Hello Kyle, I just finish reading the chapter one and here are few things I suggest you have to look at.
In the chapter 'signing siren' as written I believe originally is 'singing sirens' and not the otherwise. "Always testing each other's bravery......." the other's I suggest others' will be more appropirate. There also some few misspelling as "stnading" and a couple others. You are making a good story. Keep it up.
Dear author, after a long vacation from writing.com, your work is the first to receive my review. Anyway, I just finish with your prolouge and here are my general view of it.
As you noted yourself that the prologue should describe detail picture of the village; that is relevant. Even though after reading this section you could envisage the nature of the village, yet, you can help your readership get a clear mind-picture when you consider adding more clues pertaining to village.
There were some few misspellings and that should be corrected. On the prologue, I feel it is good. I will do well to read the others and submit my review. Keep it up.
Dear Tim, I have moved by the wisdom behind your work. Indeed you have written a very inspirational, motivatonal piece. I recommend this wonderful piece to all those who are dishearted in life and think their fate is no better. Your work was written in simple language and I must give commendations for that. You could realize that, my review is full of praise. This is because, the wisdom and message your work carries has touch me. Keep it up, Tim! You have given me hope.
Dear author, allow to add my voice of review to your work. The speaker in the story if I'm right, sounds like he 've relocated and is joining a new church. Let be honest with you, the flow in your work wasn't impressive, maybe it could be that english my second language that's why. However you did well on puntuations in the work, it was good. And the ideas which were raised, were also thought-provoking. You've done a great job and I say, keep it up!
Dear Dane, I have been touched by your poem. I must say that your work carries strong emotions. I, however, advice that make your lines clear in poetry. You were impressive, over all. Man can pull 'you' down. Keep it up.
Dear author, I had the opportunity of reading your item titled, "A Family Circle Of Secrets" and below is my thoughts of your work. I would like to first commend you on the way approached your work it was good and also for the tenacity showed in this work. Also your writing is in simple language and I guess it's readership will go far. Let me quickly point to areas in your piece I suggest when looked at will increase and attract more readership interest. The flow in the story was good yet it could have been made subtle to constitue a better story. I also suggest you incorporate paragraphs in your work to make clear ideas you raised. Also I would suggest you do proofreading thoroughly and make some grammatical corrections. Example, a word like 'nothing' in the story was spelt "nuthin". I guess it should be delt with and there are also few others which should be corrected. You did a good job. Keep it up.
Dear author, I'm a newbie so I would like you accept my review as what I felt about your work. You have a good writing. I was really moved by how you were helping Freddy and his dog. I guess he will proud of you in his 'afterlife'. I was expecting to hear more about how you and Jared got together. Anyway I guess that the 'excluded' compelled me to tap into my imagination and figure things out myself. I also enjoyed your choice of words, it was great. If my eye serve me right, I guess, I saw no paragraph in the story, or you think that isn't necessary. Anyway this not a justification to rate you down. Keep it up!
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