not sure about your story message, but to me it said, DON'T GO INTO AN EMPTY FUN HOUSE, as you might not come out. Your setting was fantastic with the starting of them on their bikes and the challenge. Then going out at midnight to go into the fun house. What fun? It even scared me and I am an adult. Putting the character with his point of view kept the story going. Your description of the various scary sights within the fun house was excellent. Have you ever thought about entering this into the contest "Screams?" It would probably win big time.
I remember as a child going into one of these houses. I hated it and I hated the mirror room. I never went into one again. Call me a scaredy cat. I don't really care.
I find that you are a very talent writer with a great imagination. Keep on writing and thanks for letting me read it.
I really like this! Your title is just right for your story. The first sentence completely hooked me. The plot is great as you have a beginning, a middle and the end. Wonderful! I don't really think you have a story message, but it is such a great story. I could see her by the tree so confused. The man and the little girl talking to her in a different language, she not knowing what they are saying. Then she hears the word "Mama." This startles her. She sees women behind her talking and she still cannot understand. And the setting, long gowns, men dressed old fashion, straw hats. This a good plot. I think the way you set your scenery is terrific. Her point of view is wonderful. I can't even image going through something like that. Your descriptions of everything worked very well into the story and made it so interesting.
What I liked the most was description of the dress, because it gives the reader understanding as to where she has gone. The most important was her alarm clock going off and waking her up. What a dream she had and will she have it again? Many people dream the same thing for a long time and they tend to add to the dream.
Please remember, these are only my thoughts and you can use them or not. I write these to get the author to think about their writing.
It is ashamed this person cannot go beyond their horizons. I became confused with the next line, "I set a line of misbelief dangling to the choir below" because it makes me think they are in a church. Then their conscious mind comes up and yet they feel they are not entitled for it to happen. Why?
With your next line you talk about obscurity and then wanting what you use to have.
The title "Free Association" doesn't fit your poem/writing. I wasn't really hooked on this one. Although it reminded me of Sylvania Platt. A mind, trying it's best to come back to society and the real world. I understand how things can become so magnified it leaves a mark on you and those are the things we blow up and can't get past it.
On your last line -"The need for accelerated animation begins to outweighs the opponents compulsion of control. The word 'outweighs' you should drop the s as it is not needed.
I have enjoyed reading your thoughts, some did confuse me, but I feel you are an excellent writer. Keep up your writing. Let us see more of your work.
WOW! Short but powerful. I can see this person in her bedroom or an asylum. It must be her bedroom as the others in an asylum would be making noise. I can't tell if she is on medicine the doctor has prescribed to keep her calm. I am saying this because you say her moments trip upon each other. It is good her mind is reawakening, but she doesn't want it as she has put these barriers all around. It is like building a wall and no one can penetrate it. She does have thoughts, but she does not examine them. I like this sentence,
" Never reaching the top she struggles to become an illusion of reality. A false identity is promised, another second manifests itself to become a word that she is not."
You have written this very well. She seems to struggle, but just can't make herself to talk or take her thoughts for real.
"Her hand presses against the window as her fingers curl, nails imprinting into her fist. Faltering into depths of a world misled, she retains the last of her sanity."
This sentence was very powerful. For someone losing their mind, she manages to hold out and try to keep her precious sanity.
What a great poem this would be. It's almost like one now. Beautiful writing! Keep it up.
How sad the prince cannot have a puppy or a friend. He nor she sounds very old anyway. They both sound like a couple of kids, not adults. Of course back then, they married very young or were arranged. The title is okay, but it didn't really hit what all the story was about. I would have come up with something else. I thought your hook was great! Once I saw the person wanting a puppy, I was hooked. There isn't really any plot because, I suspect, it is only a small part of the whole stories.
It is true with Kingdoms come spies, always. Your description of the Price and his wife were excellent. I didn't notice any misspellings or grammar/punctuation problems either. I think you could have describe the dragon more and had him more into the story. Where was he? Where did he sleep? Were the people in the castle afraid of him?
Just more information about him. I think it might have helped. Your writing flowed very smoothly and you stopped the story at a good place. As I said, I am going back and reading some that I have missed so maybe I can put these all together. Keep up the great work.
After reading this one, I want to go back and start with the first. You have definitely peaked my curiosity. A wizard wanting and needing to know where his family have gone? Closely guarded by two of the King's men, which at this point I don't know why, other than the King does not trust him since he is a Wizard/Warlord.
"As we continued our restless interlude, I pretended an indifference I didn’t feel, for at the back of my mind, worry for my family plagued me. I knew my daughter was at the heart and soul. I could feel that even without forecasting."
This sentence makes me want to believe the guardsmen are there to get his daughter. I may have this wrong, but it led me to believe it was.
With the wizard pretending nothing bothered him he prepared the food for them and placed it on the table for all to eat. Wit everything gone, he was wise enough to start a fire with good smell logs of the apple tree. In doing so, then he pretends to go to sleep. He was then able to leave his body to find his family. He finds them and you were wise enough to leave us hanging.
Your title is perfect for this story. It took me a little bit to get hooked, but once I knew he was a wizard/warlord, you could not have stopped me from finishing your story. The plt was a little weak, but it only because I have not read the first few chapters. I thought your scenery was excellent; from the unsaddling of horses to preparing the food and eating it and the wonderful fire he built. Last but not least, when he was able to search the woods for his family. The strength of this story was definitely with the wizard.
While reading I was not really looking for any misspellings or grammar problems, but I can tell you while reading none came to mind. Keep up these great stories. Keep up your writing!
I am cracking up. I thought for sure Samatha just wanted to eat. I have had mosquitos siging in my ear and I slap my ear only to hurt myself while the mosquito flies to the other side of my head. I would keep slaping until I was completely silly from hitting myself. The mosquito, well it usually got what it wanted and left, only to be followed by another. You see, when I was young, we use to go to the beach a lot. My friends cabin was great but it needed new screens . We had to keep the window open because there was no air conditioner then. The night breeze from the Ocean was wonderful, but the holy screens brought visitor at night. Try lying in bed, really tired and having a mosquito constantly at your ear. You become a bit mad. That is why you start trying to hit the mosquito, but end of slapping your very own ear. I just gave up and did my best to go to sleep. You should be happy that Samatha just wanted to sing. NOw about Samantha's sister, I would have really give her a big whack!
I love your story. It is one of a kind! You keep on writing these cute and wonderful stories.
Here I am, rolling on the floor and having a difficult time to write this review. I can see my husband and myself doing the very same thing and have done the same thing. Except it is usually on a trip ad he says, "it won't be raining there." NOT This is my very favorite stanza.
Fortunately, I had to keep my eyes
staring straight ahead focusing all
my attention on the flooded streets.
I did hear some muttering regarding
“your stupid idea” or something close to that.
The thunder and lightning drowned her out.
The reason is my husband says I mummer all the time. When he is driving it is the only way to keep from jumping out of the car and telling him I will drive or take a taxi.
I am so glad that you have come to the realization it is best to listen to your wife, at least when it is raining.
Great work! I thoroughly have enjoyed this poem and I am going to read another one. Keep up the great writing!
You are a terrific Fan of Audrey Hepburn! I love your write-up on the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's" I'll bet you have watched this more than once. Am I right? Your description of this movie was perfect. I do remember it and I loved it too! But, I love all of the movies she has been in. She was a wonderful, talented and beautiful young woman. Her beauty was from within and shined outward. My Aunt gave me a magazine called Architectural Digest and she is on the cover. Inside are pictures of her and her husband Mel Ferrer in the first home they lived in. Actually throughout the magazine there are several different celebrity couples of old with them and picture of their new first home. The magazine came out in March of 2006. You might get a kick out of it if you go to the library and look it up.
Anyway, your write up took me back and I loved every minute of it. I do remember it was either the very first scene or the very last one when they were in the rain, when they turned it into black and white.
You are a very god writer. Keep it up!
I give you a five star rating.
Very well written! I have to say the only two times I was reviewed anonymous, the person gave me good suggestions and a god rating. However that being said, it would be nice to know who is reading and reviewing you. If you receive a good review, I am sure you would like to thank them and read something of theirs. On the other hand, when you talked about those who give awful rates and reviewing and do try to stir up trouble, I say "Shame on You!"
I think you are very right to call these people out and again I say "Good for You."
What a poignant story you have written. Everything that happens is exactly they way you explain it.
the very first and foremost thing anyone thinks of is to blame one's self on the tragic events you have slowly unrolled. It is the nature of the beast. When one of our loved ones, especially a spouse has clinical depression, we take on the responsibility for it. We shouldn't because some people tend to have this, what I would call, disease. It has nothing to do with us, but as I said, we tend to take this burden and put it on our shoulder.
"Perhaps the real beginning was ten years ago when, on the advice of our Pastor's wife, I put Leslie in the hospital for severe clinical depression. thought she was depressed over her job, that too much responsibility was being heaped on her. I was unable to cope and drove her to the hospital. They admitted her. It took months of counseling to deal with the guilt I felt over that. Leslie came out with medications for depression, and a loss of something that she never quite regained. We learned to live with this new life--through the ups and downs of our lives and her depression. And I learned to walk on eggshells."
This is what I am talking about. You took that responsibility and guilt. Although you had counseling, I think you really don't get past it. Especially when you have to act to help the one you love.
This is my favorite part, because it helps you take some of that burden and let it go.
"I looked at the nurse, a smile rising to my face. Perhaps there was hope, maybe just a small ray. Leslie would see me now. That was better than twenty-four hours before. The fear was still there. But, I had a chance. Maybe this wasn't just another day after all."
I pray this has not happened to your family, if it has, this type of depression never goes away. God Bless you all.
I thoroughly enjoyed your story. The words “One good thing about music when it hits you, you feel no pain.” is so very true, even any music you hear today. I have heard Bob Marley's' music but have never studied it like you have. I enjoy Reggae music a lot and I enjoy all music as a whole.
I know his death sadden many people because of his beliefs and his music. As for his smoking "the weed," so did many, many others, but they hid it. He did not. And it apparently did not stop his brain to thinking. I did not realize he was only 36 years old. That is a real shame. To lose a very talented person as he was, so young. We have had many sing's who sang songs of protest against many things, but you don't hear much about them any more. However Bob Marley has always been and I guess always will be. Now I want to go buy some of his CD's.
The one thing I would suggest, you need to put spaces between your words/sentences, as it makes the reading mush easier.
A well written memory of Bob Marley. God job. Keep on writing.
This is a wonderful poem. I have always envied people that have know each other from Kindergarten to college. Going to all schools together and then marrying. To find your love one so early is a gift and I don't know many people who have done this and last. I do know people who have had this happen to them and their marriage has lasted forever. Your writing is really beautiful so never quit. Keep on writing and showoing us these beautiful poems!
This is a sweet and cute poem. I can tell how excited you are for the wedding to be here and over! Enjoy every minute of your wedding because it will be such great memories.
When my husband and I got married we had a nice reception at the church, but I never got to know who was there because right after the cutting of the cake and placing it in each others mouth, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the back door to his waiting car. When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed out and threw the rice bags at us! It was really funny.
I have to look at the pictures to know who was all there. So really, enjoy every minute.
Your writing is very good so don't stop. Keep on writing!
Scorpio
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Not just the person in the story, but the person reading it too! I thought your scenery created a staged fairy tale and I liked it. Small munchkin, truffle-shaped dwellings are right up my alley. The fact you added a feline is also showing, I believe, you like cats. Well maybe. Your plot was great from beginning to end I was enthralled and I could not stop until I reached the end of the story. However, the ending was not what I expected, so there is a bit of a twist to it. Great!
I have actually thought about it myself, but who wants to the pain? I guess lots do.
You have a very good plt here and used it well. I am not sure about your story message, but to me it said, DON'T GO INTO AN EMPTY FUN HOUSE, as you might not come out. Your setting was fantastic with the starting of them on their bikes and the challenge. Then going out at midnight to go into the fun house. What fun? It even scared me and I am an adult. Putting the character with his point of view kept the story going. Your description of the various scary sights within the fun house was excellent. Have you ever thought about entering this into the contest "Screams?" It would probably win big time.