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76
76
Review of Fire to Ashes  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Joy of House Florent.

What I like here:
The title of the story has a certain poetic element in it which drew me into the story. The description didn’t gave away much but considering the theme and the tone of the story it seems pretty much valid.
The play of surreal with reality which takes place in this story impressed me. When in the earlier part of the story, Osman talks to the fire woman I felt as if it was one of my lucid dreams put down in words. It had that kind of tone and feel to it. To visualize such a scene and then write about it exactly as you saw it is something which not everybody can do.

Suggestions/Questions:
Did this story have a terrorism undertone? I couldn’t find any other way to relate the last line of the story in the complete context. Possibly I am going on a complete tangent and hence needing a confirmation from you.
Have you received similar questions from other readers too? If yes, then probably the story has a little too subtle hints about the undertone and if not and I am the only person who didn’t get it then, well err *Facepalm* {:blush} *Laugh*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The line just after where you say Osman opened his eyes. It is something unpleasant but it was expertly crafted in words *Thumbsup*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work.
Thanks,
Nishank
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77
77
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Joy of House Florent.

Initial Impression:
Written in the form of a tabloid, the story in the tabloid narrates the tale of a giant scorpion sighting on the beaches of the country. Further it goes on to report that an dog, a pooch, had predicted of this occurrence. As the reporters set out to uncover the truth, what remains to be seen whether any of this is unrelated or it is pure hogwash.

What I like here:
I like the new way of presenting the story here. Now, this could have been an excellent story on its own too, no mistaking that, but the reporting format gives it a very different look and indeed it feels as if I am reading an article from my local newspaper.
Needless to say for your pieces but ten out of ten for the story in the article too *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The funny image created in my head when the Pooch talks for the first time. Woof-woof- There Are giant scorpions which would kill this world – woof *Laugh* Quite some scene that!

*Star* Well, is there something you can’t do lady, huh? Here we lesser mortals try to get one proper engaging piece while you just keep rolling them after the another! You are an amazing storyteller, Joy, and I am so happy to be living the world of your stories.

Thanks,
Nishank
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78
78
Review of PITS!  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Joy of House Florent.

Initial Impression:
Rich and Robby, twins, arrive at a costume party along with their parents. Soon, they figure out that the best way to enjoy this party would be to escape it and instead go playing outside, be it be the hide and seek Or the treasure hunt games. What curious happenings await them as they further out in the backyard towards an unknown?

What I like here:
In my opinion, the tone of the story is very important in a children’s story. If you dumb it down too much then it sometimes loses the connect with the adult readers and the children alike. What I found here is a casual tone, which neither underplays nor exaggerated the event which is possibly the best way of narrating a children’s story. Also, there is an inherent cuteness in the story, mostly because of the conversation between the kids which feels exactly how two siblings would talk. There are witty dialogues and observation aplenty to keep the reader entertained.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
My favorite part of the story is the “under pants” incident which happens at the last. It cracked me up. It would have served as a good enough lesson for the kids for their lifetime *Laugh*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work this cute children’s story.

Thanks,
Nishank
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79
79
Review of Earning It All  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Joy of House Florent.

What I like here:
First and foremost for keeping me hooked over its length this story deserves special brownie points. I am really numb with the amount of reviewing which I have done over the last few days but still from head to toe this story had a strong core of suspense which kept my eyes scanning one sentence after another searching for clues which would lead me faster to the climax of the story; but it didn’t help and the climax only appeared when you wanted it to. Brilliant storytelling again, throwing in curious events which seemed totally unrelated at first only for them to assume significance by truck loads by the end of the story. Amazing! *Thumbsup*

I also liked the portrayal of Janice, the main character of the story, and her principles and morals surely shine through to me. I could imagine a fierce willed, grounded and honest lady who had what it took to achieve her goals without compromising on her morals.

Question:
This question is much more for my benefit than yours – sorry for that selfishness *Laugh* – but I wanted to ask you that when you named the lawyer in the story “Sorkins” was it well thought out or just a plain co-incidence that it had a good recall value. For example, a common sounding name might not have stuck with Janice and hence might have felt like unconvincing if she were to remember that name. So, did you consider this point before naming the character or am I reading too much between the lines?

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The last line of the story shines out to me because it so perfectly envelops the story along with the title. Also, the message of morals which you manage to pass on in this story without actually preaching them is something I liked. It is not easy doing that, after all.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, dear.

Thanks,
Nishank
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80
80
Review of For Baby’s Sake  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Joy of House Florent.

What I like here:
The title and the description of the story were like an enigma to me; they said so much more to me without saying in comparison to what it did in words. I wanted to know the angle of the baby in ghost paying visits to someone. When the story started, it seemed really harmless with someone playing with the baby rattle for someone. It rang bells but nothing in comparison to the jolt I received in the fourth paragraph. It was SOME sensation when I wrapped my head around what was actually happening in the story and I must say, I was really spooked out with the way in which the lady floated around the house. The biggest factor which I liked in this story was that there was a sense of randomness in what was happening but there was also a curiosity to know what would she do next.

Then, the next thing which hit me was the biting sarcasm and pain in the tone of the protagonist, as she planned her one move after the another telling the story of her life in parallel. I could really empathize with her because the way she had been treated by her kid and husband. The emotion in the story was powerful, to say the least.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
It was the moment I realized that what had been happening with the baby rattle. I hurriedly reread the first 3 paragraphs not to grasp the extent of those acts but to re-feel the sensation I had felt just then. It was crazy and creepy!

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, dear. I really enjoyed reading this story with a twist. Very well written!

Thanks,
Nishank
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81
81
Review of Theft of Words  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Nixie .

What I like here:
Now that was some coup by Melanie *Laugh*. Again it is a prompt driven entry, I know, but the fact that you thought of a well-known historic moment and made the characters to be a very believable part of it is purely down to your excellence. The plot is hands down the winner of this story and I can’t help but imagine that probably they were not Sir Neil Armstrong’s straight off the cuff words after all – who says such profound stuff when doing something as outlandish as Moon landing *Laugh*

I liked that dialogue between Melanie and Neil because it shows the nervousness of them both – maybe Melanie’s more than Neil. The way you describe the things happening without directly saying them is I am slowly getting to learn from you. For example, you don’t say that Melanie had a firm handshake but instead imply about it in a subtle way. That feels so very natural because we are also getting to know what is going in the character’s mind as well seeing them do what they are doing under influence of those thoughts. Point noted for my own story writing *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
Just before the point in the story wherein Neil Armstrong sets his foot on the moon and utters those words, there is the below line –

“It seemed like he was looking straight through the cameras and television at me.”
It felt exactly as I would if I had met a known, famous person and I know that what he is about to do has a stamp of me, somewhere.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I am really enjoying my stay in this port. *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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82
82
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Nixie .

Initial impressions:
A look at that chaotic time that precedes the party and what all goes “behind the scenes” as mom and dad try to hold on to their nerves (mom especially. every house – same story *Laugh*) For good measure there is a new pet in the house – a kitten – who is hell bent on stripping things to its last bits. Would they be able to enjoy the party amidst the pending chaos? The answer to this question forms the theme of the story.

What I like here:
The humor is my favorite genre when I read but writing is far from favorite because for some reason I cant conjure a scene into words even if it is woodyallen-esque comic. But when I read this story, I felt no strain, no melodrama and such subtle comic things happening throughout the story that it made me go jealous with envy of your writing skills. This was a laugh riot, with the kitten wreaking havoc and the momma going mad. What could be more happening than that *Laugh*

I like the fact that you never really go over the top in this story and it is as close to real life as possible. Any of these events could have happened easily and I didn’t have to stretch my imagination to visualize them. That to me was the beauty of the story *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
It had so many tickling moments that it would be tough to pick one but I would go with the one where the doc seemingly neuters Dr. Zhivago (and what a brilliant name that! Full points to Mommy for the creativity *Laugh*)

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, dear. I enjoyed reading it very much *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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83
83
Review of Happy Accidents  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Nixie .

Initial impressions:
A widower finds a checkbook in his garage and he must now find the woman who owns it. Although he was never met her ever, there is something which draws him to her. He searches for her and when they meet the lady reveals a secret which connects the man, his wife and the lady herself. What is the secret? – it forms the climax of the story.

{ u} What I like here:
Outstanding plot is what would be noticed by anybody who reads it. The wonderful rapid yet soothing way in which story moves, almost in a surreal manner, to reach its thrilling climax makes me wonder about the skill which must go to carve out such a story. What I mean to say that there is so much happening in this story and yet despite its short length it doesn’t feel as if anything was rushed and that to me is winning point of this story. Amazing storytelling that!

The dialogues in the story were really well written - whether it be between Donovan and the guard or between Donovan and Valarie.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
It has to be the point in the story where the secret is revealed by Valarie. The conversation which follows after that is brilliantly alive.
Also, I like where Donovan fantasizes about how Valarie must look like. In a paranormal story, for some reason it is this normal moment which hits me because probably it feels a so real.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, dear. That was a unique piece of storytelling *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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84
84
Review of Alive In Death  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ~WhoMe???~ .

What I like here:
As I read the curious title, and the first few stanzas it made me feel like I was getting to know about a person who was neck deep in depression. The kind of agony and the trauma in the voice is palpable it makes me want to reach out to a person going through this misery. Then, I see the “story” within the poem progress to a point where the person is waiting for his other self to come to him, embrace him and give him quick release from the viciousness of the life. This was all when I hadn’t read the neat “translation” at the end and as soon as I read it made me smile because although I didn’t understand the exact context of the poem by then but the final intention of yours did meet what I was kind of weaving in my mind. Feels good to accurately get the poet’s feelings and that is only possible in the case of a well written poem *Smile*

There are some real strong emotions in that piece which paint the picture of someone in dilemma and a dire need of help. I can feel them and also kind of relate to them because they are very much like the emotions which I feel after I have been abnormally angry with someone close who didn’t deserve it! I hate myself after that and have a quick chat with me and this dialogue kind of reminded me about it.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
These below lines are my top favorite because they say way beyond to what the words suggest –
“I am no longer a who,
what, when or why.”

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, dear. It was a pleasure breezing through your port.
Thanks,
Nishank
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85
85
Review of The Sea  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ~WhoMe???~ .

What I like here:
I am a sea lover myself so when I read the title and that too titled under poetry I had to jump in because nothing accentuates the beauty of the nature more than a well written ode in poetic form. And that is what I got in here. There is something about the sea, the wonder of it all and its power that elicits those hidden emotions in us – it makes me feel alive when I see the sea waves rising towards me as I stand there, arms outstretched. I saw the same sense of wonder and awe in the soul of this poem and that is the thing I liked the most about it.

When I write the poems, I generally tend to make it rhyme and hence I know how difficult it sometimes gets to fit the right word which doesn’t feel like is just here for rhyming purposes – but I still end up doing it sometimes. I am so glad that this poem never fell in those trap and when it has a rhyming word it actually feels like it deserves a spot in there. I particularly like the neat structure this poem conforms to – the adcd rhyming structure. It always falls perfect throughout the poem.

Questions/Suggestions:
It is just a personal opinion or wish if I can say that that if you had included more of the sensory feel to the poem then it would have moved me even more. Hey now, this is a wonderful poem in its current state too and I truly saw what you wanted to show but personally, I wanted to see a little bit of waves crashing into my feet, feeling of that roar of the waves in my heart and that soothing sea breeze. If I can ask for so many things after reading a wonderful poem such as this, you would know how greedy for nature I am in real life *Laugh*

Having said that I also understand that it was more about somebody experiencing the thrill of an upcoming sea adventure so maybe they wont fit in.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
Oh the romance in the last four line! It made my heart sing. Lovely, absolutely brilliant!

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, friend.

Thanks,
Nishank
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86
86
Review of Shadow Detective  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ~WhoMe???~ .

What I like here:
Wow, this is a totally different genre of writing when I compare it to the other stories I have had the privilege to read from your port. Reading these stories confirms one thing for me – you have a talent for detailed scene writing and it makes the scene come alive. The way you described the restlessness, fear and the panic of the protagonist made me feel it too. There was no doubt in my mind that I was there in the room, feeling those eyes on me with my eyes perked up to hear for a sound. It was creepy alright and at the point of the story when the protagonist had battled the “thing” for three days in a row, I really wanted to dash straight to the end as the tension in the story was becoming almost unbearable. That feeling was something spooky, alright *Thumbsup*

I like the fact that describe dealing with kind of paranormal theme you have kept the story very close to the real events and real day life. Nothing out of ordinary happens and that is what makes me relate to the narrator.

Questions/Suggestions:
Umm, I was a tad confused by the title of the story. Considering the theme of the story it didn’t click me instantly how it related to the story. Now, when I think about it ,I feel the title kind of summarized the way the protagonist of the story was hunting for something which could have been a mere shadow of her own thoughts. Was this it?

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
That place where you describe the protagonist entering the basement gave me chills more so because of the way you described it –
“Holding the rake in front of her as she toed open the door ---”
That “toed” thing was something which made me see the protagonist entering the room. Really well done!

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work, friend. You smacked the goosebumps out of me!

Thanks,
Nishank
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87
87
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ~WhoMe???~ .

What I like here:
The beauty of the description is what holds my attention here. On the face of it, it may appear to be a story about a person who happens to be observing and enjoying the changing of the season but there is so much more to it than what meets the eye. I was there with the narrator when he was soaking in the marvelous view at the base of the mountain. Then, it was as if I was there with the narrator of the story in that hiking trip of his, enjoying the warmish sun and cool breeze which sang its beautiful song in my ears. This story had a very sensory feel to it which to me was the standout point for it. To me it was as if someone with a heart of a poet had written this because it had the same kind of serenity and beauty to it.

I also liked the fact that there was something which kept the story moving and it was not just only about the feel of the nature. When in the later parts of the story you introduce that suspense about the looming “gray” thing, I was a little worried and curious about it and it kept me pulling further. I think what you did right there was just apt considering the overall theme of the piece. Masterfully done *Thumbsup*

Editing:
To me, the first line looked like it needed some restructuring or a punctuation. It maybe my complete lack of focus but I had to read it two three times to realize what you were saying there. No such worries across the rest of the story though.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
I liked the surreal feel with which you ended the piece. That line right there was my favorite -
“ Maybe though, they didn't all like to leave” Wow *Heart*

*Star*
Thanks,
Nishank
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88
88
Review of So Far Gone  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ~WhoMe???~ .

What I like here:
I can see that it is a kind of autobiographical work but I think that even if I hadn’t read the description of the story, I would have been able to guess it and I say this because of the purity which brims over from the piece. I particularly like, appreciate and salute the honest portrayal of the messy situation you found yourself in. It is not easy baring your soul especially to people whom you don’t even know and the fact that you were able to do it talks about your courage, in my opinion. The pain, the agony and the hopelessness which surrounds in such situation could be felt as one reads through this piece but what could also be felt is that little glimmer of hope and resolve in this beautiful story.
Reading this story gives me hope that if you try really hard, with all your heart, then it is possible to come out from the deepest of valleys. I will take that message from this and try to remember it because I believe that sometimes I get stressed out too easily.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work and spreading the positive energy all around. We all need that, sometimes, and reading a true account of a person who has gone through it all gives me hope. God Bless you, friend, it is so nice to hear that you are doing well now *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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89
89
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for kiyasama.

Initial Impression:
It is a surreal tale about the imminent struggle between life and death; the constant tug of war between the two. It is from the sufferer’s point of view who feels the pull of death even as he tries to wriggle out of the its clasp and into the arms of the life itself but how death wins in the end, anyway.

Story Strengths:
Wow, I really do not have many words to describe the brilliance of what I just read here. The representation of death as someone who is inviting, charming yet ghastly in its own way is very believable. The kind of spell its brings upon the sufferer where its shows its dominance not by force by show of pure control on the soul of him, slowly enticing him to itself is something which could be felt by the reader. I am imagining the kind of imagination must have gone on your part to create this character and trust me my head is spinning. To have such a clear mind about something which doesn’t exist in reality and bring it out on paper with such clarity is mind blowing. Truly impressive *Thumbsup*

What works wonderfully well is the first point of view which you used here which pushes the reader onto the front of the story, feeling all the suffering, restlessness and the numbness along with the narrator. I think that was a masterstroke on your part.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The point of the story wherein Death stands face to face in the narrator’s face just after he says that life must be somewhere near. The below lines made me feel the full thrust of the Dwath’s presence,
“He seems to loom over me, a dark figure sucking the very air that I now long to breathe” It creeped me a little since I was kind of feeling that restlessness and the narrator said it too. Goosebumps *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work.
Thanks,
Nishank
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90
90
Review of The Broken Goose  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for fyn .

Initial Impression:
Angel was one of those persons who was blessed with everything which life could offer that is monetary terms. Her life was no less than perfect, full of all the things which money could buy. Goose and Geese used to come to near that place which Angel befriended. She liked to feed them and formed a connect with them. Angel reminisces about her life which doesn’t plan out as she always did with broken marriages and all. She looks back and wonders whether she was able to live her life as she always wanted to and was she happy with it all. And how she was able to connect the childhood memories of the goose to what she did presently in her life forms the climax and the most beautiful part of the story.

Story Strengths:
The depth of the story is what moves me. There is so much happening in this piece which is not plain expressed by the author but is instead felt by the reader as he connects the dot himself. Despite all the riches how Angel feels a longing for something tangible is something which could be felt by me. I especially like the fact that there is so much positivity and hope in this story despite the heartbreaks which surrounded Emily’s life. The fact that she is still able to move on, live happily, without much regrets is the message of hope which this story manages to pass on to me. Liked it *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
Without a doubt, the last lines of the story where the booking is done for a couple and they reveal what the name of the hotel is. It was so heartwarming and life affirming! Wow!

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. It was as beautiful as poetry.
Thanks,
Nishank
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91
91
Review of Rendering  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for fyn .

Initial Impression:
Emily, an artist, arrives in a little known to get away from the hustle bustle and closer to the real nature. She buys an apartment settled in thick of nature and paints away using the inspiration of the beauty around that place. How she manages to assimilate in the town and with the town people while using the beauty of the nature for her artistic benefits is what forms the latter part of the story.

Story Strengths:
We all want to that quaint little town, away from all the world we live in; a place where we would be able to pursue our own calling and seek to satiate the artistic soul in us who we seek to remain truthful to. I always wonder about those little stations we get to see where our train doesn’t stop but our train chugs along. How does life go on in that town; Are people happy there or are as sad as we are in our super busy lives? This story makes me live that part of my fantasy. What a perfect town you painted here! A set of windows overlooking the pond, the serenity which surrounds such a place and the feeling of satisfaction and completeness such a place might bring. I get to feel all of these in this story and I am truly grateful to you for it.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The paragraph which told about Emily getting ready to go outside the house to paint, is what I will take through with this story.
“Outside, she settled herself on a slight rise overlooking a front garden and …”
This is the line I am talking about and of course the lines following it. They are marvelous, truly exceptional because of the scenes which it creates in the mind.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I enjoyed being there in that town. *Smile*
Thanks,
Nishank
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92
92
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for fyn .

Initial Impression:
The story revolves around a girl with blue eyes who comes into a new town, supposedly. She is soon the center of everybody’s attention – women included – since her eyes displayed a kind of mystery in them which people just couldn’t fathom. How people react to this intrigue over the period of the time is the central theme of the story.

Story Strengths:
The descriptions of the small town and all the idiosyncrasies of people in that place it is what forms the solid foundation in the story. Despite the theme, in my opinion it is as much about the people’s everyday lives as it is about Sara – the girl with the blue eyes. You manage to catch that everybody slice of life pretty well. The conversations, the looks and the mannerisms all look authentic and life-like. Pretty good job, there. I felt like I was sitting in the cafe and seeing all it happen.

Comments/Suggestions:
The only thing I would like to say is that the story seems to be on a longer side considering the action part of the story. To me, as I was reading I was surely wondering about the cobalt blue eyed girl, I was enjoying the conversation but somehow it wasn’t building up towards the common central theme of the story. It seems like this piece is well appreciated by a lot of other readers and hence this might be something which only I have felt but I had to let you know what I thought about it – after all, that is what a review is *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The description of the blue eyes especially cobalt blue is going to stay with me. The mystery and the attraction of these eyes did deserve a description such as this!
*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I especially liked the sensory feel this story had.*Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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93
93
Review of Ali and Mitch  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ☮ The Grum Of Grums .

Initial Impression:
Ali and Mitch see each other after a long long time. They hit it off instantly as they had been lovers some thirty eight years ago. The chemistry between them was still there and they agree to meet at Ali’s place. What happens next and would their relation go to the next level is what the climax of the story reveals.

Story Strengths:
The portrayal of emotions is very real and perceptible. I could see the shift of the conversation - those initial talks warming into something more intimate and yet believable is what stands out in this story.

Then there is the plot of this story which gladdens the heart. There is some romance in meeting a person whom you loved so long back and you set this tale on that solid foundation. Frankly speaking, bumping into a person whom you loved some decades back is the fantasy at the back of our mind for many of us and hence, to get to see it work for Ali and Mitch was touching and romantic at a level.

The ending of the story is also lovable since two lone souls meet each other without breaking any relationship or morals. Perfecto!

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The initial conversation in the story where Ali and Mitch see each other accidentally was so believable that it is almost the kind of dialogue and mannerisms which i kind of imagined some years ago when I went through a break up. We all imagine things and the intimacy and friendliness in the dialogues is how I portrayed my reunion to be *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I enjoyed this story of reunion of the long lost companions *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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94
94
Review of Minor Key  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for ☮ The Grum Of Grums .

Initial Impression:
A boy living on the coastal areas, loves to visit a shoreline to feel the nature from up close. The regular life hardly impresses him and what all he has is imagination which is evident in the way how he imagines the cave he secretly visits to have secret treasures. He keeps his imagination to himself particularly being the shy, reserved kind . When before leaving the home place, he visits the cave for one last time. He meets a mermaid there who requests her to join her side, discover the sea and the other mysteries together and save the cave for her. Finding himself incapable to move away from the normal risk-free life what he does and how his life pans out forms the climax of the story.

Story Strengths:
Without a doubt to me, the most impressive part of the story was the tangible sensory feel this story has got. There are many points in the story when I was magically transported to the land where the boy lived and felt the freshness of the air, with the sea breeze hitting me. It was an amazing experience experiencing the environment you created in this story. Very Impresive *Thumbsup*

The second most impressive point of the story to me was the way in which you managed to keep the story moving forward despite there being hardly any dialogues in the first half of the story. It doesn’t seem like plain retelling of story at any point and every line adds something of its own in terms of emotions and ofcourse imagery. Very well done!
I particularly liked the end of the story because the melancholy note on because for some reason it feels more justified and natural, however heart breaking. The way in which it ends takes this story on a different plain, in my opinion.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The second paragraph in its totality was the best part of the story to me. It was so calming, soothing and lovely to experience that. But in the second para, these are the lines I liked the most –
“The sea here formed a sort of lagoon, where the water was calm and clear and little fishes could be seen darting back and forth.”

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I think I learned something from it *Smile*
Thanks,
Nishank
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95
95
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for smeedyr of House Targaryen.

What I like here:
The inherent cuteness of the story is what tickles me. It is a classical Wodehouse trick in play – somebody set into a corner where there hardly seems to be any squiggle room and just when the reader also thinks the same way and feels true empathy for the poor soul, somehow that person is rescued either by luck or happenstances. I loved it because its resemblance to the story which I have loved so much over the last few years.
The way you build dialogues especially when the subordinates dialogues are completed by Master’s and so on they induce a peculiar humor – the naughty, that winking kind. If you know what I mean. I liked the way you brought that effect in this story *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
There are quite a funny things I would remember from this tale especially considering the short length of the story but the first and foremost would be the place where the subordinate utters “the scales”. In my mind, I saw the subordinate fidgeting with something in his hand , sweating and uttering those words. What relief must have washed through his body once he uttered these words *Laugh*. I wonder if he remembers what he brought for lunch that fateful day. I do really hope. Amen *Laugh*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. This was the best piece that I read from you!

Thanks,
Nishank
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96
96
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Smee of House Targaryen.

What I like here:
Oh, that was so cruel...and richly deserved by Simon*Laugh* Elder brother can be total bullies sometimes (okay, most of the times) and you used this universal fact to paint out a very believable little story. Simon wanted to swing and he swung alright *Laugh*

Also, despite the brevity of the story you narrated the story pretty well and it felt as if I was reliving my childhood days. The tone was very causal and non-intrusive and it made me glide into the story as if my friend was telling a childhood tale of his own.
I am an elder brother too and I too bullied my younger unfortunate brother; maybe not so much for swings but while playing Cricket for sure. I would take my batting hit which could go on till my luck ran away and once I would get Out I run away with the bat, too *Laugh*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
Oh, without a doubt the last part. And I think I particularly liked the line at the end. Sarcasm laced words, though. Could have been of his brother too and I bet he was thinking the exact same thing in his mind and holding his belly as he laughed. Oh man, that must have been embarsassing for poor Little Simon *Laugh*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. Very enjoyable, indeed!
Thanks,
Nishank
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97
97
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Smee of House Targaryen.

I am a huge fan of Sir PG Wodehouse and hence expected some kind of relation with that grand name in your stories. Then I dig deeper into the challenge to realize that the participants had to churn out a story in 5 plain minutes! Awesome, right away for the effort itself!

What I like here:
The punch of the last line is the obvious winner here. I sure did not see that coming *Laugh* Nicely done. I was kind of thinking that maybe he had his fly undone, or wrong ticket of his family member or something but that ending surely caught me unaware and tickled me *Laugh*

When I reached the punch line I realized that that was the reason you kind of foreshadowed about the glasses before. That was a neat job, friend and again to think of it all in such little time is commendable.

I am a big fan of UK English and the way the characters talked in PG Wodehouse’s books. I sure saw some of it in this work too. For example, that phrase “hazard a guess” is Wodehous-ian *Smile*. I absolutely loved it

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
I was imagining the redness of the blushing face of Mr. Thomas once the storekeeper let out the secret. Now, that must have been some scene *Laugh*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I liked it!
Thanks,
Nishank
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98
98
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Smee of House Targaryen.

Initial Impression:
A writer badly suffering from Writer’s block pushes himself to the limit only to discover a strange light from an ink blob blinking at him. Drowned in alcohol, he wonders whether he has died or lost consciousness but soon figures out that it is not the end of him but rather a totally new beginning.

What I like here:
The feeling of desperation and hopelessness which you were able to build up gradually, right from the beginning of the story is what pleased me. It was not just a fact thrown at me but instead the writing let me see his desperation. Nice work *Thumbsup*
I particularly liked the ending which kept my mind ticking as to what to expect in the next part. It was unusual and engaging. Well done for that too *thuymbsup*

Suggestions:
See, I am might be suggesting something which doesn’t make sense at all but to me it felt that the story was a tad too long when compared against the action and activity which take place in the story. For example, in my opinion, if you could trim down the paragraph soon after the “Glint” then you could have a swifter, more active version of the story.(the paragraph starting with “The darkness shrouded him instantly”)

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
For a particular reason, I particularly enjoyed the following lines:
“He inched his fingers slightly apart and felt the light assault his eyes again through the thin membrane of his eyelids. ”
That reason is the accurate portrayal of the action which lets nothing to imagination of the reader. It is as if I am seeing it happen from y own eyes. This is just one of the places in which you have done it but this act is sprinkled around the whole story. Impressive *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work.
Thanks,
Nishank
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99
99
Review of Moving On  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 .

Story Strengths:
The philosophical and spiritual level of this story is the one element which impressed me the most. I am a committed lifelong learner - bot of the outside world and the world inside me. I try to understand things, of how cosmic energy works, I try to be regular at meditation, do think of how that calmness can be achieved, that peacefulness when nothing else matters. In this piece I saw some of my own thinking being reflected. Naturally, I was drawn into it. It made me wonder how at a certain level we all have a similar mental image of how the other world looks like. It kind of soothed and comforted me.

Apart from the central theme of the story, the clarity of the portrayal was what held my attention. I was literally swimming and gliding with Jim as he wondered along with numerous other souls.

Also, I think if you would have written this story as a monologue probably it wont have hit this much but the fact that it was well woven in a story form made it easy to digest and connect.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The beauty with which you put forward the concept of oneness was what touched me. It was profound to say the least. The below lines were my favorite part of the story -
“We are whole; we are separate. We exist as individuals, but we’re one entity”

Wow, that is so much wisdom bundled in one little sentence.
*Star* Thanks for sharing your work *Smile*
Thanks,
Nishank
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100
100
Review of Dan's Magic  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 .

Story Strengths:
A story having the main character as Magician always – well generally – manages to catch the attention of a reader so having the word “magic” in the title was one master stroke. The description caught my attention even more because it told me right there that this was going to be a very different plot. A interview with a magician, wow, you had all of my attention then and there.

My expectations of this piece were real high and thus, I am even more impressed with the fact that how beautifully you were able to meet them. To state that so and so is your plot is one thing but then to spellbind a reader for the whole story and leave him with a smile on this face at the end is quite something another. You did pull of a magic trick right in front of my eyes, friend and I was thrilled and amazed at this experience.

The only point I would say is that if you had thrown maybe two or three lines explaining the motive of Detective when Dan was thrashing him then it would have been an ever better story to me. But I as a reader is prepared to take that leap of faith and ignore such nitpicks considering the brilliant reading experience you offered me.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The point in the story, when the reporter tries to be too smart and drops a card in his lap and Dan catches his “little trick”, then and there. Wow, I wanted to clap *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. You have enthralled me whole day *Smile*
Thanks,
Nishank
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